As any popular man-about-town will tell you, there is a fine art to bar hopping that can be the difference between social stardom and social suicide. That being said, if you spend too much time worrying about the ‘Golden Rules’ of bar hopping then you’ll most likely lose the fun factor of actually going out and mingling in the first place. This article isn’t intended to ensure you follow each rule religiously. Instead, we’ve compiled a set of guidelines that can help to make your evening a success. So go out, have fun, socialize, drink, be merry and live your life to the fullest using our Man-About-Town Guide To Effective Bar Hopping.

Organization and Transport

Image by Miro-Foto

Okay, we’ll get the boring bit over with right off the bat because most people don’t really care about how they’re getting to the club or where they’re meeting their friends. However, I’ve seen many a good night ruined because of poor planning ahead of the event. At the very least you need to know where your friends are going to be. Arranging a time and place before going out is essential because once you’re in a bar and it’s loud and crowded, your friends might not hear their phone going off. Before you know it you’re spending half the night going to different bars and clubs trying to find them. Once you do, you’ve already lost the party mood and the night is wasted.

You might also want to arrange car sharing or splitting the cost of a taxi between as many friends as possible. Not only do you get to have fun and games while you’re heading out to the bars, you’ll also save valuable beer money by cutting the costs. This is all fairly common sense but you would be surprised how many people don’t plan ahead and end up having a terrible time as a result. I’m not saying you need to prepare a full-on social tactical mission, but a few minutes calling your friends can make all the difference.

You’re going to need to stay connected to the guys throughout the night as well, so use text messages to communicate if you ever get lost. I’ll never forget the time I was looking for my friend in a crowded club and he got me on a 3G video call while he was ‘getting acquainted’ with a girl in the toilets. Absolutely legendary.

Choose the cheapest place first

Image by Penningtron

Whatever town or city or country you’re partying in, there is always at least one bar with cheap alcohol on offer. This should be your first point of call to start the evening with a bang. Getting merry here will save you a fortune later, especially if you’re going to a nightclub where they charge extortionate amounts for bottled water let alone your triple-JD and coke. This is the ideal place for you to buy the rounds (if you and your friends do the rounds thing) because it will be cheaper than at venues later in the evening.

You can also take this time to catch up with your friends on their day and generally just have a good time while inebriating yourself. Later, when you might well be looking to court a young woman - you can be confident that you won’t offend your friends by leaving them to their own devices.

How to get the barman’s attention

Image by Will Ellis

One of the best skills in your arsenal is being able to get the barman’s attention quickly at an overcrowded bar. I’ve seen friends of mine ignored for up to 10 minutes while trying to get just one drink for themselves. If you’re female it seems so much easier because leaning forward to show just a hint of ample cleavage is enough for most red-blooded barmen to be over like a shot. For the guys, it’s a little more difficult.

Leaning forward while holding your money in a prominent position seems to work well. It signifies your intent to buy and many bartenders will acknowledge that. Another way is to become friendly with the bartenders outside of peak times. Perhaps visit a few bars earlier in the evening for a few weeks and get to know them on a name-to-name basis. You could also tip them like a gentleman after the first round, encouraging them to be more prompt with their service next time you get the drinks in.

Play drinking games to get the party started

Image by Tessa Farrell

There’s nothing like a good drinking game to liven up the mood and atmosphere to have a great night. Sure, you could sit around and talk while drinking and you’d still have a bit of fun and get drunk - but wouldn’t you prefer the challenge of a competitive drinking game? How much would you give to be the only Centurion standing (the only guy to drink 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes without puking/peeing)?

Drinking games add variety to any evening and, since you’ll get pretty drunk, tend to make it a whole lot more entertaining. As always though, alcohol is best consumed responsibly. [Had to put that disclaimer out there, just in case.]

Always dance like a man

Image by The Consumerist

The problem with bar hopping is that with the power of alcohol comes great responsibility. The responsibility that you owe yourself to not dance like this guy:

Now if you’ve got the moves then by all means use them. Personally, I tend to favor the Will Smith á la Hitch school of dancing. Sidestepping left and right with minimal movement, keeping to the rhythm of the music. Of course once alcohol has lubricated my joints, my hips become possessed and I look like Shakira in a hurricane, so I obviously try to downplay my dancing as much as possible.

Choose spots with a favorable Girl:Guy ratio

Image by Will Ellis

Whoever coined the expression ‘bros before hoes’ obviously didn’t have a snowball in hells chance of getting some. You’ll want to pick a bar/club with a favorable girl to guy ratio. As a friend of mine so eloquently put it, “Nobody wants to bar hop with a sausage fest of dudes!”

Once you pick a decent place and you’ve got good odds you can start to make a beeline for the ladies. Ideally, you’d want to hook up with a similar size group to you and your friends and have a good old merry time together. If you do pair off with a broad be sure to make her laugh and she’ll love you for it. If you’re out to get incredibly drunk with your friends however, get her number and get back to your pals. You don’t want to be dribbling all over her in a drunken stupor later in the evening because that will just about ruin your chances of getting anywhere with her.

Handling bouncers

Image by Abulic Monkey

Bouncers can be the bane of your life if you let them. The majority of doormen I’ve met are ego-driven men on a serious power trip. The best way to deal with them is to remain polite and friendly with them as much as possible. These guys are practically looking for an excuse to give you a good kicking. If, for some reason, you get refused entry to the club - just be calm and collected and leave with your head held high. (Take a few hot women from the queue with you if you can)

I’ve often found that befriending bouncers in the same kind of way as befriending a bartender can help you to get preferential treatment too. I’ve regularly found myself jumping the queue and sometimes even land an entry to the VIP section. I did it by tipping a couple of bouncers and then striking up a conversation with them about how often they get tips and what time they are working till etc. Once I’m on first name terms with a bouncer, it’s much easier to swan up to them and be like “Hey Chuck” while walking straight past the queue of 10 people waiting to get in.

The pre-gaming ritual

Image by Ted Percival

Pre-gaming can be as much fun as, if not more so, than going out itself. It involves a group of friends meeting up earlier in the day to drink, be merry and enjoy some quality male bonding before you head off the the club. You buy-in large quantities of alcohol for low prices and proceed to get plastered at a fraction of the cost of drinks in a bar. It’s the perfect warm up.

A personal favorite for me and my friends is to put on an action movie and for every gunshot, explosion and fight scene - you take a shot of your chosen poison. It’s fun, entertaining, and it can get you totally wrecked in no time at all. The only bad pre-gaming experience I had was when a few of the guys made a bet with my friend Rob. All he had to do was neck a pint of vodka and his drinks would be bought for him all evening. He did the bet and seemed fine….until we got outside and the fresh air hit him. He didn’t make it out with us that night but it did made for a pretty great pre-gaming story!

Always carry enough cash

Image by dyobmit

Not all bars and clubs allow you to paid by card and sometimes, you can be in the middle of nowhere which means no ATM either. You’ll need to carry some cash in your wallet for buying rounds and getting into clubs too. In fact, I often take out the amount of cash I want to spend that evening and then leave all bank cards at home. Like most men, when I get drunk I can sometimes throw caution to the wind and buy a round for everyone, including the porn star I’ve just met and the entire cast of Shaving Ryan’s Privates.

You also need to be careful that you don’t flaunt your money around because there are always unscrupulous people out there who will be looking to take advantage of your drunken state.

Always dress to impress

Although many bars allow you to get in wearing a hoodie and sneakers, that’s not going to win any style awards is it? I always dress up and take care with my appearance because you never know where the evening will take you. Always wear shoes because if you do end up going to a club, you often won’t get in with sneakers on.

What else? A smart and fashionable shirt tends to work well with jeans and shoes for a smart casual look. Novelty shirts are never acceptable by my standards, but you can if you’d like wear one to a house party. Never, ever at a bar though.

