The next big comedy to come out of the Apatow camp has hit the silver screen running and is already being hailed as the new Superbad. So who the hell is Sarah Marshall and why are we forgetting her?

What’s Forgetting Sarah Marshall it all about?

A whiny, fame hungry actress cheats on her musician boyfriend with a nympho rock star, played by the snake-hipped lady charmer Russell Brand. The heartbroken boyfriend books a trip to a Hawaiian resort in an effort to get over his slutty ex, only to discover that the new couple are fornicating next door.

What’s good about it?

Well, it’s yet another stellar comedy from Judd Apatow, featuring the usual brilliant cameos from the Apatow gang (Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, Bill Hader). It’s actually deeper than their previous efforts and although this sounds like a step backwards from the Superbad school of comedy, it makes for a perfect date movie. If nothing else, it’s worth seeing for Kristen Bell’s numerous bikinis, arousing fake orgasm and ogling the hot chick from That 70’s Show.

What’s bad about it?

Russell Brand pretty much plays a movie version of himself so if you hate Brand, you’ll hate this. Other than that, the first half an hour has the mandatory breaking-up-is-hard-to-do jokes and way too many shots of Jason Segal’s manhood.

JAGT verdict

Another classic from Apatow. Great laughs, attractive women and fake orgasms. What more could you ask for?

If you’ve seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall and want to share your opinions; feel free to drop your review in the comments.

With exploding heads, chainsaw-wielding lunatics, karate-chopping, rocket launchers and high-speed blow jobs - we present 27 of the greatest movie kill scenes ever to hit the silver screen. So sit back, relax, grab a bottle of cold beer and enjoy our video homage to slaughter and mayhem. Lovely.

#27 - Planet Terror: McGowan’s machine gun leg

Is there anything more satisfying than a sexy woman with a machine gun for a leg? In this scene Cherry (Rose McGowan) realistically floats through the air and then single-handedly (or should that be single legedly?) kills a bunch of guys with a rocket launcher and machine gun for a leg. Cue explosions and sexy back arches from our heroine. Fabulous.

#26 - Smokin’ Aces: Whoops, I’ve sat on a chainsaw

The inbred-looking trailer trash Tremor Brothers shoot up a hotel and slice people up with machete knives until a guard shoots one of them dead. The remaining hillbilly grabs a giant chainsaw and furiously tries to chop said guard to pieces. Maybe it’s the lack of co-ordination that comes with being inbred, but he hits a chandelier instead, giving the guard time to shoot up in the arms and legs, causing him to fall back and sit on the aforementioned chainsaw. It’s another possibility for Beyoncé to consider next time she considers losing some weight for a movie - although it seems a bit more extreme than the Lemonade Diet.

#25 - The Big Boss: Bruce Lee karate chops through his stomach

In the final fight scene, the bad guy flings a knife at Bruce Lee. Brucey kicks it straight back into his opponents stomach, then karate chops both hands right inside the guys gut. He then leaps atop the fallen foe and delivers a flurry of 8 punches to the head. Although, oddly, there are 9 punch noises in the scene which suggests the FX guy got a little carried away!

#24 - Con Air: “Why couldn’t you put the bunny back in the box?”

When Billy Bedlam finds a parole letter in Poe’s (Nic Cage) personal belongings, he discovers the former US Ranger is a free man. Poe politely asks Bedlam to put the bunny back in the box, but Bedlam kindly refuses. A bit of a scrap ensues and ends with Bedlam skewered by an exposed steam pipe, leaving Poe to utter his cinematic gold line “Why couldn’t you put the bunny back in the box.” What’s also amazing is that not one of the serial killers on the plane even so much as heard a struggle below them.

#23 - Deep Blue Sea: Samuel L. Jackson is shark bait

In the midst of a motivational and inspiring speech about how they can beat the sharks and survive, up pops old sharky in ironic fashion to grab hold of Mr Jackson and drag him down into a watery, and bloody, grave. Classic.

#22 - Hot Fuzz: The falling church steeple

Journalist Tim Messenger is waiting to spill the beans on the huge conspiracy surrounding the seemingly pleasant crime-free village of Sandford, when he meets his unfortunate demise. His death? A giant stone block is pushed off the church steeple right onto his noggin. Ouch.

#21 - Commando: The tool shed scalping

Arnie is surrounded by an army in a tool shed. So what does he do? Takes them on with garden tools. The best kill is when he flings a circular saw blade that scalps a guy as if he were a boiled egg. To see what happens after this scene, check it out here. As one of the comments says, “If this was an XBox 360 game, Matrix would have got an achievement somewhere during this.”

#20 - Crank: High-speed oral sex

Thanks to a poison in his system, Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) has to keep his adrenaline pumping to prevent his heart from stopping. His city-wide rampage drags his girlfriend into it. So how to keep his adrenaline up? Oh, I know. Let your woman suck you off while blasting away at baddies in a high-speed pursuit.

#19 - Doom: First Person Shooter scene

After being injected with Chromosome 24, instead of becoming one of the monsters, Reaper is endowed with superhuman strength and speed, as well as near instantaneous healing ability. He then proceeds to go postal on everything and anything in this awesome FPS sequence.

#18 - Total Recall: “Hey Benny….Screw yooooooooooooou!”

As digger driver Benny tries to turn Quaid (Arnie) and his lady friend into a smoothie, Arnie picks up a massive drill, bores through the fuel line and then drills straight through the digger and skewers Benny like a shish kebab, yelling the immortal line, “screw yoooooooooooooou!” as he does it.

#17 - Goldfinger: Shocking bath scene

In arguably the best Bond movie ever made, Goldfinger, Sean Connery throws a bloke in the bath during a fight scene. The guy reaches for a gun and, with quick thinking, Bond hits an electric heater in too, frazzling the guy. All this before the opening credits! The clip is long, with the best bits between 4 and 5 minutes.

#16 - Scarface: Tony’s still standing

Tony Montana destroys anything in his way, while getting hit with a few bullets himself. The entire scene is quoteworthy: “Who you think you’re fu*kin’ with, man?”. After getting pumped full of lead he stands screaming: “I’m still standing!” Unfortunately for Tony, an assassin blasts him from behind with a shot gun, sending him plummeting into his pool. A giant splash of watery blood, and he’s not standing anymore.

