Look, I know boobs are really distracting. The male brain freezes up in the presence of boobage – it’s a scientific fact (or at least it ought to be). Heck, even celebrities stare at boobs. And the bigger the boob, the bigger the distraction. But if we’re going to be gentlemen (and let’s hope that we all at least strive to be), then there’s a few things not to say to that girl with the huge funbags.
Our friends over at Asylum actually have some women writers and at least one of them – Julieanne Smolinski, to be exact – has huge boobs. Those are hers on the left there. Nice, I know. So Julieanne can fill us numskulls in on what comments we might want to avoid in regards to the boobal area, and has come up with a top 10 list of sorts.
You’ll have to head on over to Asylum to get the full list, but here are a few helpful tidbits on what not to say:”I’m usually not that into giant boobs.” Apparently, for girls with huge cans this is not a compliment. Makes them think you usually go for flat chested women. And flat chested women makes them think of, well, men. So stay away from that one.”Do you have back pain?” You might be trying to be sympathetic, but fomr her point of view you might be trying to figure out if she has good prescription painkillers.”Can I motorboat them?” Now this should be an obvious one. Of course you’re thinking it, but just don’t say it out loud. It’s sometimes hard to keep that inside voice and outside voice straight while in the vicinity of large melons, but try.