Don’t get too drunk to function

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A lot of guys seem to get thrown out of bars for ungentlemanly behavior. Whether it’s passing out at the bar, puking up in the urinals or copping a feel of the gorgeous blonde in the miniskirt; alcohol makes us do some crazy stuff! The fact is that if you overdo the boozing you could end up on the receiving end of a drunken shaming. Something no self respecting bachelor wants floating around on YouTube:

I remember one occasion when I was incredibly drunk and for some reason decided I wanted to get another drink. At the bar this attractive looking girl was all over me and hitting on me. She was grabbing my butt, kissing my neck and stroking my thigh. I thought the night was going to have a happy ending until I came to pay for the drink I’d ordered. My wallet was gone and so was the object of my affections. She’d stolen my wallet from my pocket right under my drunken nose!

Nobody wants to be the idiot with an Abe Lincoln beard on YouTube or to get their wallet stolen by a hot kleptomaniac, do they?

Leave a message in the comments with any tips or advice you have for becoming a bar-hopping messiah and if you’ve got any good drunken shaming stories/videos/pictures then feel free to share them too.

Image by Frenkieb

We’ve received a great deal of criticism for our 100 Great Movies Every Guy MUST See article due to the generic action flicks and repetitive Hollywood story lines. In the interests of promoting lesser known movies, we’ve rented, downloaded or borrowed hundreds of guy movies you may not have heard of before. We’ve watched them, reviewed them and now we’ll list our top ten. Here they are:

#10 - The Right Stuff

Not many movies are better than the book the story is taken from, but the Right Stuff is one movie that achieves this feat. The Right Stuff is the first act of a much bigger story in which the main goal was to reach the moon before the Russians. The Space Race. This story is downplayed and instead explores the seven original astronauts plus Chuck Yeager, the guy who wasn’t chosen for the mission. What makes it great is that even though these guys knew the dangers of space travel, the risk of death or being unable to re-enter the earths atmosphere, they took those risks because they were made of the right stuff.

“Is that a man?”
-“You’re damn right it is!”

Click here to buy The Right Stuff

#9 - Croupier

A story about an aspiring writer who gets a job as a croupier in a casino. When he gets involved with a patron of said casino (cue Alex Kingston in her birthday suit), she encourages him to join her gang to be the inside man (see what we did there?) for their planned heist of the casino. All the while, Jack uses his experiences for the plot of his book, “I, Croupier”. The movie is multi-layered, combining love, sex, deceit and betrayal along with robbery and murder and is definitely a sleeper. We’d never even heard of it until we saw it. Clive Owen, as usual, portrays the character fantastically.

“The world breaks everyone, and afterwards many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break, it kills - it kills the very good, and the very gentle, and the very brave, impartially. If you are none of these, you can be sure it will kill you, too, but there will be no special hurry.” -Ernest Hemingway

Click here to buy Croupier

#8 - District/Banlieue 13

Can you imagine what a ghetto would look like in Paris in 2010? That’s the setting for this movie. An undercover cop and a former bad guy try to infiltrate a gang to defuse a neutron bomb. What ensues is a high-octane fusion of freerunning and government conspiracy. If you’re looking for an adrenaline fuelled movie with some great stunts, you could do much worse than District 13.

“You really think the government would allow District 13 to be destroyed?”
-”Six million died for not having blonde hair and blue eyes.”

Click here to buy District 13

#7 - The Nest

If your movie of choice is a tightly-woven action thriller, you should pick up a copy of this stylish French movie which may go by its other name, Nid de guêpes. The film is a combination of Die Hard and Assault on Precinct 13 which, surprisingly, packs an emotional punch and may draw a sob or two from the more sensitive viewer. It’s an intelligent film with a steady pace that may not sit well with the traditional Hollywood standards but we found it absolutely thrilling and enjoyed every second of the crisp, sparkling visuals, particularly during the numerous blood-soaked shootouts. Oh and it stars this lovely lady too.

“This is where it gets complicated.”

Click here to buy The Nest

#6 - The Sting

Robert Redford and Paul Newman star in this crime-comedy caper as Johnny Hooker and Henry Gondorff. After a big job turns bad, Johnny turns to Henry (possibly one of the greatest con-artists of all time) to set up a revenge sting against the vindictive head of the big-time gangsters Johnny had inadvertently ripped off in his initial job. The mannerisms and methods of speech portrayed by the characters will whisk you back to the middle of the Depression, yet the characters portray charisma in bounds and enough human spirit to come together in battle against devilish gangster Doyle Lonnegan. This is cinematic enjoyment at its purest.

“Luther said I could learn some things from you. I already know how to drink.”

Click here to buy The Sting

#5 - Human Traffic

If you’re English, chances are you’ve seen this movie. If you’re not then you probably think it’s about trafficking humans. Actually, it’s about pubs, clubs, drugs and love. Some people will say that the movie glorifies drug use, but you need to accept this film for what it is. A group of friends who live for the weekend. When Friday night arrives they spend the entire weekend drinking, clubbing and socialising. Just watching this movie makes me want to go out and live it up till the wee hours of the morning. Does it make me want to take drugs? No it doesn’t. Don’t take it too seriously and you might actually enjoy this film.

“The weekend has landed. All that exists now is clubs, drugs, pubs and parties. I’ve got 48 hours off from the world, man. I’m gonna blow steam out my head like a screaming kettle, I’m gonna talk cod shit to strangers all night, I’m gonna lose the plot on the dancefloor. The free radicals inside me are freakin’, man! Tonight I’m Jip Travolta, I’m Peter Popper, I’m going to never-never land with my chosen family, man. We’re gonna get more spaced out than Neil Armstrong ever did, anything could happen tonight, you know? This could be the best night of my life.”

Click here to buy Human Traffic

#4 - 101 Reykjavík

If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like if you were a 30 year-old guy living in Iceland, then wonder no more. Following the life of unemployed Hlynur, this isn’t your typical guy movie. It’s almost a coming-of-age drama comedy with some really brilliant dialog. Hlynur still lives with his mother and spends his days drinking, smoking and watching porn on the net - there’s at least one thing in that list we can all relate to. He won’t get a job and he isn’t exactly successful with the ladies. There is plenty of nudity for you too, although on more than one occasion, the nudity won’t be to your liking (if you’re a guy). Fantastic film that won a great deal of awards.

“Why don’t they show any porn in the morning? It’s easy to get the rest up once your dicks up and about.”

Click here to buy 101 Reykjavík

#3 - Seven Samurai

How we missed off Kurosawa’s triumphant epic from the last list, we’ll never know. We have shamed ourselves. Anyway, this movie is a masterpiece and it follows the story of seven masterless samurai hired by a village of farmers to combat bandits who will return after the harvest to steal the crops. One of the greatest and most influential films of all time, Seven Samurai is one of a select handful of Japanese films that became widely known in the west. Of course, then Hollywood saw the potential and the story was adapted for the western film The Magnificent Seven starring Steve McQueen. Many of the scenes in The Magnificent Seven mirror those of Seven Samurai, albeit in a different setting and the last line of dialog in the movies are almost exactly the same.

“The old man was right. Only the farmers won. We lost. We always lose.”

Click here to buy Seven Samurai

#2 - The Rules Of The Game

After reading the plot for this movie, we really didn’t expect to like it but much to our surprise, this movie was fantastic. Set in France at the onset of World War II, The Rules Of The Game is actually a provocative study of class distinction and human folly. This movie is quite complex and with such great dialog, you’d probably need to watch it a few times to catch everything. The movie is like a murder mystery at a big French chateau. Was it one of the rich guests with the knife in the kitchen? Was it a servant with the lead pipe in the bedroom? Watch the movie to find out.