#15 - Shoot ‘Em Up: Multi-tasking shooter

The opening scene sees our hero, known only as Smith, not only save a pregnant woman (who later dies anyway), but also deliver and protect the baby, all while killing anything that moves with a sub-machine gun.

#14 - Fist Of Fury: Bruce Lee destroys a dojo full of baddies

As if kicking the crap out of an entire dojo isn’t man enough, Bruce then grabs a set of nunchucks and cracks domes like he’s making an omelette. Legendary.

#13 - Escape From L.A: Bangkok rules shoot out

One-eyed anti-hero Snake Plisskin (Kurt Russell) plays bangkok rules in a shoot out with four baddies. No one is to draw until the can is thrown in the air and hits the ground. Of course, Snake takes them all out before the can hits the ground and when it does, he proclaims in his raspy tone: “Draw.”

#12 - Glimmer Man: “Is that the best you got?”

Steven Seagal runs around slitting mobster throats with a blade hidden inside a credit card throughout this flick. The best kill however is this scene where he chucks the guy out of a window onto a spiked steel fence. “You don’t look like you’re gonna be wakin’ up happy now.”

#11 - Out For Justice: Bad guy must have a screw loose

Seagal once again delivers his own form of justice against a baddie. This time he’s kicking the living crap out of the guy before he batters him with a frying pan, a pepper mill and then slams a corkscrew right into his bonce.

#10 - Equilibrium: Saving the puppy

Cleric John Preston stops taking his medication to prevent emotion and feeling, which leads to him trying to protect a puppy from a SWAT team. When he’s discovered he destroys the first two SWAT guys with shotgun blasts to the face and then annihilates everyone else with some sweet gun katas.

#9 - Sin City: Jackie Boy gets a headache

Miho slices up Jackie Boys entire gang after chopping off his hand with a ninja star. Then, after blocking the barrel in his gun, he goes to shoot Dwight but instead gets a backfire straight into his skull. Miho then finishes him off with a slash across his throat. Nice.

#8 - Missing In Action 2: Chuck vs. The Rat

When Colonel Yin tortures Braddock (Norris) by hanging him upside down and shoving a sack over his head complete with a ravenous rat inside, blood flows. But who copped it? Watch the video to find out. Here’s a hint.

#7 - Raiders Of The Lost Ark: Sword vs. Gun

If you had a gun and some Arab chap was swinging a sword round in a ceremonial black dress ensemble what would you do? You’d shoot him, of course!

#6 - The Terminator: He copped it!

The scene that brought the world the legendary phrase, “I’ll be back” as a cop is flattened against the police station wall like an annoying fly.

#5 - Commando: Arnie lets off some steam

In a total display of manliness, Arnie rips a pipe off the wall and harpoons Bennett to a hot water tank, resulting in a comedy jet of steam gushing through the cadaver. As always with Arnie, there is a corny one liner, “Let off some steam, Bennett.”

#4 - Goldfinger: Electrified Oddjob

After getting battered by the seemingly unbeatable hat-throwing baddie that is Oddjob, Bond flings Oddjob’s hat into iron railings. As Jobby goes to retrieve it, 007 grabs a conveniently located live electric cable and uses it to fry the chubby cheeked one to a crisp.

#3 - True Romance: My grandmother did what??

After Clifford (Dennis Hopper) tells Don Vincenzo (Christopher Walken) a supposed home-truth, the imminent death is merely a formality just waiting to happen.

#2 - True Lies: You’re fired!

When a terrorist is on the wing of a Harrier jet Arnie is piloting and he slides down to a straddled position atop a Tomahawk missile; Arnie does what any man in that position would do. He delivers the smirking line, “You’re fired” then fires the missile through a building and into the baddies helicopter, toasting all and sundry.

#1 - Rambo IV: Turret time!

At the 2-and-a-half minute mark, Rambo decapitates a guard with a machete, then turns the gun turret onto the unfortunate truck driver from point blank range, turning him into 180lbs of slush. It’s a pretty intense 3 seconds.

Get yourself on YouTube now to find your favorite movie kill scene and post it in the comments for all to enjoy.

I think we must have completely missed this hilarious image the first time it did the rounds:

Other than countless fashion crimes, William Torres has also admitted to two counts of murder. He’s also believed to be a big-time drug dealer. It seems only fitting that he gets busted wearing a pair of fluffy lion slippers. Apparently he was also wearing his jimmy-jams underneath his hoodie.

Actually, Billy boy kind of reminds us of a garden gnome. He would probably take pride of place in some lovely old ladies shrubbery. Oh, wait - he already is:

How cute.

Most people reading this will know what Digg is. Just A Guy Thing has achieved a considerable amount of growth due to articles reaching the front page of the behemoth social media site. It’s fair to say that we appreciate Digg and the community for allowing our site to grow at such an impressive rate. That said, Digg really needs to man up. Soon.

It was brought to our attention a while back that another guy related site, The Art Of Manliness, was struggling to gain traction on Digg after a number of successful front pages. As I write this at the moment, they have an article on Digg which has been Dugg over 50 times. The article should be on the upcoming list for it’s given category but it’s nowhere to be found.

We have also experienced this phenomenon with our last few articles receiving enough votes to be, at the very least, at the top of the upcoming list for their categories. These articles were submitted by some of the so-called power users with a high rate of success for submissions hitting the homepage. So what is the problem?

The dreaded Digg auto-bury function

It has long been rumored that the almighty Digg have an internal bury list that effectively removes any chance of a site being promoted to the home page. Once you’re on this list, no amount of Diggs, praying to God or Kevin Rose will make the article popular.

A number of other high-profile sites such as CopyBlogger have also found themselves on this list. Of course, there are ways to beat the auto-bury algorithm, but in reality is it worth the effort to game them? Brian Clark said it best in his subtly titled article, Ding Dong Digg Is Dead:

Ironically, I was buried by success. In September, my content made the Digg front page six times, with three articles making it in a single week. After that, it became obvious that Kevin Rose and his in-house nerd brigade couldn’t tolerate quality content making the Digg home page that frequently.

