Let?s get one thing straight ? this website is for men.? Real men.? Sure, it?s fine if the ladies want to read along, but Just a Guy Thing is for and about, well, guys.
So it?s about time we laid down some rules. The Man Rules. These are our rules!? Please note.. these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!
1.?? Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the?other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
And if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question that you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer that you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, hockey or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape.? Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this.? Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.? But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
Note: if you couldn’t tell by the photo of the shlub and the fact that every rule is #1, this is a joke that parodies male sterotypes.? It is not to be taken seriously.? If you are a man and actually following these rules you need to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century.? And you need to read more JAGT.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
This is wack. Almost all of these are pretty much based on the way shitty fathers and husbands act on idiotic television sitcoms. You address this to the “ladies” who may be reading. But I seriously hope no woman actually thinks that I myself am involved in any with this stereotypical, bonehead bullshit.
Not needing directions?! Yeah, that’s some fresh material. It’s only the oldest gag in history. Because all guys are the same. We just want to watch some sports on Sunday, drink some beers, and we all just DON’T UNDERSTAND THOSE CRAZY WOMEN WITH THEIR CRAZY EMOTIONS!
Seriously, If any guy is as clueless as the “guy” described here, it’s because THEY WANT TO BE. Because he doesn’t know how to, or doesn’t care to, have a meaningful relationship with another human being. Call me crazy, but I have a fucking GPS… and when my girl says nothing is wrong when something obviously is, I fucking ASK HARDER and we work that shit out.
Some of use are trying to be a better men here, and you’re holding us back by perpetuating this stereotype of a typical disconnected, shlub.
December 13th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Tom, this posting is tongue in cheek. I totally agree with you that we should all try to be better men and if guys are really behaving this way they are Neanderthals. That doesn’t mean we can’t laugh at the stereotype. The “Man Rules” are just as ridiculous as as all those stupid rules for women.
December 12th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Firstly,
are you the new writer in this blog? this blog was on sale wasnt it? what happened?
secondly,
many people might not agree with the post you just wrote..
it was very disappointing and somehow disrespectful of women.
pfft.. Man rules. since when did we have rules in the first place? u – suck.
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:11 pm
wow how bout u girls grow some balls. its time to become a man… HA disrespectfull to women!? comeon rish why dont u go wach hanna montana with ur boy friend. if girls werent so dramatic and complicated then the man rules wouldnt apply but life sucks and girls need to live by these rules. disrespect… ha pshh…
women need to be put back into their place im sorry but its how it is…
April 14th, 2009 at 8:03 am
I can’t believe people are taking this seriously. It was not intended to be.
May 7th, 2009 at 12:01 am
haha nice and ture. Thats us men, all ladies need to read it carefully.
it is what it is..
May 15th, 2009 at 2:06 am
some of you guys are rather sad.. its clearly a joke which men would find funny becouse no matter what you will feel and or find yourself in a situation where you will say or do something which was just mentioned in this blog
i say yay although i have read some similer ones to this before
May 16th, 2009 at 8:41 am
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
Mostly true.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
Almost always true for me.
May 19th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
This thing was a joke – don’t take it seriously.
A lot of these are true, it made me laugh. The color one is my favorite.
June 26th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
This is an amusing post when taken with a grain of salt. I’d probably never actually employ any of the rules, but they’re funny.
The best part was the end: “It’s like camping.”
July 11th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Hilarious! That is until I read the “Note” at the end and the first few comments to the post, which is when I realized this website is actually for wannabe ‘metrosexuals’ (aka fags), and not for real men. This list is so TRUE. Deal with it women, (including you, ‘Tom’).
July 12th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Whoa, Rick. Dropping the ‘fag’ bomb…
Well, I’d say you gay bashing someone on the internet (calling someone a fag IS gay bashing, by the way) says quite a lot more about your sexuality than my ability to dress well and to stay in shape says about mine. How does trying to appeal to women make me a fag?
I was born in the 80s. There’s a new definition of man these days. And the good women out there are looking for something more.
You’re a caveman. Have fun fucking tram stamp’d waitresses and watching Nascar.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Columbus was lost!
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Tom, your a retard. Did you really think your supposed to take them seriously? if you did you obviously have no sense of humour, Stop trying to be so high and mighty and stop acting like a dick.
July 24th, 2009 at 7:07 am
rules that keep men on top and women should just accept it and follow our rules. no crying ,b…hing, no bul….t. just do as we demand
July 24th, 2009 at 7:16 am
all negative comments on here about man rules are from faggots,women and puffers(p…y whipped) people. real men rule this world and the sooner you women and whimps accept that the better. oh i forgot women are meant to be seen, played with, not heard
July 24th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
also, just because you like fucking guys in the ass, it doesn’t mean youre gay. i dont let my need to fuck guys get in the way of my women hating.
July 30th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Seriously Tom, u metro sacks of sh!t, liberal whining ass wussies give us all a bad name. Have you EVER fired a gun? Did you cry when Michael Jackson died? Are you a Jason Mraz fan? Watch Oprah? You are obviously either gay or henpecked (same thing). Real women (aka, women who are not feminazi’s) like real men. So tie your argyle around your neck, pop your collar, order a freakin’ Zima and get back to the Oxygen network. Good day “sir”.
July 30th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
I am socially liberal, but fiscally conservative. I have in fact fired a gun many times, but I honestly have never really enjoyed it. I did not cry when I got the news of MJ’s death, but I did get a little choked up watching the funeral and blasted his music non-stop for two weeks after. I happen to dislike Mraz, but my lady loves him. I work during the day, so Oprah is so totally off of my radar that she may as well not exist. Of all my ties, I don’t own an argyle one. I hate fuckers who pop their collar. I’m 25, so I believe Zima has been out of production since I was about 15 years old, so I never really could give it a chance… Quite a topical reference on your part, by the way.
But, the things is, I am not sure how any of these facts qualify anyone’s gender, or their sexual orientation. You haven’t proved anything to me here.
I am not gay. I am not henpecked (yet). You’re pissed because I am not threatened by anyone else’s definition of what a man should be.
And look at you, you seem to be pretty threatened by the idea that there are men out there that are taking some extra time to be more appealing to women… and the game is kind of passing you by, isn’t it?
The women who “like real men”, or your definition of a real man, are almost entirely morons. So, with that, go with god. Hopefully people like you will remove them from the pool and make the dating world a better place for the rest of us.
August 1st, 2009 at 12:29 pm
i think people need to just see this for what it is….a joke
August 19th, 2009 at 5:09 am
all you guys sound like some period strucken cry baby ass bitches.
August 22nd, 2009 at 8:34 am
Joke or not, you people took it there, got really upset, and started getting really offensive. And also, while it might be heteronormative or socially acceptable to call a straight guy a fag for being a pussy, you are still offending an entire group of homosexuals that want [or have] nothing to do with this useless banter.
Find another word to low-blow a straight guys self-esteem, because faggot, queer, fudge-packer, feminazi, bulldyke, cum-dump, twink, fairy, queen, pansy, etc, are words that my people [the homos] like to use on ourselves in our own useless banter. Coming from you, its like calling someone a NIGGER, so don’t do it.
If you want to get smart and ask why I was on this site in the first place, its simple. Gay men are also ‘guys’. Our biological footprints are identical.
August 22nd, 2009 at 10:36 am
Well put.
August 31st, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Gee whiz! I like this! It’s a funny joke! But some people are so damn serious! Why don’t you serious people go critize something more important, like our economic problems!
October 22nd, 2009 at 5:36 pm
live by the rules, die by the rules, also you forgot one
a headache that lasts 17 months is a big problem, go see a doctor