“I have no choice but to dismiss you. It breaks my heart, but I can’t expose my guests to your firearms. It may be wrong of them, but they value their lives.”

Click here to buy The Rules Of The Game

#1 - The Limey

This is not your typical revenge type movie. It’s a slow burner, focusing much more on the character Wilson, played by Terence Stamp. Wilson is an English criminal who, fresh out prison, heads to LA to avenge the death of his daughter. A simple but effective story line I’m sure you’ll agree. The look Stamp has on his face in this movie is enough to strike fear into the heart of anyone and his vocabulary is wonderfully English.

“Can’t be too careful nowadays, y’know? Lot of “tea leaves” about, know what I mean?”
-”Excuse me?”
“Tea leaves… thieves.”

Click here to buy The Limey

If you’ve scoured the planet for obscure guy movies, or you’re just a major movie buff, feel free to drop a few movie titles in the comments to enlighten us all. Here at Just A Guy Thing we’re particularly interested in foreign movies at the moment so please, share with us.

Image by maveric2003 *Image changed because she DID look like a 10 year-old girl!

A lot of men struggle with the basic concept of flirting. I’ve seen it myself with friends looking to hook up with a girl in a bar who tried everything in their tired and clichéd arsenal of pick up lines. Believe it or not, the following quote is not going to help you get the girl:

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.

Source: CO-ED Magazine

The main problem guys have with flirting is that they relate it directly to sex. If I flirt with the girl for long enough, she’s more likely to have sex with me. Women, on the other hand, view flirting as nothing more than some harmless fun with no determined end-game.

The differences between male and female flirting

Dutch-born psychoanalyst Manfred Kets de Vries blames the male super-ego. “A man behaving selfishly will ignore the implicit conduct of flirting in the blatant pursuit of sex.” He’s basically saying that if we were in a cave, the man would fling the woman over his shoulder and stomp away.

As far as human behaviours are concerned, flirting is the one that confuses us most. According to evolutionary psychologists flirting is man’s way of engaging pleasurably with a member of the opposite sex, with the ultimate goal of reproduction. Now call me crazy, but most men looking to pick up a girl are not thinking about having children with the woman! Regardless, women view flirting as a way of checking out the merchandise without compromising their virtue. So women use flirting to get attention, and men use it to initiate sex - but how do you untangle this web of crossed wires?

The key to flirting successfully

You’d think that common sense might help you to flirt more successfully, but you’d be wrong. And here’s why. Dr Antonio Darmasio, MD and head of neurology at the University of Iowa, claims that the reason it all goes wrong is because the process of flirting actually mimics brain damage. “The limbic system, responding to a cue that says ‘this person is attractive’, overrides the neo-cortex. Therefore, for a brief moment, we are completely out of control.” Now this quote won’t hold up in court should you ever get too out of control with a girl but it does explain why we struggle to flirt.

Understanding the brain’s response to flirting should help us to engage with women on their level, rather than as a covert operation to get naked with her! Here are some ideas for flirting successfully without coming across like a sex-crazed lunatic:

• Keep contact to a minimum. Nothing is more powerful in the flirting world than well-timed and placed body contact. Touching a woman should be the same as using your Diesel Fuel For Life aftershave. Use With Caution! If you overdo it, you’ll appear overbearing and creepy. The best times to engage physical contact are when you’re standing together or when putting her coat on. When standing together you can lean in close and place your hand on the small of hear back, as if you were telling her a secret. Putting her coat on at the end of the evening allows you to lift her hair up over the back of her coat. Very subtle and sensual but she will notice.
• Avoid over-confidence. If you’ve got all the right words and know exactly what to say to get her interested in you, there is a danger that she’ll take you as one of those slippery guys who have played women one too many times. She’ll be imagining you as the guy who flirts for sport and prefers the thrill of the chase to the catch. I’ve known a few of these cads myself and although he was successful with the women, it never amounted to more than a one night stand. That’s not being a man at all.
• Don’t play it too cool. Some guys prefer to take the ‘mysterious and cool’ approach by appearing dark and brooding from afar. This is all well and good but be aware than you have a limited window of opportunity to talk to her before you turn into the weird stalker who won’t stop looking at her. Another downside to this method is the tendency to sit and watch as other guys attempt to talk to the object of your affection. Don’t sit and sulk in the corner giving the death stare to any man who dares talk to your woman. You’ll come across as jealous and lacking in self confidence. Both unbecoming character traits. Instead, enjoy your evening and when she is available, just head over and talk to her. It’s really not rocket science!
• Don’t flirt with every girl in the bar. Women talk. With their friends and with strangers at the bar or in the toilet. Find a girl you’re interested in and focus on her. If it doesn’t work out then you might need to move on to the next place to find somebody else. Women will be extremely wary of a man who she has seen talking to other women in the club. You may be a masterful flirt, but you’re seeking an audience and in the end you’re only amusing yourself and are not really that interested in any of the women. They’ll pick up on it and before you know it you’ll be known as the annoying guy who sends dirty text messages an hour after meeting someone in a bar.

Technology and it’s impact on flirting

Technology has added an entirely new dimension to the flirting game. You can now use text, e-mail and instant messenger to flirt, but you find yourself trying to become a wordsmith to formulate the perfect combination of words. It’s now a digital minefield as well. However, I think that if used correctly, communicating in this way can help you to become more successful. Here’s why:

• You have time to think about your message. Rather than being put on the spot in a face-to-face setting, you have time to put together a message or a reply without having to do it immediately. This removes the pressure and allows you to flirt more effectively.
• You can be more open via text. Things you would never dare to say in person can now be said through a message. The beauty of this is that if she takes it the wrong way you can say it was a joke but the message didn’t convey the sarcastic tone intended (yes, I have used that before to get out of an inappropriate text) or you can be a little unscrupulous and just never speak to her again.
• What you say in text messages often becomes what you say in real life. Back in the single days I was a bit of a master at the whole text flirting game, regularly with 4 or 5 women texting me at any given time. As my confidence grew, I found there was a great deal of transference from my text game to my face-to-face game. I was more open, more outrageous and more confident and the end result was that approaching women was easier and more successful than ever before.

Now, obviously I’m not a psychologist or psychoanalyst but I am a self-taught flirt with a lot of experience and a lot of success. My final advice to you is to flirt wherever you can. Build up your confidence talking to waitresses, barmaids, checkout girls, or even your friends mother! There’s no harm in flirting and it will boost your confidence so that when you meet someone you really like, you know what to do.

If you’ve had some great flirting experiences or know a method that’s worked wonders for you in the past, then let us know in the comments.

Image by guy paterson

Proper tipping etiquette is still a trait rarely found in modern men yet, when perfected, it can actually become quite enjoyable. It’s a selfless act of giving to others based on the level of service you’ve received. A lot of these people get a pitiful wage and the tips they get go a long way to supplement their income. Make them happy and you’ll be looked after. Annoy them and you’d be best advised to eat your meal with caution!

Tipping like a Gentleman

Tipping really is an art form and when you’re giving your tip you want to be as discrete and gentlemanly as possible. Hand over the tip with your palm facing down and shake hands with the person you are tipping, simultaneously placing the money in their hand. What you want to avoid doing is waving the money around and making a big deal of it. You’ll look like an idiot for starts and if that isn’t enough, you’re going to make the person receiving the tip feel uncomfortable because, believe it or not, you’re coming across like a condescending jerk. You’re not throwing a treat for Fido here.

So how do you figure out how much to tip? Well the truth is there are no tipping rules per se, however there are guidelines which suggest how much is appropriate to give. Let’s investigate.