It’s true that all things come to an end, but the reality is that Digg is effectively censoring content based on their own opinions. Both Just A Guy Thing and The Art Of Manliness reached a much bigger audience than they normally would which, for the most part, received the content very well. Of course you’ll get the trolls complaining about how “you can’t learn to be a man by reading an article online” but both sites received many constructive comments and a great deal of subscribers as a result.

So a site that becomes popular is instantly banned, despite the fact that the banned site could in fact produce high-quality articles on a regular basis? Time to man up, Mr Rose.

Now, we’re pretty laid-back and easy going guys here at Just A Guy Thing. We enjoy camaraderie with our fellow men and, occasionally, we might lay a bit of advice their way. Here are two vital pieces of advice to all those strapping blokes over at Digg HQ (including Kevin Rose).

How Kevin Rose and the Digg staff can man themselves up

1. Well first of all, you guys can have the backbone and the balls to admit there is an auto-bury list blocking sites from reaching your audience. We asked Patrick Altoft from the SEO consulting site BlogStorm about his opinion on the matter and he had this to say:
   

   I think that they should at the very least admit that there is an auto bury list, even if they don’t publicly name the sites that are on it. Digg is assuming a Google like stance regarding the algorithm and that’s fine but they use human editing to decide which sites to exclude.

   Using a closed human edited system is totally against the Digg ethos and is something that the wider community should be made aware of.

   Precisely. If Digg intends to hand edit their site then the community should know. If a site can be denied the opportunity to reach the front page, then logic would suggest that the system can also be manipulated so that certain sites or submissions from certain people go popular. Like this, for example:

   




101% Popular Ratio. Really?

2. Release some bury data, fellas. As Michael Gray says:
   

   The Digg administration will continue to hide behind the guise of user moderated democracy, however with lack of voting transparency (yes buries are votes and need to be transparent) what we really have is an oligarchy ochlocracy of web 2.0 knoblemen.

   Although Kevin Rose will continue to pass off the excuse that they don’t release bury information “For the same reason that we don’t expose all of our back-end methodologies for the Digg promotional algorithm, we also don’t expose the details of how the burying algorithm works.” we all know that is B.S, Kev. You publicly display the articles that members Digg and anyone visiting the site can see what stories a particular member submitted, Dugg, or commented on. Does this mean that everyone knows the hidden workings of your promotion algorithm? Nope. Man up and release the information already.

Now don’t think that we are merely bashing Digg because our content is blacklisted by the über-nerd created auto bury list. We’re man enough to accept our fate and move on from it. We will continue to use Digg as a source of inspiration, entertainment and amusement. Our only aim is to show Digg that honesty, integrity and openness are manly virtues that they should adopt immediately before they alienate the very people that helped get them to where they are today. And that message is one that can never be buried.

If you’ve got a few ideas about how Digg can man themselves to improve their user experience, or you just want to bash them openly for banning your site and depriving you of hundreds of thousands of visitors, then please drop your thoughts in the comments below.

It’s no secret that we love movies here at Just A Guy Thing. We like horror movies, generic guy films and guy flicks we haven’t seen before. However, we’ve never actually chosen a movie based solely on the level of profanity it contains. For a start, how would we know which movies were the most effin’ foul-mouthed? Well, those wonderful folks over at Kids In Mind have done just that, and a whole lot more too.

The site seeks to advise adults about a movies suitability for children, and it’s pretty damn comprehensive. What we love about Kids In Mind is that they pass no judgment on the nudity, profanity and violence that each reviewer bears witness to. Each category achieves a mark of out 10 and it covers everything from Dunstan Checks In (”Sexual innuendo; a towel-clad woman moans pleasurably while being massaged.”) to the one movie that scored a perfect 10 in each category, 70’s slasher, Halloween.

The level of detail is fantastic. Take Team America: World Police - “62 F-words and its derivatives, 12 sexual references, 9 scatological terms, 59 anatomical terms, 14 mild obscenities, 14 derogatory terms for homosexuals (some are in an ongoing play on words referring to the Film Actors Guild as F.A.G.), 1 derogatory term for African-Americans, 6 religious profanities, 15 religious exclamations (1 in French with no translation).” Somebody had to take the time to count and compile these facts. That’s comprehensive.

Only two movies had a level of swear words so high that the reviewers literally couldn’t count them all - comedy Fear Of A Black Hat (”F-words galore and other profanities, from the opening credits to the end, nonstop”) and the bare-breasted Madonna flick Dangerous Game (”Counting the F-words will force the viewer to miss the film. There is also a full range of scatological and anatomical terms”).

Here are a selection of the most foul-mouthed films in movie history (minus the two that couldn’t be counted).

Summer Of Sam

This New York serial-killer flick from Spike Lee is a furious foul-mouthed frenzy of expletives with a tally of “about 400 f-words” and a few homosexual and racial insults.

Buy Summer Of Sam

Alpha Dog

Ignoring the fact that the geek from The Girl Next Door got cast as a drugs dealer, Alpha Dog contains “310 f-words and it’s derivatives”. Pretty fu*king impressive, considering the movie was a total let down.

Buy Alpha Dog

Running Scared

Guns, corrupt cops and a bag full of 267 f-words sounds like a recipe for success. That is, until you cast Paul Walker as the lead actor. There were also 4 derogatory terms for homosexuals - all of which were directed at Paul Walker by the cast and crew on the set.

Buy Running Scared

Pulp Fiction

Pulp Fiction very nearly reached a perfect 10 across all categories, narrowly missing out in the sex stakes. (Although that gay rape scene would have pushed it to a 10 if we were reviewing it!) The swear count weighs in at about 250 f-words but they don’t specify whether it includes Samuel L Jackson’s wallet…

Buy Pulp Fiction

State Property 2

Never seen it? Us neither. But it does boast an impressive 248 of our four-lettered friends and you can’t really argue with mobsters, can you?

Buy State Property 2

The Big Lebowski

After brazenly missing this movie off our 100 Movies Every Guy Must See list, we’re happy to finally include the Coen brothers cult classic. About 240 f-words in this flick, most of them booming from the vocal chords of John Goodman’s character, Walter. (”Shut the fu*k up, Donny!”)

