"No alcohol" policies at the beach can be such cruel paradoxes. I mean, what is the point of being sober on the beach? People say they need to "work on their tan," but it's really not work at all, but rather a just sort of laying there. And if there's one thing that alcohol can do, it's help you just lay there. 

Sooooo...

Beachgoers find themselves having to adopt a sort of black-ops, ninja-style approach to clandestine beach drinking, and it's not for the faint of heart. So rather than venture out on your own, we've got for you a guide, courtesy of Virgin Mobile, which, as is clear from this post, really, really wants you to enjoy yourself at the beach, sober or...otherwise. 

To the experienced beachgoer, or the experienced drinker, a few of these might seem like old hat, but I have to admit I found the cup-within-a-cup approach to be pretty effective and hilarious. For extra security, you could go cup-within-a-cup-within-a-cup, but going any further down the rabbit hole with that one would probably leave you with a very, very small cup. 

1.jpeg

For more crucial tips on how to live your life off the grid, under the radar, and just generally out from the watchful eye of the man, get familiar with their Facebook page right...(wait for it)...here. 

Because without tips like this, you'd have to result to much more drastic approaches, like swigging whiskey while keeping three trained German shepards on a leash, and that would not only violate beach alcohol policies, but possibly dog policies as well. 

Let's keep the criminal activity to the bare minimum, guys. And you can do better than this dude. 

4-580x434.jpeg