The restaurant waiter/waitress

This is the one that causes most debate because there is no hard and fast rule. It is also made even more difficult by waiting staff who have lost sight of the fact that a tip is a gratuity and is not actually required. As a guideline though, I’d say you can safely use the following without a disgruntled waiter spitting in your salad:

• Self-serve/Buffet restaurant - 10-12%. If the service was fantastic, you could up this to 15%.
• Local restaurant - 15%. Again, you could up this by a few percent if the server worked particularly hard or went out of their way to help you.
• A 4-star restaurant - You’ll want to tip the maitre d’ as you’re being seated, particularly if you’re a regular and he/she goes out of their way to reserve you a table or get a table when the restaurant is busy. The standard tip here is anywhere from $20-100. For the service of the meal itself I’d recommend a tip of around 20-22%. Don’t forget to tip the wine steward (a few dollars per bottle of wine) and/or the coat check attendant ($1 for a couple of coats).

Taxi driver

Unless you want to annoy the Travis Bickle-esque taxi driver by stiffing him on a tip you’d better go ahead and give 15% of the fare.

Hair salon

You want to make sure your hair looks as good as possible and tipping will ensure that your hair stylist gives a polished cut. They’ll also be more likely to look after you next time you visit too (I’ve been given a free colour before simply for tipping well). An acceptable amount is somewhere in the region of 10-15% of the cost.

Hotel staff

There are a number of staff members at the hotel that can make your stay very pleasant or a living nightmare depending on how you tip them. Here’s who you should tip and how much to give them:

• Chambermaid - $5 per night you stay. That is, if you want clean sheets, towels and plenty of toilet roll.
• Room service waiter - Again this is the standard 15%.
• Bellhop - If you let the bellhop carry your bags up to your room and show you around said room without giving them a tip then you’re going to hell. Tip them around $10-15 for their efforts.

The casino

If you’re going for a night out at the casino, you better be prepared to tip. Of course if you’re a professional gambler (or just extremely lucky) you’ll be able to tip from your winnings.

• Blackjack dealer - $5 chip (or more) per session. It’s also common place in casinos for the players to place a small side bet for the dealers. You can agree the amount with other players but a $1 chip is usually sufficient.
• Craps dealer - Those craps dealers love the action as much as you. It’s common to place up to a 10% side bet for the dealer.
• Poker dealer - $5 per session. Winners usually tip at least $10 and sometimes as much as 10% on bigger wins.
• Drink waitresses - $1 chip per drink.

Parking attendant

You don’t want some juvenile attendant ruining your prized Bentley Continental because you didn’t tip the lad, do you? On second thoughts, why would you let a juvenile attendant park your prized Bentley Continental unless you’re asking for trouble?

You should tip, at the very least $1 ($5 if they help with your luggage) but I would tip a little extra to get a better level of service. Perhaps $10-15 to make sure they don’t take it for a joy-ride á la Ferris Bueller. Oh, that reminds me, always check the mileage of the car before handing it over to a parking attendant!

But what if I don’t want to give a tip?

There are some occasions where you feel unjustified to give out a tip, but let me tell you why you should.

• The food was terrible. If the food was terrible, then complain to the manager (you might get a discount on the bill) but don’t take away the tip from the waiting staff because you’re punishing them for someone else’s mistake. Chances are they worked very hard for you and to not reward them would be unfavourable.
• The service was below par. If the service was below par then you should tip at a lower rate than normal. Usually, I’d speak to the waiter I’m tipping and politely explain the reasons for the lower tip. Just make sure you’ve eaten all your food before you tell them!
• You are a stingy and grumpy old man. So you don’t want to tip. Why not? You’re rewarding someone for doing good work. How would you feel if your boss decided to not give you the pay raise you’ve been asking for or taking your bonus away from you just because he felt like it? As the old saying goes, “Treat other people the way you expect to be treated yourself.”

Oh and for those of you wondering how to deal with people who flat out ask you for a tip. I like to go with the following:

Yeah, I’ve got a tip for you. Never eat yellow snow.

What’s your etiquette for tipping? Is it more or less than I’ve suggested? Also, if you’ve got a great tipping story from a restaurant for example, let us know in the comments.

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Men are widely known for their straight talking and tell-it-like-it-is attitude. But sometimes, us gentlemen say things that we really do not mean. Things that more often than not, get us into trouble. It’s written into our DNA. We have to protect our manliness at all costs. If it means bragging about scoring with a porn star you met at a strip club - then so be it. We never reveal the truth that we were actually escorted from the premises for trying to ‘fondle’ said porn star! So what common things do we say and not mean? Let’s investigate.

15. I want to learn a new language. Do we really want to learn a new language? The majority of people struggle to perfect the Queen’s English and the advent of social media sites such as Facecrap has only made it worse. You’re not going to become the voice of your generation simply because you’re talking Italian!

14. “Let’s put the tip in, just for a second to see what it feels like.” As if! This is standard practice for deflowering women the world over. There was never going to come a point when we said, “Right okay, that’s not working for me. I’ll just pull it out and put my clothes back on.”

13. “I’m only having one drink tonight, lads.” Men are genetically incapable of having just one drink at the pub! One pint quickly progresses into karaoke madness, arm-wrestling competitions, a quick fumble in the toilet with the porky barmaid we swore we’d never touch and ends with us declaring our undying love to our best mate!

12. “It’s not you, it’s me.” This is the biggest lie ever uttered by man. Even women have got in on the act and are now using it as a way to dump us! The truth is - it is you but I don’t want to hurt your feelings. You’re too fat, crap in bed, you moan all the time, your friends are hotter and you smell really bad.

11. “Yeah, Dog Day Afternoon is a masterpiece of directing.” This doesn’t particularly apply to Dog Day Afternoon, but any movie that comes up in discussion down the pub that you haven’t seen! We try to blag our way through the conversation despite knowing nothing about the film, the cast, the plot or even what constitutes a masterpiece of directing!

10. “We need to catch up soon over a pint.” Don’t you just hate bumping into that annoying twat from school who was the sports star, ladies man and all around nice guy! The only way to get rid of him short of a shotgun is to agree to meet up soon. Preferably, when hell freezes over.

9. “Your new girlfriend is lovely mate. Really nice.” Well, what else can you say? “I know you’re lonely since the love of your life dumped you for her yoga instructor, but you need to set your standards a little higher than a woman with more facial hair than ZZ Top!”

8. “Give me the hottest curry on the menu. NOW!” In a desperate bid to show our manliness, we try to convince ourselves that shoving a vindaloo down our throats is the best way to establish our male dominance. In reality, we’re crying on the inside!

7. “I’m rethinking my career choices.” Every now and again we get a little jaded with our worklife and decide to research the possibility of joining an Alaskan crab-fishing crew. Obviously, we get bored quickly and check to see if anyone posted a comment on our zany “Get Me Out Of This Office” blog.

6. “Keep that up and I’ll phone the police.” We know we won’t call the police. We’d have to repeat the post code ten times to the operator, have to let the fuzz into our home to ask us questions and then watch as they drive away - never to hear from them again. Besides, chavs measure their success through ASBO’s so really, what’s the point?

5. “I’ll pay you back mate, I promise.” To be fair, this is half true. We will, eventually, pay you back. Once we’ve paid off our 50″ LCD-HD telly, our yearly subscription to The Adult Channel, our gym membership and our brand-new Audi S3.

4. “Of course I’m listening to you, dear.” This is usually followed by a few caveman grunts and a nod or two. We’re not really listening but we are paying just enough attention to not get caught watching the football while you describe, in excruciating detail, everything that happened to you today.

3. “I’m not like other guys. I don’t kiss and tell.” This is a loop-hole in the dating system that men have exploited for years. Technically, we don’t kiss and tell. When we’re bragging to our mates about shagging you in the back of the car, the last thing we’d ever want to tell them about is the kissing!

