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It's Almost Hard To Believe This Backfired

I'm so happy this kid didn't get hurt. I really feel as though he's destined for great things. He will probably join NASA and help colonize Mars. Or in three weeks he'll injure himself in a backyard wrestling match and spend $1 million dollars of public funds while he circles the drain on life support. Yeah, it's going to be the latter. *saluting US flag* Sweet land of liberty indeed. I want to shake that shed's hand and buy it a beer. Anyone have that shed's phone number?
 
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This Is Why The US Spends So Much on Defense
I hope they filled out the warranty cards on these mortar shells. I can't pretend like I wouldn't act any different...
 
Man In Tornado Shows No Fear
This dude has nerves of steel. How can anyone be this chill and composed as they are staring down a tornado. And it...
 
Ten Angry Reporters Melting Down and Blowing Up
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Security Cameras Show A Drunk's Stumble Home
Pleasepleaseplease let this be real. If it's not, then please don't tell me.  Here, the Sun has managed to ge...