Buy The Big Lebowski

Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back

Although 228 f-words is pretty good going, if Silent Bob had pulled his effin’ weight, this lewd parody from the mind of Kevin Smith would have managed a whole lot more profanity. Shame, really.

Buy Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back

The Departed

Chalk up 226 f-words and its derivatives for the legendary Martin Scorcese. He also makes sure that ‘acoustically-impaired’ viewers don’t miss out by including six obscene hand gestures. What a gentleman.

Buy The Departed

Do you have a sweartastic movie favorite that isn’t listed here? Drop your recommendation in the comments, you fu*king *&#$.

This week SoCal disco rockers White Gold have spilled out their hilarious new single and video One Gallon Axe - from their majestic, dairy-obsessed 7th album, “The Best I Can Give is 2%.” With more theatrics than High School Musical and more hair product than prom night, White Gold riffs and shreds his teeth-whitening, calcium-rich axe in this off the wall tribute to milk’s creamy goodness. You can find the album on iTunes, but check your local cafeterias and supermarket aisles for tour dates.

“I’m pretty sure there’s more to life than being really, really ridiculously good looking.”

Zoolander was right, there’s also ROCK & ROLL! Check out this hilarious new video, One Gallon Axe, that combines the hilarious glam rock of White Gold and teeth-whitening, body-toning goodness of milk. With more shiny spandex than an American Apparel store and more long,sexy locks than the Foo Fighters, this crazy tribute to milk does a body good. And the fact that milk keeps your teeth pearly white and your hair silky smooth is just a bonus - what more could you ask for?

Check out the video over at YouTube.

Image by Frenkieb

We’ve received a great deal of criticism for our 100 Great Movies Every Guy MUST See article due to the generic action flicks and repetitive Hollywood story lines. In the interests of promoting lesser known movies, we’ve rented, downloaded or borrowed hundreds of guy movies you may not have heard of before. We’ve watched them, reviewed them and now we’ll list our top ten. Here they are:

#10 - The Right Stuff

Not many movies are better than the book the story is taken from, but the Right Stuff is one movie that achieves this feat. The Right Stuff is the first act of a much bigger story in which the main goal was to reach the moon before the Russians. The Space Race. This story is downplayed and instead explores the seven original astronauts plus Chuck Yeager, the guy who wasn’t chosen for the mission. What makes it great is that even though these guys knew the dangers of space travel, the risk of death or being unable to re-enter the earths atmosphere, they took those risks because they were made of the right stuff.

“Is that a man?”
-“You’re damn right it is!”

Click here to buy The Right Stuff

#9 - Croupier

A story about an aspiring writer who gets a job as a croupier in a casino. When he gets involved with a patron of said casino (cue Alex Kingston in her birthday suit), she encourages him to join her gang to be the inside man (see what we did there?) for their planned heist of the casino. All the while, Jack uses his experiences for the plot of his book, “I, Croupier”. The movie is multi-layered, combining love, sex, deceit and betrayal along with robbery and murder and is definitely a sleeper. We’d never even heard of it until we saw it. Clive Owen, as usual, portrays the character fantastically.

“The world breaks everyone, and afterwards many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break, it kills - it kills the very good, and the very gentle, and the very brave, impartially. If you are none of these, you can be sure it will kill you, too, but there will be no special hurry.” -Ernest Hemingway

Click here to buy Croupier

#8 - District/Banlieue 13

Can you imagine what a ghetto would look like in Paris in 2010? That’s the setting for this movie. An undercover cop and a former bad guy try to infiltrate a gang to defuse a neutron bomb. What ensues is a high-octane fusion of freerunning and government conspiracy. If you’re looking for an adrenaline fuelled movie with some great stunts, you could do much worse than District 13.

“You really think the government would allow District 13 to be destroyed?”
-”Six million died for not having blonde hair and blue eyes.”

Click here to buy District 13

#7 - The Nest

If your movie of choice is a tightly-woven action thriller, you should pick up a copy of this stylish French movie which may go by its other name, Nid de guêpes. The film is a combination of Die Hard and Assault on Precinct 13 which, surprisingly, packs an emotional punch and may draw a sob or two from the more sensitive viewer. It’s an intelligent film with a steady pace that may not sit well with the traditional Hollywood standards but we found it absolutely thrilling and enjoyed every second of the crisp, sparkling visuals, particularly during the numerous blood-soaked shootouts. Oh and it stars this lovely lady too.

“This is where it gets complicated.”

Click here to buy The Nest

#6 - The Sting

Robert Redford and Paul Newman star in this crime-comedy caper as Johnny Hooker and Henry Gondorff. After a big job turns bad, Johnny turns to Henry (possibly one of the greatest con-artists of all time) to set up a revenge sting against the vindictive head of the big-time gangsters Johnny had inadvertently ripped off in his initial job. The mannerisms and methods of speech portrayed by the characters will whisk you back to the middle of the Depression, yet the characters portray charisma in bounds and enough human spirit to come together in battle against devilish gangster Doyle Lonnegan. This is cinematic enjoyment at its purest.

“Luther said I could learn some things from you. I already know how to drink.”

Click here to buy The Sting

#5 - Human Traffic

If you’re English, chances are you’ve seen this movie. If you’re not then you probably think it’s about trafficking humans. Actually, it’s about pubs, clubs, drugs and love. Some people will say that the movie glorifies drug use, but you need to accept this film for what it is. A group of friends who live for the weekend. When Friday night arrives they spend the entire weekend drinking, clubbing and socialising. Just watching this movie makes me want to go out and live it up till the wee hours of the morning. Does it make me want to take drugs? No it doesn’t. Don’t take it too seriously and you might actually enjoy this film.

“The weekend has landed. All that exists now is clubs, drugs, pubs and parties. I’ve got 48 hours off from the world, man. I’m gonna blow steam out my head like a screaming kettle, I’m gonna talk cod shit to strangers all night, I’m gonna lose the plot on the dancefloor. The free radicals inside me are freakin’, man! Tonight I’m Jip Travolta, I’m Peter Popper, I’m going to never-never land with my chosen family, man. We’re gonna get more spaced out than Neil Armstrong ever did, anything could happen tonight, you know? This could be the best night of my life.”