2. “She’s just a friend.” Yeah, she’s just a really hot, big bosomed, nymphomaniac friend. Who are you trying to kid, chief?

1. “Oi! You and me, outside, right now!” In a desperate attempt to solidify our dominance in the presence of another alpha-male we try to bluff our way out of it by calling them out! For the love of God, why?? Chances are he’s going to answer your bluff with one of his own. The best you can hope for is that you’re both regretting your decision and when you get face to face, you have a bit of a shout, a few shoves and maybe beat your chest in that ever-so manly way before your mates mercifully pull you away!

What’s missing then gents (and ladies)? Drop a message in the comments and we’ll add them in.

For years now men have had to suffer in silence when taking their girlfriend or wife to the cinema. How often do you get to see that new Jackie Chan movie? And how often does she get to watch the latest 18th century drama epic? I’m guessing the epic gets the nod over the guy movie every single time! Fear not my poorly treated comrade, help is here.

Men know that violence beats sex (marginally) and war beats peace! We turn our noses up to movies that are too serious or sensitive. When we stick a DVD on we want to hear explosions, laugh our ass off or bask in the beauty of gratuitous nudity! In addition to that, we want - no, better still, we NEED - movies that allow us to recite the dialogue from memory days later (”Heeeerrrresss JOHNNY!”). This behaviour will no doubt attract disturbing looks from women and children, but recite a line to another guy and you’ll see him nod in silent appreciation.

With that in mind, we’ve compiled a list of 100 great movies that every guy MUST see. Take your masculinity back, and start watching.

1. Casino Royale (or any other James Bond movie for that matter)

Fast cars, sexy women, sharp suits and high stakes poker. All very manly things which, when combined with the presence of Daniel Craig, make a really great movie.
Best line in the movie: “Now the whole world’s gonna know that you died scratching my balls!”

Buy Casino Royale Now

2. Terminator

Originally offered the leading human role in this movie, Arnold Schwarzenegger decided that playing a bad ass robot sent from the future to kill was his destiny. And so he swapped swimming trunks, body lotion and homoerotic poses for a leather jacket, a gun and some black shades.
Best line in the movie: “I’ll be back.”

Buy The Terminator Now

3. Die hard

Nothing says hardcore like a hero running around on broken glass in bare feet and smashing through windows on a firehose. Bruce Willis literally wrote the book when it comes to action (we’ll forgive his mild indiscretion for playing a dead guy in the Sixth Sense).
Best line in the movie: “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!”

Buy Die Hard Now

4. The Last Boy Scout

When a movie has murder, strippers, sports, crooked politicians and stars Bruce Willis as a washed-up cop - you know it’s going to be good! This movie doesn’t disappoint. Trust me.
Best line in the movie: “Bad guy: You think you are so fucking cool, don’t you? You think you are so fucking cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain…” Bruce: “Play some rap music. “

Buy The Last Boy Scout Now

5. Top Gun

When the lead character has a butch name like Maverick, it doesn’t matter that he’s being portrayed by short-arse Tom Cruise. This movie will make you feel the need, the need for speed. Guy’s love planes. In particular, planes than can shoot other planes right out of the sky!
Best line in the movie: “And if you screw up just this much, you’ll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong!”

Buy Top Gun Now

6. The Matrix

How many computer hacker nerds wish that they were Neo? Living inside a computer program and able to remake the code anyway they like. With bullet dodging, kung-fu and Trinity in tight leather pants - this movie caters to all tastes!
Best line in the movie: “Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.”

Buy The Matrix Now

7. Back To The Future

If a time traveling Delorean doesn’t get you into a frenzy, then I don’t know what will. The BTTF Trilogy still makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up to this day - if only for the amazing soundtrack by Alan Silvestri.
Best line in the movie: “Great Scott!!”

Buy Back To The Future Now

8. Scarface

When a Cuban refugee falls for a drug kingpin’s girl, you know you have all the hallmarks of an epic gangster flick. If you get attacked by a chainsaw and still live to tell the tale, then you’re alright in my book!
Best line in the movie: “Say hello to my leetle friend!”

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9. The Godfather

Quite possibly the ultimate bloke film ever made. Francis Ford Coppola’s masterpiece is an indispensable guide to surviving with honour in a dog eat dog world.
Best line in the movie: “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

Buy The Godfather Now

10. Platoon

A gritty and emotional (I know I said men don’t like it too serious but this is a war film, so it’s allowed) look at the lives of an American platoon of soldiers as they patrol, fight and die in jungles of Vietnam - seen through the eyes of a rookie recruit.
Best line in the movie: “Free your mind, your ass will follow.”

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11. Universal Soldier

Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren kill each other in battle, only to brought back as reanimated, near perfect, soldiers. Luc Devreux (Van Damme) starts having flashbacks from his former life and brutal conflict ensues. The only acceptable time for you to turn away while this movie is playing is for the gratuitous Van Damme butt shot (unless you like that kind of thing)!
Best line in the movie: “You’re discharged… sarge.”

Buy Universal Soldier Now

12. The Shining

In a nutshell - recovering alcoholic with a volatile temper gets cabin fever and tries to kill his family. To say the film is ‘a bit weird’ would be the understatement of the century. That said, the movie is a masterpiece and a must see - if only for the iconic horror movie quote:
Best line in the movie: “Heeeere’s JOHNNY!”

Buy The Shining Now

13. Fight Club

After seeing this film, a million men declared they wanted to change their name to Tyler Durden and go kick the shit out of someone. Anyone! On the surface, the movie is about proving your manliness by punching the other guys lights out, but really it’s all about knowing yourself and not relying on personal possessions. I think.
Best line in the movie: “I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”

Buy Fight Club Now

14. Dirty Harry

A cop with no regard for the rules (but who always gets the job done) takes on a serial killer targeting random victims. It’s very serious stuff folks. Oh, and he has a big gun too.
Best line in the movie: “You’ve got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”

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15. Rocky

The Italian Stallion, Rocky Balboa, is a southpaw fighter out of Philadelphia looking to make it big by taking on the world champ Apollo Creed. The training montages and music are enough to make you wanna lose that beer belly - almost!
Best line in the movie: “ADRIAN!”

Buy Rocky Now

16. Full Metal Jacket

If you ever wondered what it was like to be a U.S Marine - then wonder no more! This movie has more memorable quotes than any other, thanks mostly to the enigmatic Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.
Best line in the movie: “Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose.”

Buy Full Metal Jacket

17. Bullitt

This is the story of an all guts, no glory cop determined to find the underworld kingpin that killed the witness in his protection.
Best line in the movie: “Look, you work your side of the street, and I’ll work mine.”

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18. Enter The Dragon

Martial arts messiah Bruce Lee spies on a reclusive crime lord using his invitation to a tournament there as cover. Fight scenes galore and the unmistakable Bruce Lee ‘fight sound’ is just fantastic.
Best line in the movie: “Why doesn’t somebody pull out a .45 and, bang, settle it?”

Buy Enter The Dragon Now

19. 48 Hours

Eddie Murphy is the wise-cracking criminal paired with a hard-nosed cop while they try to track down a criminal! All Eddie Murphy has to do is laugh and I’m sold!
Best line in the movie: “I’ve been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard if the wind blows.”

Buy 48 Hours Now

20. Blade

Vampires, techno music and Wesley Snipes slicing people up with a sword. This movie has all the hallmarks of a guy classic - and it doesn’t fail to deliver.
Best line in the movie: “Fuck me? No, you fuck this!”

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21. Clerks

Two blokes working in a convenience store who spend all day annoying customers, discussing movies and playing hockey on the roof. Typical guy stuff. I thought I’d hate this film, but it turns out that I really liked it.
Best line in the movie: “Clerk: 37! My girlfriend’s sucked 37 dicks!” Customer: “In a row?”

