This is a guest post by Gerald Mather.
Have you been talking to that special girl online? Have you finally learned enough about each other to have peaked both your interests to the point of a first date? The only problem is, now that she has said yes, where do you go? Not to worry – here’s five ideas to smoothly move that online flirtation into a real-world romance.
5. Movies
Coming in at number 5 is going to the movies. This is date is extremely easy and very useful if you are the kind of guy who has lot of trouble opening up at first. For some people it is hard to meet a complete stranger off the Internet and not make it an awkward silent situation – that’s not fun for either person. For this kind of guy I recommend a movie date. Very little talking and not a lot of real effort is involved, so the pressure is low.
The main downfall to the movie is that because there is very little conversation you won’t really get to know each other so it’s not always a great first date. My suggestion is to try and have something planned for afterward, possibly one of our next 4 dates.
4. Bar
Depending on the type of bar this can work out well or be a complete disaster. I suggest a small, quiet bar like a martini house: something upscale with low music, so you two can still chat and get to know each other. Bring some cash, pull out her chair, be polite and tip the waitress well (your date will notice). This should be a great first date, assuming you two actually hit it off.
DO NOT take her to your favorite club on $2 drink night and show her how cool you look dancing after your 15th rye and coke. Trust me – not a good idea, I speak from experience. In my defense it was not my fault, she asked if we could hang out last minute and I already had plans.
3. Pool Hall
Going to a pool hall can be a great first date even if neither of you play pool. The worse you both are, the more fun it is. Have a couple of drinks, loosen up but don’t get drunk. This date has an amazing advantage that the other dates don’t have – when it’s her turn to shoot, depending on where the ball is, you get a really good look at her. Butt shots, boob shots – pool has them all. She is so distracted with her shot she doesn’t realize you’re staring at her backside.
Just make sure you keep your eyes on her and off of the other girls in the pool hall. Keep the conversation flowing and this should be a really good first date. It is fairly quiet and it allows you to talk and get to know each other better while still having a distraction if things get slow. Try to avoid any stick or ball jokes. I know it’s hard but it will pay off in the end, I promise.
2. Dinner
Dinner is simple: take her somewhere nice, upscale with glass plates and a wine list. Make sure you ask her if she has a favorite restaurant since this will make things a lot easier on you. It’s definitely a good idea to call and get reservations ahead of time. Ask for a booth so you’re not sitting in the middle of the room, dress nicely, and remember your manners. In some restaurants you can find a table where you can sit side-by-side, rather than facing each other directly. This can help break the tension and keep things more playful.
Place your cell phone on vibrate and don’t check it until you have left the restaurant. Order something that you won’t get all over yourself (like spaghetti) and this date should work very well. It is traditional, you get to talk a fair amount and you get to know each other better. It is okay to order alcohol but keep it in moderation and most importantly don’t forget to tip. I suggest 15-20% – as in the bar, this is a first date and you don’t want to come off as cheap. Remember to have a plan if she wants to do something after dinner, so keep your self free and maybe this date will lead to a night cap.
1. Romantic Walk
Coming in as the winner is the romantic walk – this date always work well. No need for a suit and no need to spend a large amount of money (also check out our list of great dates when you’re broke). Most importantly, a walk is a great opportunity to chat in real life and see if the sparks fly as well as they did sitting in front of your computer. Find somewhere nice and romantic, near the water if possible. Check the local news and see when the sunset is. Plan the date so it just so happens your romantic walk also coincides with the sunset.
Grab an ice cream or a coffee depending on the weather and just walk, talk and get to know each other. It’s a great date if you are outgoing and love to talk but remember to listen – actually listen – don’t just wait for your turn to talk. Ask her questions, anything to keep the conversation rolling. Women love it when you show a genuine interest in them.
Make sure you have something planned in case she wants to hang out after the walk. A movie at your place or a martini house – who knows? Let her choose this one, make sure you are free and ready for anything.
These dates all work well for different reasons. So think about each of your personalities and do what fits best. Most importantly, have fun and any of these should be a date she won’t soon forget. If you have fun, chances are she will too. The one thing to remember on any first date is make sure it is special because with any luck this could be your last first date (if that’s what your looking for). Good luck!
photo credits: top glitter feet, middle andrewS5IS, bottom sophiea.
May 18th, 2009 at 7:22 am
The only caution I would give against #1 is that, with the presence of stalkers and such out there (yeah, yeah, its a very small part of the population, but still there), it opens you up to the possibility of “nasty things”. The other dates have the advantage of being in public places with lots of other people around. That’s still no guarantee, but it can make it harder for an imposter to try anything (and will likely simply scare them off).
#1 should work well once you have met this person face to face, but since you have no idea if the person you are meeting is real (or are who they claim to be), meeting someplace with opportunities for seclusion may not be the smartest thing to do. Yes, the odds of something untoward happening are small, but they aren’t zero, and it would be wise to take some care if you are meeting a complete stranger.