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Following on from the previous article Five Signs She Doesn’t Like You (And Will Break Your Heart) we can now look at the open gestures which are usually a good indication that she’s interested in you (but is possibly playing hard to get!)

The Five Open Gestures

Gesture 1 – The Butterfly

The butterfly is the gesture she makes after you’ve made eye contact with her across a crowded room. Essentially, the eye contact is a call-to-action. You want to see some sort of reaction from her to show that she is interested or attracted to you. Playing with her hair, adjusting her clothes or jewellery, and fiddling with her straw in her drink are all butterfly reactions. If you get any of these signs, she may well be interested in you.

Gesture 2 – The Palm Reader

Exposed wrists and palms are signs of openness and sincerity which she will present to people she is interested in. Subconsciously, she is saying “If you want me, come and get me”. This is very similar to The Pointer, whereby she will ‘point’ at you with her foot or knee (when her legs are crossed).

Gesture 3 – The Leaning Tower of Love

This gesture can be seen when she leans forward towards you. Her upper body will be facing you if she’s interested. In essence, she will lean forward and point at what she wants. Unlike the tower of Pisa, this gesture means she is not made of stone! (Too cheesy? Maybe..)

Gesture 4 – The Cheshire Cat

This is a bit of a no-brainer. If she smiles at you when you make eye contact, get over there immediately and strike up some conversation. She is very keen.

Gesture 5 – The Midas Touch

If she is touching you a number of times while you are talking, for example, tapping you on the arm when making a point, she is very interested. She’s probably not even playing that hard to get at this point, so go in for the kill!

Obviously, there are many different gestures and signals which show her interest in you, but learning the basics now will allow you to pick up the more complicated signs easily later. Once you understand the science behind body language, the gestures mentioned in this article are common sense and can be applied to many different situations in all aspects of your life.

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Did you know that 55% of the impression we get from someone is communicated through their body language? 38% is from the tone, speed and inflection of their voice, and a tiny 7% is from what they’re actually saying! (This doesn’t mean you can talk about your love of tuna fish all night!)

The topic of body language is a vast subject which would need at least it’s own article to even scratch the surface so, for purposes of brevity, we’ll keep things simple for now.

Reading Her Body Language

Body language consists of two basic types of gestures. Open gestures and closed gestures. In their most basic form, open gestures are displayed when women are either interesting in, and attracted to the person presented to her. Closed gestures are displayed when she is not.

Being able to read these signs and use them to your advantage will not only make you more successful with women, it will also allow you to cut your losses and not waste your time on women who simply aren’t interested. Today we’ll be looking at the closed gestures you will see during your dating life. These are body language signs which mean she doesn’t really like you and will break your heart if you get too attached. I find it best in situations where I see at least two closed gestures being displayed to simply cut my losses and walk away. Remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea!

The Five Closed Body Language Gestures

Gesture 1 – The Roll

If you’ve struck up conversation, and your trying your best lines to impress her, look at her eyes. If she rolls her eyes at the things you say, she is showing embarrassment at your presence and is displaying to everyone else that she’s just not interested. Walk away. You don’t have much of a chance with this girl.

Gesture 2 – The X Zone

If she has her arms crossed, she’s not open to you and what you have to offer her. It’s a tell-tale sign that she is either nervous, uncomfortable, agitated or she simply doesn’t like you. Try changing your strategy and see if her body language becomes more relaxed and open.

Gesture 3 – The Poker Hand

This is when she plays her cards close to her chest (just like a poker player) and doesn’t show you her wrists, palms or the inside of her arms. She’s very guarded and doesn’t feel comfortable with you. Change tactic and see if she warms to you, if not then fold your hand (pun intended!).

Gesture 4 – (Reverse) Leaning Tower of Love

If she’s leaning away from you or her posture is stiff, it’s a sure-fire sign that she wants out of the situation and you’re wasting your time. The night is young and there are many women who’d be more receptive to your advances.

Gesture 5 – The Statue

This is kind of a no-brainer, however you wouldn’t believe the number of guys that do not pick up on this gesture! If she’s sitting with her head resting in her hand with downcast eyes she is bored and not interested in anything you have to say. Politely make your excuses and walk away with your head held high.

