Holy S*#t: The Most Sweartastic Movies Ever Made

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It’s no secret that we love movies here at Just A Guy Thing. We like horror movies, generic guy films and guy flicks we haven’t seen before. However, we’ve never actually chosen a movie based solely on the level of profanity it contains. For a start, how would we know which movies were the most effin’ foul-mouthed? Well, those wonderful folks over at Kids In Mind have done just that, and a whole lot more too.

The site seeks to advise adults about a movies suitability for children, and it’s pretty damn comprehensive. What we love about Kids In Mind is that they pass no judgment on the nudity, profanity and violence that each reviewer bears witness to. Each category achieves a mark of out 10 and it covers everything from Dunstan Checks In (”Sexual innuendo; a towel-clad woman moans pleasurably while being massaged.”) to the one movie that scored a perfect 10 in each category, 70’s slasher, Halloween.

The level of detail is fantastic. Take Team America: World Police - “62 F-words and its derivatives, 12 sexual references, 9 scatological terms, 59 anatomical terms, 14 mild obscenities, 14 derogatory terms for homosexuals (some are in an ongoing play on words referring to the Film Actors Guild as F.A.G.), 1 derogatory term for African-Americans, 6 religious profanities, 15 religious exclamations (1 in French with no translation).” Somebody had to take the time to count and compile these facts. That’s comprehensive.

Only two movies had a level of swear words so high that the reviewers literally couldn’t count them all - comedy Fear Of A Black Hat (”F-words galore and other profanities, from the opening credits to the end, nonstop”) and the bare-breasted Madonna flick Dangerous Game (”Counting the F-words will force the viewer to miss the film. There is also a full range of scatological and anatomical terms”).

Here are a selection of the most foul-mouthed films in movie history (minus the two that couldn’t be counted).

Summer Of Sam

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This New York serial-killer flick from Spike Lee is a furious foul-mouthed frenzy of expletives with a tally of “about 400 f-words” and a few homosexual and racial insults.

Buy Summer Of Sam

Alpha Dog

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Ignoring the fact that the geek from The Girl Next Door got cast as a drugs dealer, Alpha Dog contains “310 f-words and it’s derivatives”. Pretty fu*king impressive, considering the movie was a total let down.

Buy Alpha Dog

Running Scared

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Guns, corrupt cops and a bag full of 267 f-words sounds like a recipe for success. That is, until you cast Paul Walker as the lead actor. There were also 4 derogatory terms for homosexuals - all of which were directed at Paul Walker by the cast and crew on the set.

Buy Running Scared

Pulp Fiction

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Pulp Fiction very nearly reached a perfect 10 across all categories, narrowly missing out in the sex stakes. (Although that gay rape scene would have pushed it to a 10 if we were reviewing it!) The swear count weighs in at about 250 f-words but they don’t specify whether it includes Samuel L Jackson’s wallet…

Buy Pulp Fiction

State Property 2

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Never seen it? Us neither. But it does boast an impressive 248 of our four-lettered friends and you can’t really argue with mobsters, can you?

Buy State Property 2

The Big Lebowski

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After brazenly missing this movie off our 100 Movies Every Guy Must See list, we’re happy to finally include the Coen brothers cult classic. About 240 f-words in this flick, most of them booming from the vocal chords of John Goodman’s character, Walter. (”Shut the fu*k up, Donny!”)

Buy The Big Lebowski

Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back

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Although 228 f-words is pretty good going, if Silent Bob had pulled his effin’ weight, this lewd parody from the mind of Kevin Smith would have managed a whole lot more profanity. Shame, really.

Buy Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back

The Departed

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Chalk up 226 f-words and its derivatives for the legendary Martin Scorcese. He also makes sure that ‘acoustically-impaired’ viewers don’t miss out by including six obscene hand gestures. What a gentleman.

Buy The Departed

Do you have a sweartastic movie favorite that isn’t listed here? Drop your recommendation in the comments, you fu*king *&#$.

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11 Comments For This Post

  1. John McKnight Says:

    Just like the article on the top horror movies, this is perfect. Somewhere out there (through the wonders of searching) people can find videos made of 2 of these movies: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and The Big Lebowsky. Someone with some video editing skills and some free time put together “The Fucking Short Version” of both of the mentioned movies. All these do is highlight the more memorable uses of the colourful parts of the English language.

  2. Ryan Says:

    Fantastic list guys. Can you do one similar to the imaginary one in Knocked Up, listing the top movies for Boobs and Bush? haha

  3. Ryan Says:

    Fantastic list guys. How ’bout one listing the best Boobs and Bush in movies, like they had in Knocked Up. hahaha

  4. FauxNixon Says:

    Fantastic list. It’s hilarious that there’s such a correlation between swearing and quality in modern movies.

  5. E Says:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_films_that_most_frequently_use_the_word_%22fuck%22

  6. TJ Says:

    I’m surprised that ‘Casino’ didn’t make it to the list.

  7. Donal Says:

    The Boondock Saints. Rocco going ape-shtit in the hotel rooms must break some sort of spead record for dropping the f-bomb.

  8. Mr. Poopoopachu Says:

    Midnight Run with De Niro and Grodin. C’mon…this movie easily has 250 F-bombs!

  9. Rob Says:

    How could Scarface not make this list?

  10. aaron Says:

    how come trainspotting’s not on the list?

  11. Tim Says:

    I would have to think that Reservoir Dogs and the South Park movie should be pretty close to being on this list.

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