Click here to buy Human Traffic

#4 - 101 Reykjavík

If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like if you were a 30 year-old guy living in Iceland, then wonder no more. Following the life of unemployed Hlynur, this isn’t your typical guy movie. It’s almost a coming-of-age drama comedy with some really brilliant dialog. Hlynur still lives with his mother and spends his days drinking, smoking and watching porn on the net - there’s at least one thing in that list we can all relate to. He won’t get a job and he isn’t exactly successful with the ladies. There is plenty of nudity for you too, although on more than one occasion, the nudity won’t be to your liking (if you’re a guy). Fantastic film that won a great deal of awards.

“Why don’t they show any porn in the morning? It’s easy to get the rest up once your dicks up and about.”

Click here to buy 101 Reykjavík

#3 - Seven Samurai

How we missed off Kurosawa’s triumphant epic from the last list, we’ll never know. We have shamed ourselves. Anyway, this movie is a masterpiece and it follows the story of seven masterless samurai hired by a village of farmers to combat bandits who will return after the harvest to steal the crops. One of the greatest and most influential films of all time, Seven Samurai is one of a select handful of Japanese films that became widely known in the west. Of course, then Hollywood saw the potential and the story was adapted for the western film The Magnificent Seven starring Steve McQueen. Many of the scenes in The Magnificent Seven mirror those of Seven Samurai, albeit in a different setting and the last line of dialog in the movies are almost exactly the same.

“The old man was right. Only the farmers won. We lost. We always lose.”

Click here to buy Seven Samurai

#2 - The Rules Of The Game

After reading the plot for this movie, we really didn’t expect to like it but much to our surprise, this movie was fantastic. Set in France at the onset of World War II, The Rules Of The Game is actually a provocative study of class distinction and human folly. This movie is quite complex and with such great dialog, you’d probably need to watch it a few times to catch everything. The movie is like a murder mystery at a big French chateau. Was it one of the rich guests with the knife in the kitchen? Was it a servant with the lead pipe in the bedroom? Watch the movie to find out.

“I have no choice but to dismiss you. It breaks my heart, but I can’t expose my guests to your firearms. It may be wrong of them, but they value their lives.”

Click here to buy The Rules Of The Game

#1 - The Limey

This is not your typical revenge type movie. It’s a slow burner, focusing much more on the character Wilson, played by Terence Stamp. Wilson is an English criminal who, fresh out prison, heads to LA to avenge the death of his daughter. A simple but effective story line I’m sure you’ll agree. The look Stamp has on his face in this movie is enough to strike fear into the heart of anyone and his vocabulary is wonderfully English.

“Can’t be too careful nowadays, y’know? Lot of “tea leaves” about, know what I mean?”
-”Excuse me?”
“Tea leaves… thieves.”

Click here to buy The Limey

If you’ve scoured the planet for obscure guy movies, or you’re just a major movie buff, feel free to drop a few movie titles in the comments to enlighten us all. Here at Just A Guy Thing we’re particularly interested in foreign movies at the moment so please, share with us.

Image by bo sultan

Everybody loves a decent horror movie. Some people get off on the blood and guts and mucus spilling all over the place, while others prefer to cower uncontrollably in the arms of a loved one. Whatever the reason for watching a horror flick, there’s no question that a decent film with plenty of gore can entertain an audience like no other genre.

With this in mind, we’ve compiled a list of the top 5 Gory Movie Moments.

#5. Girl gets her eye cut off in Hostel

The plot

Three backpackers meet a Russian man in Amsterdam who tells them about a Slovakian hostel full of American-loving, promiscuous women. Like most men, the guys follow their penis to Slovakia for fun and fornication.

The scene

Do you remember how you felt when you first saw her eyeball sagging from the nerves after she’d met the unfortunate end of a blowtorch? How about when the guy doesn’t know what to do and decides to cut it off? Personally, I was shaking my head in utter disbelief and I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or turn away! The oozing puss was really just the cherry on top of the whole thing. Although I didn’t particularly rate the movie, this scene shows that a tiny bit of bodily puss can be more effective than blood and guts.

Video of the scene [not for the squeamish]

#4. Uncle Frank gets hooked in Hellraiser

The plot

Lunatic Frank Cotton purchases an antique puzzle box from a dealer in Morocco. When he solves the puzzle, chains fly out of the box and tear into his flesh. Then a guy with pins in his head, the aptly named Pinhead, restores the room. Hidden in the depths of the room, Franks soul is restored by a drop of his brothers blood. Frank then encourages his brothers wife Julia to bring him more bodies to restore himself.

The scene

The final scene in Hellraiser is cinematic gore at it’s very finest. Sick and twisted Uncle Frank has almost restored himself, having killed his own brother in the process, and is about to kill his brothers daughter Kirsty. Unfortunately for Frank, the demons are back and he gets ripped to pieces by dozens of hooked chains tearing into his flesh and pulling him apart. Even with hooks pulling his cheeks apart to make him look like the Michelin man, Frank still manages to lick his lips in the way only a creepy Uncle can, before uttering the immortal line, “Jesus Wept.”

Video of the scene

#3. Rhodes being torn apart in Day Of The Dead

The plot

The third movie in George A. Romero’s Living Dead series is a zombie assault on a military establishment. Essentially, the zombies sweep through the underground compound, killing scientists and soldiers as they go. One of the scientists had been working on a zombie named ‘Bub’ to study how much of his mind was still human. Commanding officer Captain Rhodes doesn’t like it and kills a few doctors before fleeing and leaving his own men to die.

The scene

After getting shot by Bub, Rhodes tries to escape through a door which inevitably leads to a load of zombies. You know what’s going to happen when he opens the door but poor old Rhodes hasn’t got clue. He gets tagged in the gut by Bub and the zombies grab him from behind. What’s great here is the stretching of the skin right before he literally gets ripped into two pieces! All of his blood and guts ooze out in what is a very graphic scene indeed. Another great moment is when Bub gives him the military salute before leaving him to get devoured. Classic.

Video of the scene

#2. The torture scene in The Audition

The plot

A middle-aged Japanese man by the name of Aoyama who lost his wife seven years ago is urged by his 17-year old son to start dating women. The father and his friend (a film producer) hold mock auditions under the pretense of auditioning for a new film, so that they can find a suitable bride for him. As soon as he sees the beautiful Asami, with her soft voice and quiet confidence - he falls in love.