Buy Clerks Now

22. Highlander

When you watch a film about immortal beings who can only die if someone chops their head off with a sword - you’re going to be entertained. Back in the day, this film was awesome. Today, well…..it’s still awesome!
Best line in the movie: “You can’t drown, you fool, you’re immortal!”

Buy Highlander Now

23. Braveheart

Exhibitionist Mel Gibson flashes his tackle to his enemies on the battlefield and leads rampant Jocks’ to glory. Well, almost. Brilliant and entertaining film.
Best line in the movie: “FREEEEE-DOMMMMMM.”

Buy Braveheart Now

24. Se7en

I used to have a neighbour that weighed a ton, literally. I’m beginning to think that maybe Kevin Spacey had something to do with it. You don’t wanna miss the gruesome ending to this movie, folks!
Best line in the movie: “Yeah, a landlord’s dream: a paralyzed tenant with no tongue.”

Buy Se7en Now

25. Saving Private Ryan

Let’s face it, Steven Spielberg knows how to make a movie and this war drama starring Tom Hanks is no exception. A gritty, true to life and emotional portrayal of being behind enemy lines.
Best line in the movie: “It’s like finding a needle in a stack of needles.”

Buy Saving Private Ryan Now

26. Wild Things

If you’d like to see Neve Campbell and Denise Richards make out, then watch this movie. If you’d like to see Denise Richards get champagne poured over her bare breasts, then watch this movie. If neither of these facts have convinced you to watch Wild Things, Matt Dillon is in it - maybe he’s your ‘kind of thing’.
Best line in the movie: “Jesus! Where did she get the shoes? “Whores for less”?”

Buy Wild Things Now

27. Naked Gun

Legendary cop Frank Drebin has to foil a plot to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II with hilarious consequences! This is a laugh out loud film - Leslie Nielsen is god!
Best line in the movie: “Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.”

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28. A Few Good Men

Short-arse Cruise stars as a military lawyer defending U.S. Marines accused of murder. Once Jack Nicholson gets into the box - the shit really hits the fan!
Best line in the movie: “You can’t handle the truth.”

Buy A Few Good Men Now

29. Predator

I think I’d fancy Schwarzenegger (in his prime) to take on the Predator and win in real life. He’s badass! Here, he leads a team of commandos into a jungle, only to encounter an extra-terrestrial warrior!
Best line in the movie: “If it bleeds, we can kill it.”

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30. Beverly Hills Cop

Eddie’s laugh is reason enough for this movie to be in the list in addition to 48 Hours. Axel Foley will have you crying with laughter and this movie will have you on the edge of your seat too!
Best line in the movie: “Get the fuck out of here!”
Buy Beverly Hills Cop Now

31. Ocean’s Eleven

George Clooney and the gang plot to rob three Las Vegas casinos simultaneously. Slick, smart and funny movie with a great ending.
Best line in the movie: “Ten oughta do it, don’t you think? You think we need one more? You think we need one more. All right, we’ll get one more.”

Buy Ocean’s Eleven Now

32. Porky’s

Classic 80’s comedy about a bunch of high school kids looking to get laid for the first time! The movie is packed with practical jokes and eccentric characters, like Pee Wee with the short dick (which he measures every morning) who met up for sex with the school “mattress” Wendy already wearing a rubber, or the fat teaching bitch Beulah Balbricker who is determined on making life a living hell for the boys.
Best line in the movie: “This has gotta be the biggest beaver shoot in the history of Florida.”

Buy Porky’s Now

33. American Pie

Another classic comedy in a similar vein to Porky’s. Now, call me crazy, but I’ve never once had the urge to stick my wang in an apple pie! To each their own, I guess.
Best line in the movie: “I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.”

Buy American Pie Now

34. Dog Day Afternoon

The robbery should have taken 10 minutes. 4 hours later, the bank was like a circus sideshow. 8 hours later, it was the hottest thing on live T.V. 12 hours later, it was all history. Pacino’s best work, short of Scarface and Godfather Part II.
Best line in the movie: “They keep sayin’ TWO homosexuals. I am not a homosexual. I want you to stop them saying that. Stop.”

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35. Swordfish

Travolta owns in this film. The opening speech is just brilliant and sets the mood for the rest of the movie. Extremely predictable twist, but you do get to see Halle Berry’s breasts in all their glory.
Best line in the movie: “You know what the problem with Hollywood is? They make shit.”

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36. Ferris Buellers Day Off

This movie practically shaped my teenage years. Faking illness to get out of school became an art form for millions after Ferris Bueller taught us the way. Also, the film inspired a bunch of no-hopers to create a new rock band, called Save Ferris. They are quite successful.
Best line in the movie: “Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second. “

Buy Ferris Buellers Day Off

37. Ronin

Robert “Are You Talkin’ To Me?” De Niro stars in this action packed movie about a group of outcast specialists whose services are available to everyone - for a price. So, are you talking to me?
Best line in the movie: “You got the gun. I’m unarmed. Do something. Go ahead. Do something. DO SOMETHING.”

Buy Ronin Now

38. Taxi

Whenever I get a taxi, they always seem to take friggin’ ages to get me where I need to go because I’m on the meter! Not pizza delivery boy Daniel, though. If cruising around in a souped up Peugeot 406 taxi is your cup of tea, this movie has what you need. Who knew the French could make a decent film, eh?
Best line in the movie: “Let me ask you a question: Do your interrogations always end up like this, or are you just trying to impress me?”

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39. Taxi Driver

A mentally unstable war vet with an urge to violently lash out works as a night time taxi driver attempting to save a teenage prostitute in the process!
Best line in the movie: “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me?”

Buy Taxi Driver Now

40. Wayne’s World

Wayne and Garth are two slackers with their own TV show which results in hilarious consequences. Oh, and Cassandra is hot too. Party time. Excellent!
Best line in the movie: “All I have to say about that is ‘asphinctersayswhat’?”

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41. Dumb and Dumber

This film is basically about two stupid blokes trying to find some chick called Mary Samsonite. Some brilliant one-liners and quotes and some fantastic faces pulled by rubber faced comic Jim Carrey.
Best line in the movie: “You wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?? EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

Buy Dumb And Dumber Now

42. Snatch

Snazzy gangster flick written and directed by Guy Ritchie. Jason Statham is great, as is Brad Pitt - when you can understand what the hell he’s saying, of course. When you combine boxing, violent bookies, a russian gangster, incompetent robbers and supposedly Jewish jewelers all fighting to track down a diamond, you know you’re watching a good flick.
Best line in the movie: “Good dags. D’ya like dags?”

Buy Snatch Now

43. Pulp Fiction

An all-star cast brought together by Quentin Tarantino intertwines four tales of violence and redemption featuring two mob hitmen, a boxer, a gangsters wife and a pair of diner bandits. Oh, and the most awesome wallet ever made!
Best line in the movie: “And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.”

Buy Pulp Fiction Now

44. XXX

A tattooed adrenaline junkie gets recruited by the government to be a secret agent. I’m sure that happens everyday. Anyway, he has to save the world or something like that. I was too busy enjoying the high octane thrills and attractive women. Sue me.
Best line in the movie: “You have a bazooka, why don’t you blow some shit up? Stop thinking Prague police and start thinking Sony Playstation!”

Buy XXX Now

45. Rambo

Hey, another movie about an unstable Vietnam war vet who goes crazy! John Rambo is as badass as they come. And remember, they drew first blood. Not him. Unbelievably, Stallone is now in his 60’s and yet he still managed to knock another Rambo movie out!
Best line in the movie: “They drew first blood, not me.”

