Often the hardest part of finding a date online is that awkward initial message. What do you say to not sound like a creep? How do you say it to not sound boring? The folks OkCupid analyzed half a million first contacts on their dating site to see what works.
The biggest finding was to avoid netspeak. Bad grammar and abbreviations like ur, u, wat, wont were the single biggest turnoffs for message recipients. The only exceptions were haha and lol, which turned out to be quite good for the sender.
Avoid physical compliments right off the bat. Just like in real life, if you start out immediately calling someone you have never met sexy, it’s a turn-off. More general compliments that don’t focus on her appearance – like cool, fascinating and awesome work much better.
Avoid generic greetings like hi and hello. That signals immediately that you have no imagination. Greetings like how’s it going work better.
Don’t try to take it outside. Offer to chat or giving your email address at first contact is a definite turn off. One of the things online dating has going for it is its relative anonymity, so don’t push things too soon.
To read all of the tips, check out OkCupid’s blog.
photo credit: mborowick
Fri, Sep 18, 2009
Dating & Sex