Hate ordering bottles of vodka at clubs? Hate other people that order bottles of vodka at clubs? Take a number. And life just got slightly worse.

Ugh.

Bottle service – the ultimate testament to conspicuous consumption just got a little more conspicuous with the advent of the programmable LED-screen bottle. In addition to enjoying the parade of waitresses carrying sparklers to draw attention to your new purchase, now you can exhibit scrolling sleazy messages (or even worse, your name) on your newly purchased bottle. Hopefully, this will reduce the need for guidos to stand up and wave the fucking bottle in the air every time the club plays “Blame It on the Alcohol.”

Medea Vodka has introduced a bottle with an LED screen that can be programmed to scroll, well, whatever a person who buys a bottle of vodka feels the need for their bottle to announce. A 750ml bottle of vodka with the programmable screen will retail for about $40, which means that they should be priced to move at clubs for about $400 a pop. Hooray?

Update - According to the Matt from Medea Spirits (in the comments below) these guys aren't distributing to clubs, so this bottle will be shouting at you from your shelf or during private parties only. I appreciate the feedback, but the title stays.