Buy Rambo Now

46. Indiana Jones

Archaeologist Indiana Jones confronts snakes, Nazis, and goes from one astonishing cliff hanger to the next in this awesome adventure movie.
Best line in the movie: “Give me the whip.”

Buy The Adventures Of Indiana Jones Now

47. Speed

Keanu Reeves has to save a bus full of passengers from certain death when some crazy guy (probably a Vietnam war vet) puts a bomb on it that becomes active at 50mph and explodes if it goes below 50mph. Gritty drama ensues and there is also Sandra Bullock to provide some eye candy!
Best line in the movie: “NO! Poor people are crazy, Jack. I’m eccentric.”

Buy Speed Now

48. Jet Li’s The One

Imagine, if you will, that you existed in multiple alternative universes. If you could get stronger with each alternative self you kill, would you do it? That’s this film in a nutshell. Jet Li has to stop himself from killing….himself. It’s awesome!
Best line in the movie: “I am Yulaw! I am nobody’s bitch! You are mine.”

Buy The One Now

49. True Lies

Action-comedy starring Arnie as the secret agent who uses his intelligence resources to pursue his cheating Mrs. The film features a young (and now rather sexy) Eliza Dushku.
Best line in the movie: “Kids - 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery.”

Buy True Lies Now

50. Lethal Weapon

It doesn’t matter which Lethal Weapon movie you see. Riggs and Murtaugh are cops looking to prevent crime wherever they go. Plenty of witty lines and action and, if I remember correctly, you get to see bare breasts courtesy of Patsy Kensit in Lethal Weapon 2.
Best line in the movie: “Your baby is having my baby. And your baby, woah baby!”

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51. The Empire Strikes Back

Luke Skywalker takes some advanced Jedi training from the short green bloke. Talks weird, he does. While that’s going on Darth Vader is after Luke’s friends as part of a plan to capture Lukey-boy.
Best line in the movie: “No. *I* am your father.”

Buy The Empire Strikes Back Now

52. Fast And The Furious

An undercover cop, a gang of thieves, fast cars and loose women is a combination for greatness. Combine that with Vin Diesel’s muscular performance, and you’ve got a classic guy film. The only down side, of course, is that Paul Walker is the star when he clearly cannot act. At all.
Best line in the movie: “I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters.”

Buy The Fast And The Furious Now

53. Anchorman - The Legend Of Ron Burgundy

Hilarious portrayal of a cocky news anchor by comedy legend, Will Ferrell. Every quote in this film makes me laugh and I find myself reciting them weeks later!
Best line in the movie: “Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.”

Buy Anchorman Now

54. Gladiator

A proper man’s man film about a Roman gladiator. It doesn’t get much more manly than that. The battle for power between the hero and the evil Emperor leads to a final battle - to the death!
Best line in the movie: “My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”

Buy Gladiator Now

55. The Bourne Identity/Supremacy/Ultimatum

Who would have thought Matt Damon had it in him to become a badass? Not I! With car chases (and crashes), awesome fight sequences, some love scenes and some death scenes, The Bourne series is an adrenaline fuelled mammoth of manly enjoyment.
Best line in the movie: “I swear to God, if I even feel somebody behind me, there is no measure to how fast and how hard I will bring this fight to your doorstep.”

Buy The Bourne Trilogy Now

56. Conan The Barbarian

Big Arnie grows from a boy to a man in this loin-cloth wearing epic movie as he fights to avenge the massacre of his tribe. I’m pretty sure Arnold’s breasts aren’t the only ones on show in this movie - so it’s a definite watch!
Best line in the movie: “To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.”

Buy Conan Now

57. Point Break

One of my all time favourite movies. FBI agent Johnny Utah goes undercover with some surfer dudes to foil a bank robbery gang headed up by Dirty Dancing dude Patrick Swayze. Adrenaline fuelled adventure and some nudity courtesy of that broad who starred in Tank Girl.
Best line in the movie: “Listen you snot-nose little shit, I was takin’ shrapnel in Khe Sanh when you were crappin’ in your hands and rubbin’ it on your face.”

Buy Point Break Now

58. Superbad

This film will have you laughing from start to finish without a doubt. Seth and Evan are looking to score before heading off to different colleges and a string of hilarious events seem to be preventing them from doing the deed. I’m laughing just thinking about this movie!
Best line in the movie: “You know when you hear girls say ‘Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn’t have fucked that guy?’ We could be that mistake!”

Buy Superbad Now

59. Mean Machine

A former footballing legend goes to prison and has to train up a team of con’s to play football against the prison guards. The genre has been done before with The Longest Yard, but this film is about proper football which instantly makes it better than any Yank movie. Best parts for me are Jason Statham as the psycho goalie, and Danny Dyer as the idiot who gets picked on constantly!
Best line in the movie: Bob: “He must be ambidextrous, Bob.” Bob: “I don’t know about that, Bob. But he certainly can use both feet.”

60. Gone In 60 Seconds

There isn’t much more manly (and completely illegal, kids) than stealing cars. Now if you ever get into the position to steal a car while getting friendly with Angelina Jolie - I’d advise you to take your opportunity!
Best line in the movie: “Having sex or boosting cars… Um, oo! Uh. How about having sex WHILE boosting cars?”

Buy Gone in 60 Seconds Now

61. Barb Wire (the opening sequence only)

This movie is on the list for one reason and one reason only (okay, you got me, there are two big reasons). Pamela Anderson’s breasts. Watch the opening sequence with intensity and then watch something else. The film is terrible. Her breasts are not.
Best line in the movie: “Don’t call me babe.”

62. Road House

Awesome movie starring Swayze as a bouncer hired to sort out a rough bar. Things get heated with the local bad guy and you can guess the rest. The kicker for me was when Swayze ripped a guys throat out. Literally.
Best line in the movie: “I want you to be nice until it’s time to not be nice.”

63. Cocktail

In a nutshell, this film is about Tom Cruise flinging bottles of vodka and stuff up in the air and catching it. Don’t try it at home though, it’s not as easy as it looks. After getting through £100 worth of Smirnoff bottles, I should know!
Best line in the movie: “You wait till you’ve given them crabs. Then you’ll really know hatred.”

64. Outlaw

If you’re from England you’ll understand the pure hatred of the chav culture and how these vultures of society literally get away with murder. This movie is about a bunch of blokes who decide to take the law into their own hands - something I wish I could do almost daily.
Best line in the movie: “I’m talking about legitimate targets. I’m talking about people that hurt you. I’m talking about fucking violence.”

65. Shaun Of The Dead

A rom-zom-com from the inspired mind of Simon Pegg. This is a story of a man who decided to change his life by winning back his ex, sorting out his relationship with his mum and step-dad and trying to deal with a community of living dead zombies!
Best line in the movie: “Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies? “

66. Hot Fuzz

Another fantastic Pegg/Frost double team which sees two cops trying to make sense out of a series of suspicious accidents in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere!
Best line in the movie: “Is it true that there’s a point on a man’s head where if you shoot it, it will blow up?”

67. Bad Boys (1 and 2)

What can you say about Bad Boys? Action-packed with slices of comedy genius! Proper manly movie with plenty to keep you entertained from start to finish.
Best line in the movie: “We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life.”

68. Ali

Will Smith packed on the pounds to play Cassius Clay aka Muhammad Ali in this biography about the boxing legend. Motormouth Smith is the perfect guy, in my opinion, to play the outspoken sportsman!
Best line in the movie: “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. His hands can’t hit what his eyes can’t see.”

69. Hackers

Another movie for the geeks out there! Jonny Lee Miller makes being a hacker quite cool. Remember all those e-mail addresses and screen names back when this movie came out? Zero Cool and Crash Override etc. This movie is worth it for the simple fact that Angelina Jolie whips her kit off!
Best line in the movie: “God gave men brains larger than dogs’ so they wouldn’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.”