Obviously, when you’re out in the dating battlefield these gestures are only guidelines and you should follow your gut instinct wherever possible. If you notice her using one of these gestures, don’t panic and run for the door! If her arms and crossed and her back is stiff she might just be cold, or her friends are all hooking up with guys and she feels left out. If you want to talk to her, then go ahead. Be friendly and smile.

I’d suggest using the rule of four here. If she displays four of the five gestures I’ve mentioned then don’t bother. Any less then it’s down to your social skills and charm to turn it around and get her interested in you.

The next time you notice a good looking girl from across the room, make eye contact with her. When she notices you, give her a smile (and maybe a wink!) and get over there to talk to her. The introduction is key when you’re actually engaging with her.

“I can’t believe the way you were checking me out over there like I’m a piece of meat! What’s that all about? I’m Christian, by the way. What’s your name?”

We’ll cover more ground on body language and how to talk to women in later articles, so why not subscribe to our RSS feed so that you don’t miss out?

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Sometimes I’m amazed at the lengths men will go to in order to impress a woman. A woman who probably isn’t even that interested in them to begin with. The first rule to being a man’s man is never to compromise your masculine integrity. I’ve put together 8 simple rules to ensure that this never happens. This is the man’s man code. Live by it.

The 8 Dating Commandments

1. Ask her out only once.

   This rule is golden. Too many men get into the habit of asking a girl out over and over again despite her excuses. These men are blinded by the possibility of sex. In many cases it seems that god gave man a brain and penis, but not enough blood supply for them to both operate at the same time!

   Women are fantastic at playing hard to get, especially in the beginning, so you can expect to encounter this at some point during your dating life. How you react to this will determine if you get the date or not.

   Also, for future reference, if a woman is genuinely interested in you she will make herself available to you. If she says “I can’t make this weekend, but how about next Thursday?” you can be pretty sure she’s interested. If you get any other response, fold your hand and walk away. If you’re really cool about this, she might even change her mind and want a piece of you after all!

2. Aim higher.

   If you’ve ever seen Jude Law in Alfie, you’ll know this already. If you’ve got the confidence and the charm, no one is out of your league. Never lower your standards just to get a date. You may not succeed as often with the more attractive women, but when you do it’s so much hotter and more passionate to be with someone that really turns you on.

   Helpful tip – Place your hands on a hot iron and a second can seem like an hour. Place your hands on a hot woman and an hour can seem like a second. If you aim for a hot babe, be sure you’ve got the lovers skills to keep her coming back for more.

3. Don’t let her walk all over you.

   I used to date a girl who thought it was amusing to try and punch me in the balls! (I’m not even kidding!) At the time I was a shy and reserved kind of guy and I took it for weeks before she finally met someone else and we broke up. A few years later, I met this girl again thinking she might have matured and we could have a good time. She tried to punch me again and I grabbed her wrist. I politely told her to finish her drink because the date was over. For two weeks she was calling and texting me to meet up again. I ignored all her calls and messages.

   Don’t ever be a doormat. Women will get tired of you very quickly and move on. You’re a man, so start acting like one. If she treats you badly, don’t tolerate it. There are plenty of women out there that will appreciate you.

4. Be spontaneous.

   Women don’t like to be taken for granted. If your dating falls into predictable patterns, the first spontaneous act she makes will be to dump you!

   You need to surprise her regularly and keep her on her toes. Play hard to get one minute and then come on strong the next. Break the odd date with her! I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve told a girl I can’t make our date and then had her calling me and texting me to arrange another one.

   A word of warning though – don’t overdo it or she’ll think you’re crazy. Moderation is the key to this technique. Master it and you’ll never be the boring ex boyfriend again!

5. Don’t be overly emotional.

   By all means show your sensitive side from time to time but for the love of God do not become clingy, needy, desperate or excessively jealous!

   Nothing says psycho like a combination of these overly emotional attributes. If you break this rule, the best you can hope for is to be the crazy ex that forced her to change the locks. The worst case scenario is that you end up with a restraining order!

6. Challenge her.

   Women love the thrill of the chase just as much as men. Taking a break from her to hang out with the guys will assert your independence and make you just as much of a challenge to her as she is to you.

   One of my favourite ways to challenge women is to show an interest in someone else. Keeping her on her toes and making her work for it is all part of the game.

7. Go Dutch.

   There’s nothing worse than dating a woman who won’t pay her own way! Feminist groups have campaigned for years to get women equal pay, so it’s about time they starting to splash the cash themselves.