The scene

This entire scene is just a fantastic piece of torture and pain. To say that Asami is unstable would be the understatement of the century and when she finds a photo of Aoyama’s dead wife, she flips a lid and spikes his drink. Upon waking, he finds that he has been injected with a drug that disables his muscles but keeps his nerves alert. The tension in this scene is amazing as Asami sticks large pins deep into his body and eyelids. As she tortures him she tells him that he will never be completely hers and that she will kill his son. The kicker in this scene is when she pulls out the sharp wire used to cut meat and bone and wraps it around his foot. If you haven’t seen this movie, you really need to. The scene shown below is 8 minutes long but if you want to jump straight to the wire incident, skip ahead to 5.25 on the video.

Video of the scene

#1. Lionel chopping up zombies in Dead Alive/Braindead

The plot

Lionel is a young mama’s boy living in a normal neighbourhood. That is until his evil mother gets bitten by an infected rat-monkey (don’t ask). She gets sick and dies. But then she comes back to life as an undead zombie and begins killing and eating dogs, nurses, friends and neighbours - infecting residents of the town in the process. Lionel is the only one who can stop her…and them!

The scene

Holy blood-and-guts-fest Batman! This scene has it all. Lionel waltzes into a house full of zombies with a lawn mower strapped around his neck and nonchalantly proclaims, “Parties over!”. What ensues is a blood bath of arms, fingers, ears, noses, and heads as he plows through the zombies like a man possessed. Over 300 litres of blood were used for this mammoth scene of zombie slaughter. Keep a look out for the random head that gets shoved into a blender and set to juice mode. It’s sheer brilliance. I’d love to see what kind of zombie comedy type movie Peter Jackson could come up with if he were given a Lord Of The Rings sized budget.

Video of the scene

Obviously there are numerous horror movies with plenty of gore-tastic scenes to feast on so if you’ve got a list that differs to ours then leave us a comment listing your top five goriest movie moments and spread the love blood.

For years now men have had to suffer in silence when taking their girlfriend or wife to the cinema. How often do you get to see that new Jackie Chan movie? And how often does she get to watch the latest 18th century drama epic? I’m guessing the epic gets the nod over the guy movie every single time! Fear not my poorly treated comrade, help is here.

Men know that violence beats sex (marginally) and war beats peace! We turn our noses up to movies that are too serious or sensitive. When we stick a DVD on we want to hear explosions, laugh our ass off or bask in the beauty of gratuitous nudity! In addition to that, we want - no, better still, we NEED - movies that allow us to recite the dialogue from memory days later (”Heeeerrrresss JOHNNY!”). This behaviour will no doubt attract disturbing looks from women and children, but recite a line to another guy and you’ll see him nod in silent appreciation.

With that in mind, we’ve compiled a list of 100 great movies that every guy MUST see. Take your masculinity back, and start watching.

1. Casino Royale (or any other James Bond movie for that matter)

Fast cars, sexy women, sharp suits and high stakes poker. All very manly things which, when combined with the presence of Daniel Craig, make a really great movie.
Best line in the movie: “Now the whole world’s gonna know that you died scratching my balls!”

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2. Terminator

Originally offered the leading human role in this movie, Arnold Schwarzenegger decided that playing a bad ass robot sent from the future to kill was his destiny. And so he swapped swimming trunks, body lotion and homoerotic poses for a leather jacket, a gun and some black shades.
Best line in the movie: “I’ll be back.”

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3. Die hard

Nothing says hardcore like a hero running around on broken glass in bare feet and smashing through windows on a firehose. Bruce Willis literally wrote the book when it comes to action (we’ll forgive his mild indiscretion for playing a dead guy in the Sixth Sense).
Best line in the movie: “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!”

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4. The Last Boy Scout

When a movie has murder, strippers, sports, crooked politicians and stars Bruce Willis as a washed-up cop - you know it’s going to be good! This movie doesn’t disappoint. Trust me.
Best line in the movie: “Bad guy: You think you are so fucking cool, don’t you? You think you are so fucking cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain…” Bruce: “Play some rap music. “

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5. Top Gun

When the lead character has a butch name like Maverick, it doesn’t matter that he’s being portrayed by short-arse Tom Cruise. This movie will make you feel the need, the need for speed. Guy’s love planes. In particular, planes than can shoot other planes right out of the sky!
Best line in the movie: “And if you screw up just this much, you’ll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong!”

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6. The Matrix

How many computer hacker nerds wish that they were Neo? Living inside a computer program and able to remake the code anyway they like. With bullet dodging, kung-fu and Trinity in tight leather pants - this movie caters to all tastes!
Best line in the movie: “Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.”

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7. Back To The Future

If a time traveling Delorean doesn’t get you into a frenzy, then I don’t know what will. The BTTF Trilogy still makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up to this day - if only for the amazing soundtrack by Alan Silvestri.
Best line in the movie: “Great Scott!!”

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8. Scarface

When a Cuban refugee falls for a drug kingpin’s girl, you know you have all the hallmarks of an epic gangster flick. If you get attacked by a chainsaw and still live to tell the tale, then you’re alright in my book!
Best line in the movie: “Say hello to my leetle friend!”

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9. The Godfather

Quite possibly the ultimate bloke film ever made. Francis Ford Coppola’s masterpiece is an indispensable guide to surviving with honour in a dog eat dog world.
Best line in the movie: “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

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10. Platoon

A gritty and emotional (I know I said men don’t like it too serious but this is a war film, so it’s allowed) look at the lives of an American platoon of soldiers as they patrol, fight and die in jungles of Vietnam - seen through the eyes of a rookie recruit.
Best line in the movie: “Free your mind, your ass will follow.”

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11. Universal Soldier

Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren kill each other in battle, only to brought back as reanimated, near perfect, soldiers. Luc Devreux (Van Damme) starts having flashbacks from his former life and brutal conflict ensues. The only acceptable time for you to turn away while this movie is playing is for the gratuitous Van Damme butt shot (unless you like that kind of thing)!
Best line in the movie: “You’re discharged… sarge.”