70. Commando

Retired elite commando Big Arnie has to find and rescue his daughter from an exiled dictator in only a few hours! Sound thrilling? It is. One of my all-time favourite movies, bar none.
Best line in the movie: “Let off some steam, Bennett.”

71. Cliffhanger

A mid-air heist goes wrong, leaving suitcases full of money scattered over the Rocky Mountains. Former rescue climber Gabe Walker attempts a rescue on the mountain, not knowing that the people he’s helping are actually the very criminals who stole the money!
Best line in the movie: “I must say, you’re a real piece of shit.”

72. Under Siege

Former Navy Seal Steven Seagal stars as the chef on a US Navy battleship which is taken over by some very bad people. Obviously, in true Seagal style, he proceeds to eliminate them in an attempt to save the day. Worthy of note is the stripper with the large jugs who helps him out.
Best line in the movie: “I’m just a cook.”

73. Old School

Luke Wilson, Vince Vaughn and Will Ferrell are three middle-aged men looking to recapture their youth by starting their own fraternity. As the movie strapline says; all the fun of college, none of the education.
Best line in the movie: “You tell anyone about this and I’ll fucking kill you. I’m kidding, I’m kidding, we’ll have him home by midnight.”

74. Unforgiven

A retired gunslinger from the Old West takes on one last job when a bounty is put on a gang of cowboys who murdered a prostitute. An amazing portrayal of the fine line between being a hero and being a villain. The fact this film won 4 Oscars proves it’s worth the watch!
Best line in the movie: “It’s a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he’s got and all he’s ever gonna have.”

75. Young Guns

A group of young gunmen lead by Billy the Kid become deputies to avenge the murder of the rancher who became their benefactor. But when Billy takes their authority too far, they become the hunted.
Best line in the movie: “You know, Sir, I do admire you, and I sure would like to touch the gun that’s gonna kill Billy the Kid.”

76. Con Air

A recently released ex-con and former US Ranger gets himself trapped in a prisoner transport plane when the other criminals seize control.
Best line in the movie: “Put… the bunny… back… in the box. “

77. 51st State

A kilt-wearing Yank turns up in England to finalise a drug deal with some very bad men. A great film with some brilliant performances from Big Samuel L. Jackson and Robert Carlyle.
Best line in the movie: “You can still go to France, mate, it’s not too far, it’s full of pricks and they hate fucking yanks as well! “

78. American History X

A neo-Nazi is sent to prison for murdering two black guys - and once inside he befriends a black man who makes him realise the error of his ways. Will he be able to save his young brother from following the same path before it’s too late?
Best line in the movie: “I said: Put your mouth on the curb!”

79. Unleashed

Jet Li is raised into behaving like a dog. When the collar comes off, he is unleashed and destroys anyone who gets in his way! When he eventually gets free of fatty Bob Hoskins and his gang, they come looking for their secret weapon.
Best line in the movie: “Like my saint of a mum used to say: Get ‘em young enough and the possibilities are endless.”

80. Face/Off

I love Travolta playing the bad guy - he does it so well! Good and evil swap faces in this flick with both Travolta and Cage delivering sterling performances. Keep your eyes peeled for a young Dominique Swain before she..err..matured!
Best line in the movie: “Well, I’ve gotta go. I’ve got a government job to abuse, and a lonely wife to fuck.”

81. Death Sentence

Imagine seeing your son murdered in front of you by a gang member looking for acceptance. What would you do? If you said shave your head, buy a shot gun and hunt down the people that killed him - then this movie is for you!
Best line in the movie: “Look at you. You look like one of us. Look what I made you become.”

82. Broken Arrow

Another movie with Travolta as the bad guy! This time he’s stealing nuclear warheads from the US Military and Christian Slater is the only bloke that can stop him!
Best line in the movie: “I say god-damn what a rush!”

83. Batman Begins

This is a much darker portrayal of Batman and how Bruce Wayne came to find his alter-ego. Christian Bale is an awesome actor and plays the role fantastically. What’s amazing is how buff he looks considering just 6 months earlier he was playing a dangerously thin looking guy in The Machinist.
Best line in the movie: “It’s not who I am underneath, but what I *do* that defines me.”

84. Payback

Mel Gibson gets shot and left to die by his wife and best friend! Luckily, he survives and plots his payback against the two for betraying him. Awesome film!
Best line in the movie: “Not many people know what their life’s worth is. I do. Seventy grand. That’s what they took from me. And that’s what I was going to get back.”

85. American Psycho

I love this movie! Patrick Bateman is an investment banker with some seriously psychopathic problems! Every line in the movie is quoteworthy and I’d go as far as to say this is in my top 5 movies of all time!
Best line in the movie: “There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable… I simply am not there.”

86. 300

A small Spartan army of 300 men led by King Leonidas leave to fight the Persians at Thermopylae in 480 B.C. Awesome fight scenes and effects and the King is played so well by Gerard Butler than men the world over wanted to look as butch and manly as he does (then he went and ruined it all by doing P.S. I Love You)!
Best line in the movie: “Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty… For tonight, we dine in hell!

87. Sin City

A film with an all-star cast that explores the dark and miserable town Basin City and tells the story of three different people, all caught up in the violent corruption of the city. When a film is based on the graphic novels of Frank Miller, you know it’s going to be good. The highlight for me is Jessica Alba writhing up and down a pole. The film is really great too, though!
Best line in the movie: “I love hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don’t feel bad.”

88. Lucky Number Slevin

A slick gangster flick about a chap called Slevin who gets mistaken for his friend who owes money to two powerful crime bosses. Unlucky, I hear you cry! He must pay his friends debt and with many twists and turns along the way, it’s one hell of a movie.
Best line in the movie: “I suppose I don’t need to say anything as trite and cliched as ‘go to the police and you’re a dead man’.”

89. Kickboxer

Van Damme watches his brother get paralysed for life after fighting a vicious Muay Thai fighter Tong Po. He is (supposedly) a non-fighter at the start of the movie and must learn to kick down palm trees and have coconuts dropped on his stomach from great heights to beat Tong Po in a revenge fight. Really manly stuff, I’m sure you’ll agree!
Best line in the movie: “Just listen. With your mind, your heart, your whole being.”

90. The Wedding Crashers

I’ve always wanted to crash a wedding and live it up like Vince and Owen! Somehow, I don’t think it would work in real life. Nevertheless, this movie is great and there is some fabulous gratuitous boobage at the beginning to get the party started!
Best line in the movie: “Janice, I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don’t like the feeling. You’re sitting there, you’re wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I’m not really interested, should I play like I’m interested but I’m not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she’s not interested? So all of the sudden I’m getting, I’m starting to get interested… And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it’s awkward, it’s like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you’re trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? It’s very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you’re just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called “just the tip”. Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you’re on my hair.”

91. Black Hawk Down

A group of elite U.S. soldiers drop into Somalia to capture two top lieutenants of a renegade warlord and find themselves engaging in battle with a large force of heavily-armed Somalis. This is a war film at it’s best, gents!
Best line in the movie: “Nobody asks to be a hero, it just sometimes turns out that way.”

92. Shanghai Knights

Bit of an odd one, this movie. Sometimes we men just need to laugh and have some wholesome entertainment. Jackie Chan gives us the action, and Owen Wilson gives us the laughs. It’s a perfect combination.
Best line in the movie: “Easy fellas, you lost one war this way, don’t make the same mistake twice. “

93. Enemy At The Gates

Any guy who has ever played Call Of Duty will have heard about the Battle of Stalingrad. In this flick, legendary sniper Vassili Zaitsev plays a game of cat