This came as such a shock that I didn't even learn about it till 8 PM PST last night, so forgive us for being a day late. It's not like it's election results or anything, so a day here or there for the birthday of a celebrity who hasn't really created anything worthwhile since 1992 isn't the end of the world. 

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That aside, wow. Axl is 50 years old? That's how old I imagined Elton John being when I was a kid, so that means that Axl is like Elton John to a fictitious 10 year-old version of myself. I wonder how he's going to celebrate and/or cope? The notion of Axl Rose, (lead singer of seminal defunct rock band Guns 'n Roses for you youngsters out there) going through a midlife crisis is a pretty tricky concept to grasp. 

Will he go big game hunting in Africa? Will he join the whole street-racing phenomenon, never mind that he's a decade late for that one? Perhaps he'll just grow old gracefully and move in across the street from Slash and routinely fire a BB gun at him. That's probably what I would do. 

Beyond that, I don't know what to say, other than the first rock star that I felt belonged to my generation is now 50. For those keeping score at home, Kurt Cobain would be 45 in two weeks, Eddie Vedder just turned 47, and Chad Kroeger is 37. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hit myself in the head with a bat while listening to Odd Future.