In case you have been living under a rock for the last few days, Tiger Woods recently crashed his car into a fire hydrant just outside his Florida estate. Speculation abounds that the crash followed an argument between Tiger and his wife Elin in which she went after him with a golf club.
While I feel bad for what Tiger is going through, the incident has inevitably led to a variety of gags at Wood’s expense. Tasteless? Sure, but this is America – land of tastelessness.
Here are some of the best jokes we have been able to find so far:
- What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
- Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They are said to be named Elin Woods…”clubs you can beat Tiger with.”
- News travels fast. The Chinese are already making a movie about Tiger Woods’ crash. They are calling it, “Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger,” or how about “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant”?
- What do you buy a Tiger for Christmas?…A new windshield!
- Tiger is now in trouble with his sponsor Gillette because he said that “this was the closest shave I have had yet.”
- Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger’s wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.
- Tiger crashed his car because he was in a rush to move on to the second hole.
- Tiger uses clubs to hit golf balls while his wife uses clubs to hit tigers balls.
- Just because you’re the world’s no. 1 golfer, it doesn’t mean you can’t be beaten by your wife.
Heard any good Tiger Woods jokes? Let us know in the comments.
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photo credit: Getty Images
December 18th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?
Santa stops after 3 ho’s.
December 19th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Q: What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?
A: Santa stops after 3 ho’s!
December 19th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
Santos stops afta 3 hos….you stop afta no hos cause you don’t have
the money for a big time honey heh heh!
December 20th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Q. What should Tiger Woods change his name to?
A. Cheetah Woods
December 20th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
i got good jokes too:)
What did tiger woods change his name to? A: Lion Cheetah (Lying Cheater)
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
A: Santa only has 3 ho’s (ho ho ho)
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:39 am
Title for Tiger’s Autobiography “I played 18 Holes and 18 Ho’s”
December 22nd, 2009 at 4:33 pm
a boy is in class when the teacher says “ok before you go out to recess you have to earn it” “i am going to ask a question and if you answer it you can go out to recess” so the boy is very excited he thinks he is going to be the first one out to recess. the teacher asks “who is the president of the united states” the boy thinks really hard and right before he answers another girl jumps up and yells “barrack obama” “very good you may go out to recess” the teacher then asks “who was our first president ” again the boy thinks for a while and right before he answers a girl jumps up and says “george washington ” that girl is then aloud to go then the teacher says ” who discovered america. the boy tries to think fast and before he does another girl jumps up and yells ” christopher columbus ” the boy is now completely aggravated and says to himself “stupid bitches couldnt keep their mouths shut ” the teachers overhears quickly turns around and says “who said that ” the boy looks around jumps up and says “tiger woods
December 24th, 2009 at 8:11 am
what do u call a bounce of white men chasing after one black guy……….. A. the PGA tour
December 24th, 2009 at 9:03 am
…. obviously 18 holes wasn’t enough for tiger woods.
December 24th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
turns out tiger’s last lady is also a lawyer. she did him for free – you know — “pro boner”.
December 24th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
I heard that Tiger’s been asked to quit golf….
He couldnt even get through 18 holes.
=)
December 26th, 2009 at 1:37 am
haha ROFL @ Davids onee
I likee
A Lion wouldnt cheat on his wife but a tiger wood !
Whats Tigers favouritee brand? Nike: “Just Do It”.
Whosee the only one that can beat Tiger Woods? Elin
A Man’s about to walk into a strip club but thinks about his wife and says “hmmm what would tiger do?”
Tiger woods is giving up golf to become an actor first movie is called “Crouching tiger, hidden transgressionss”
December 29th, 2009 at 6:22 am
I didn’t know Tiger played so many public courses!!!!!
December 30th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
“What is the difference between a Lion and a Tiger? A Lion does not cheat while Tiger Wood…”
January 1st, 2010 at 9:52 am
whats the differeece between tiger woods and santa claus? santa stops at three ho’s
January 8th, 2010 at 6:46 am
got tiger’s latest video for Christmas – “Tiger Woods – my favorite 18 holes” – turns out to be about golf!!!
January 23rd, 2010 at 12:32 pm
Who knew 18 holes wouldn’t be enough for tiger!? He just had to play 13 more!
February 3rd, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Whats the difference between Tiger Woods an an Ostrich?
Answer: An ostrich knows when to take his head out of the sand!
February 15th, 2010 at 10:33 am
WHY DID TIGER WOODS LOSE HIS ENDORSEMENT WITH GATORADE?? THEY DID NOT WANT HIS NAME NEAR “IS IT IN YOU”.
February 27th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
it’s funny how he hit that tree and all those woman fell out of it:) LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
February 27th, 2010 at 9:42 pm
didn’t he have a SEX adickshon