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12. The Shining

In a nutshell - recovering alcoholic with a volatile temper gets cabin fever and tries to kill his family. To say the film is ‘a bit weird’ would be the understatement of the century. That said, the movie is a masterpiece and a must see - if only for the iconic horror movie quote:
Best line in the movie: “Heeeere’s JOHNNY!”

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13. Fight Club

After seeing this film, a million men declared they wanted to change their name to Tyler Durden and go kick the shit out of someone. Anyone! On the surface, the movie is about proving your manliness by punching the other guys lights out, but really it’s all about knowing yourself and not relying on personal possessions. I think.
Best line in the movie: “I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”

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14. Dirty Harry

A cop with no regard for the rules (but who always gets the job done) takes on a serial killer targeting random victims. It’s very serious stuff folks. Oh, and he has a big gun too.
Best line in the movie: “You’ve got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”

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15. Rocky

The Italian Stallion, Rocky Balboa, is a southpaw fighter out of Philadelphia looking to make it big by taking on the world champ Apollo Creed. The training montages and music are enough to make you wanna lose that beer belly - almost!
Best line in the movie: “ADRIAN!”

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16. Full Metal Jacket

If you ever wondered what it was like to be a U.S Marine - then wonder no more! This movie has more memorable quotes than any other, thanks mostly to the enigmatic Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.
Best line in the movie: “Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose.”

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17. Bullitt

This is the story of an all guts, no glory cop determined to find the underworld kingpin that killed the witness in his protection.
Best line in the movie: “Look, you work your side of the street, and I’ll work mine.”

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18. Enter The Dragon

Martial arts messiah Bruce Lee spies on a reclusive crime lord using his invitation to a tournament there as cover. Fight scenes galore and the unmistakable Bruce Lee ‘fight sound’ is just fantastic.
Best line in the movie: “Why doesn’t somebody pull out a .45 and, bang, settle it?”

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19. 48 Hours

Eddie Murphy is the wise-cracking criminal paired with a hard-nosed cop while they try to track down a criminal! All Eddie Murphy has to do is laugh and I’m sold!
Best line in the movie: “I’ve been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard if the wind blows.”

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20. Blade

Vampires, techno music and Wesley Snipes slicing people up with a sword. This movie has all the hallmarks of a guy classic - and it doesn’t fail to deliver.
Best line in the movie: “Fuck me? No, you fuck this!”

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21. Clerks

Two blokes working in a convenience store who spend all day annoying customers, discussing movies and playing hockey on the roof. Typical guy stuff. I thought I’d hate this film, but it turns out that I really liked it.
Best line in the movie: “Clerk: 37! My girlfriend’s sucked 37 dicks!” Customer: “In a row?”

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22. Highlander

When you watch a film about immortal beings who can only die if someone chops their head off with a sword - you’re going to be entertained. Back in the day, this film was awesome. Today, well…..it’s still awesome!
Best line in the movie: “You can’t drown, you fool, you’re immortal!”

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23. Braveheart

Exhibitionist Mel Gibson flashes his tackle to his enemies on the battlefield and leads rampant Jocks’ to glory. Well, almost. Brilliant and entertaining film.
Best line in the movie: “FREEEEE-DOMMMMMM.”

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24. Se7en

I used to have a neighbour that weighed a ton, literally. I’m beginning to think that maybe Kevin Spacey had something to do with it. You don’t wanna miss the gruesome ending to this movie, folks!
Best line in the movie: “Yeah, a landlord’s dream: a paralyzed tenant with no tongue.”

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25. Saving Private Ryan

Let’s face it, Steven Spielberg knows how to make a movie and this war drama starring Tom Hanks is no exception. A gritty, true to life and emotional portrayal of being behind enemy lines.
Best line in the movie: “It’s like finding a needle in a stack of needles.”

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26. Wild Things

If you’d like to see Neve Campbell and Denise Richards make out, then watch this movie. If you’d like to see Denise Richards get champagne poured over her bare breasts, then watch this movie. If neither of these facts have convinced you to watch Wild Things, Matt Dillon is in it - maybe he’s your ‘kind of thing’.
Best line in the movie: “Jesus! Where did she get the shoes? “Whores for less”?”

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27. Naked Gun

Legendary cop Frank Drebin has to foil a plot to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II with hilarious consequences! This is a laugh out loud film - Leslie Nielsen is god!
Best line in the movie: “Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.”

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28. A Few Good Men

Short-arse Cruise stars as a military lawyer defending U.S. Marines accused of murder. Once Jack Nicholson gets into the box - the shit really hits the fan!
Best line in the movie: “You can’t handle the truth.”

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29. Predator

I think I’d fancy Schwarzenegger (in his prime) to take on the Predator and win in real life. He’s badass! Here, he leads a team of commandos into a jungle, only to encounter an extra-terrestrial warrior!
Best line in the movie: “If it bleeds, we can kill it.”

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30. Beverly Hills Cop

Eddie’s laugh is reason enough for this movie to be in the list in addition to 48 Hours. Axel Foley will have you crying with laughter and this movie will have you on the edge of your seat too!
Best line in the movie: “Get the fuck out of here!”
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31. Ocean’s Eleven

George Clooney and the gang plot to rob three Las Vegas casinos simultaneously. Slick, smart and funny movie with a great ending.
Best line in the movie: “Ten oughta do it, don’t you think? You think we need one more? You think we need one more. All right, we’ll get one more.”

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32. Porky’s

Classic 80’s comedy about a bunch of high school kids looking to get laid for the first time! The movie is packed with practical jokes and eccentric characters, like Pee Wee with the short dick (which he measures every morning) who met up for sex with the school “mattress” Wendy already wearing a rubber, or the fat teaching bitch Beulah Balbricker who is determined on making life a living hell for the boys.
Best line in the movie: “This has gotta be the biggest beaver shoot in the history of Florida.”

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33. American Pie

Another classic comedy in a similar vein to Porky’s. Now, call me crazy, but I’ve never once had the urge to stick my wang in an apple pie! To each their own, I guess.
Best line in the movie: “I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.”