   Essentially, all you’re doing is paying for sex. In which case, you could probably find a much cheaper option elsewhere!

8. Enjoy yourself!

   The most important rule for dating is to enjoy yourself. When I’m out with a girl I don’t worry about how neat my hair is or whether my t-shirt brings out the colour in my eyes. What I’m doing is cracking jokes, flirting and just generally enjoying the time spent with her. Don’t be afraid of rejection and stop walking on egg shells. Be yourself and be confident.

Just have fun.

Another great resource for tips and advice on women as well as quite funny and interesting stories is the Men’s Guide to Women blog. The articles tend to be quite long, but well worth the read.

Next time in The Man’s Man series, we’ll look at the top tips for blowing her mind in the bedroom. You don’t want to miss it! Subscribe to the RSS feed so that you never miss a post.

Image by Audrey M. Lehr

We’ve all been there haven’t we, fellas? You like a girl, you think she’s keen too, but you’re unsure of how to approach the subject and you end up saying nothing. It’s a common scenario that too many young men are finding themselves in when trying to court the fairer sex. We try to over analyse the situation and this only leads to more procrastination.

So What Do You Do?

Stop being a wimp, and start being a man! The beauty of being a man is that we act without first thinking of the consequences. Our greatest weakness is also our greatest strength! Using this mentality, we can break free from the shackles of this dating minefield and instead of thinking about asking women out, we can actually ask women out!

But What If She Says No?

So what if she says no!? Men’s men should have skin thicker than rhino hide. To use another animal analogy, it should be like water off a ducks back. Dating is nothing more than a numbers game. Of course you’re going to get shot down from time to time, but you need to get back on the horse and try again (there I go with the animal analogies again!).

Having the confidence to stroll up to a girl in a bar, not caring whether she lets you buy her a drink or not, instantly makes you more calm and assured. Believe it or not, women can sense that and let me tell you now – they find it an incredible turn-on!

Overcoming Your Dating Fears

It’s okay me telling you to just overcome your fears, but you need to know how to overcome those fears. I’m going to give you the three practical exercises that I found helped me most when I was a shy young man who found it very difficult to speak to women. Using these techniques, I have been able to overcome my fears of approaching random strangers and become a man’s man!

1. Learn how to talk to strangers in the street. Asking someone in the street what the time is could quite possibly be the easiest way ever to talk to a stranger. If they haven’t got a watch, you say thanks anyway and move on to someone else. Once you’ve asked a few people and you’re now fairly certain you know the time you can start to get a little more brave. Make a casual comment about the weather. If they respond, you can take it further and actually have a conversation with them. Another great way to talk to people is when you’re buying something from a store. Make passing comments while you’re being served. I’m forever telling the people that serve me about my day and what I’m doing next. Once you’re confident at talking to people in the street at this level, you wouldn’t believe how much easier it is to talk to them in pubs and clubs.
2. Practice on women you don’t find attractive. Men are not uncomfortable around women they don’t find attractive. Once you’re confident enough to talk to people in the street, move on to the pubs and clubs. Talking to strangers you’re not attracted to is incredibly easy. In fact, I’d say it’s no different to speaking to someone in the street. Socialising usually means meeting up with friends of friends and you get introduced to a lot of nice people who you’re not into. This makes it a perfect opportunity to ask them about their interests, their work and their favourite things. The experience of just talking to more women in a social setting is a massive step towards total self confidence.
3. Actually try to get rejected. Once you’re ready to start talking to women you actually find attractive, here is an amazing tip that can overcome all of your fears. Make getting rejected appear to be a success. Set out to get rejected by 10 women you find attractive the next time you go out. After you face your fear, you’ll find that it’s not actually as bad as you think. When you expect to be rejected, you’re not going to be disappointed. As your fears begin to subside, you’ll even be rewarded with the occasional “yes”.

My advice to you is to go out there and start talking to people today. Once you find yourself talking to strangers with no embarrassment or fear, you’ll find it extremely liberating.

I’d love to hear some success stories from your experiences of talking to strangers so, please, post a comment and tell us who you spoke to, what was said, and what the outcome was.

In next weeks Mans’ Man Guide To Dating, we’ll be exploring the 8 simple rules to follow when you finally get the date you’ve been looking for.

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