Last night's 'Mad Men' featured one of the most monumentally wussy fights in the history of television between the exceedingly obnoxious Pete Campbell and the exceedingly British Lane Pryce. No one really won the fight because they both looked like ninnies, but it did make us (or me, anyway), long for a good, bloody showdown. The kind you will only find in the movies (or maybe HBO). 

So, with that in mind, here's a far-from-exhaustive list of the best beatings in film (and television). 

Irreversible

This French film offers no shortage of disturbing moments, playing out in a non-linear sequence. Monica Bellucci gets raped in a painful shot that doesn't move or track for what feels like an eternity, but even that is easy to stomach when compared to the last scene, when a man looking to avenge her goes after the culprit...with a fire extinguisher. Surely, if you're reading this list, you know you're probably in for some violent clips, and out of context, it's not quite as bad, but...don't say you weren't warned. 

Fight Club

Duh. There are two scenes that could be picked for the list: Tyler Durden allowing Lou, the bar owner to kick the shit out of him, and Ed Norton's nameless narrator beating the holy hell out of Jared Leto's Angel. Of course, I'm giving it to Norton, because the scene (and sound) is far more gruesome, but also who wouldn't want to just beat the hell out of Jared Leto? 

Pan's Labyrinth

You'll see that quite a few of these films don't come from America, which is odd, because I thought we were all supposed to cherish violence while holding antiquated outlooks on sex and nudity. Whatever. Here's a Spanish film from Guillermo del Toro that features one of the most vile characters in the history of film. He's an officer in the Spanish fascist government that goes around killing insurgents with absolutely no remorse. In this scene, he just bludgeons some dude to death with the bottom of a bottle. Once again, the sound is what really sells this scene as horrific. 

Drive

While this film may leave more conventional action fans wanting, it certainly tides audiences over with a savage stomping scene that takes place in an elevator. Who says that Ryan Gosling doesn't have a tough side? Oh, that's right. Everyone says that. Well, Drive may not have the most graphic scene of those listed here, but it's plenty shocking and disturbing when juxtaposed with the romantic make-out session that precedes it. 

There Will Be Blood

I find that unecessary violence isn't all that shocking or compelling. Sure, there are probably action movies that show some pretty intense beatings, but when it's part-and-parcel with the character depicted, it tends to affect me a lot more. In this film, Daniel Plainview is a man seething with anger in just about every facet of his life, so when he finally catches up with a broke and destitute Eli, rather than carry any compassion, he beats him to death with a bowling pin. Then that's it. The movie just sorta ends. Best of luck in your future endeavors, Mr. Plainview.