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34. Dog Day Afternoon

The robbery should have taken 10 minutes. 4 hours later, the bank was like a circus sideshow. 8 hours later, it was the hottest thing on live T.V. 12 hours later, it was all history. Pacino’s best work, short of Scarface and Godfather Part II.
Best line in the movie: “They keep sayin’ TWO homosexuals. I am not a homosexual. I want you to stop them saying that. Stop.”

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35. Swordfish

Travolta owns in this film. The opening speech is just brilliant and sets the mood for the rest of the movie. Extremely predictable twist, but you do get to see Halle Berry’s breasts in all their glory.
Best line in the movie: “You know what the problem with Hollywood is? They make shit.”

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36. Ferris Buellers Day Off

This movie practically shaped my teenage years. Faking illness to get out of school became an art form for millions after Ferris Bueller taught us the way. Also, the film inspired a bunch of no-hopers to create a new rock band, called Save Ferris. They are quite successful.
Best line in the movie: “Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second. “

Buy Ferris Buellers Day Off

37. Ronin

Robert “Are You Talkin’ To Me?” De Niro stars in this action packed movie about a group of outcast specialists whose services are available to everyone - for a price. So, are you talking to me?
Best line in the movie: “You got the gun. I’m unarmed. Do something. Go ahead. Do something. DO SOMETHING.”

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38. Taxi

Whenever I get a taxi, they always seem to take friggin’ ages to get me where I need to go because I’m on the meter! Not pizza delivery boy Daniel, though. If cruising around in a souped up Peugeot 406 taxi is your cup of tea, this movie has what you need. Who knew the French could make a decent film, eh?
Best line in the movie: “Let me ask you a question: Do your interrogations always end up like this, or are you just trying to impress me?”

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39. Taxi Driver

A mentally unstable war vet with an urge to violently lash out works as a night time taxi driver attempting to save a teenage prostitute in the process!
Best line in the movie: “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me?”

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40. Wayne’s World

Wayne and Garth are two slackers with their own TV show which results in hilarious consequences. Oh, and Cassandra is hot too. Party time. Excellent!
Best line in the movie: “All I have to say about that is ‘asphinctersayswhat’?”

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41. Dumb and Dumber

This film is basically about two stupid blokes trying to find some chick called Mary Samsonite. Some brilliant one-liners and quotes and some fantastic faces pulled by rubber faced comic Jim Carrey.
Best line in the movie: “You wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?? EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

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42. Snatch

Snazzy gangster flick written and directed by Guy Ritchie. Jason Statham is great, as is Brad Pitt - when you can understand what the hell he’s saying, of course. When you combine boxing, violent bookies, a russian gangster, incompetent robbers and supposedly Jewish jewelers all fighting to track down a diamond, you know you’re watching a good flick.
Best line in the movie: “Good dags. D’ya like dags?”

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43. Pulp Fiction

An all-star cast brought together by Quentin Tarantino intertwines four tales of violence and redemption featuring two mob hitmen, a boxer, a gangsters wife and a pair of diner bandits. Oh, and the most awesome wallet ever made!
Best line in the movie: “And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.”

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44. XXX

A tattooed adrenaline junkie gets recruited by the government to be a secret agent. I’m sure that happens everyday. Anyway, he has to save the world or something like that. I was too busy enjoying the high octane thrills and attractive women. Sue me.
Best line in the movie: “You have a bazooka, why don’t you blow some shit up? Stop thinking Prague police and start thinking Sony Playstation!”

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45. Rambo

Hey, another movie about an unstable Vietnam war vet who goes crazy! John Rambo is as badass as they come. And remember, they drew first blood. Not him. Unbelievably, Stallone is now in his 60’s and yet he still managed to knock another Rambo movie out!
Best line in the movie: “They drew first blood, not me.”

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46. Indiana Jones

Archaeologist Indiana Jones confronts snakes, Nazis, and goes from one astonishing cliff hanger to the next in this awesome adventure movie.
Best line in the movie: “Give me the whip.”

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47. Speed

Keanu Reeves has to save a bus full of passengers from certain death when some crazy guy (probably a Vietnam war vet) puts a bomb on it that becomes active at 50mph and explodes if it goes below 50mph. Gritty drama ensues and there is also Sandra Bullock to provide some eye candy!
Best line in the movie: “NO! Poor people are crazy, Jack. I’m eccentric.”

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48. Jet Li’s The One

Imagine, if you will, that you existed in multiple alternative universes. If you could get stronger with each alternative self you kill, would you do it? That’s this film in a nutshell. Jet Li has to stop himself from killing….himself. It’s awesome!
Best line in the movie: “I am Yulaw! I am nobody’s bitch! You are mine.”

Buy The One Now

49. True Lies

Action-comedy starring Arnie as the secret agent who uses his intelligence resources to pursue his cheating Mrs. The film features a young (and now rather sexy) Eliza Dushku.
Best line in the movie: “Kids - 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery.”

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50. Lethal Weapon

It doesn’t matter which Lethal Weapon movie you see. Riggs and Murtaugh are cops looking to prevent crime wherever they go. Plenty of witty lines and action and, if I remember correctly, you get to see bare breasts courtesy of Patsy Kensit in Lethal Weapon 2.
Best line in the movie: “Your baby is having my baby. And your baby, woah baby!”

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51. The Empire Strikes Back

Luke Skywalker takes some advanced Jedi training from the short green bloke. Talks weird, he does. While that’s going on Darth Vader is after Luke’s friends as part of a plan to capture Lukey-boy.
Best line in the movie: “No. *I* am your father.”

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52. Fast And The Furious

An undercover cop, a gang of thieves, fast cars and loose women is a combination for greatness. Combine that with Vin Diesel’s muscular performance, and you’ve got a classic guy film. The only down side, of course, is that Paul Walker is the star when he clearly cannot act. At all.
Best line in the movie: “I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters.”

Buy The Fast And The Furious Now

53. Anchorman - The Legend Of Ron Burgundy

Hilarious portrayal of a cocky news anchor by comedy legend, Will Ferrell. Every quote in this film makes me laugh and I find myself reciting them weeks later!
Best line in the movie: “Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.”

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54. Gladiator

A proper man’s man film about a Roman gladiator. It doesn’t get much more manly than that. The battle for power between the hero and the evil Emperor leads to a final battle - to the death!
Best line in the movie: “My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”