Image by locke15
When someone mentions the name Chuck Norris, what is the first thing you think? If you’re anything like me you’re thinking how much of a legendary bad-ass he is! And with good reason too. The bloke is a martial artist and a Hollywood action star. He’s reached iconic status for his tough guy image. So let’s look at what makes the man, born Carlos Ray Norris, so manly.
What makes Chuck Norris so manly?
- His childhood was tough. He was bullied by kids at school, his old man was a heavy drinker and he was unathletic and shy! You can tell a lot about the strength and character of a person by the childhood they had. Chuck learned very early on that if you want to get ahead you need to be fit, strong and avoid the sauce.
- He’s got a black belt in Tang Soo Do. Getting a black belt in the Orient is a sign of manliness indeed. Chuck went to Korea a boy and came back a man. Research suggests that his rise to manliness was accelerated through the complex carbohydrates found in Korean rice.
- He was in the Air Force. Being a patriot is manliness personified. Risking life and limb for your country is a testament to the courage and bravery of the man. Also, wearing the Air Force uniform drives the ladies wild. Hell any uniform to be fair!
- He held the Professional Middleweight Karate Champion title for 6 consecutive years. He stumbled in his first two fights - which he lost - but he then went on to become a bad-ass fighter. The title he held was the non-contact title. He was unable to compete in full-contact martial arts for fear that he may kick his opponents head clean off their shoulders with his legendary roundhouse kick. His final martial arts record was 65 wins and just 6 losses (all of which he avenged with a fatal roundhouse kick)
- He became a prominent Hollywood star in a plethora of action movies. Leading men in action movies are manly. Fact. You need to command an audience and display strength and reliability. Chuck had these attributes and more. Rumour has it that on the set of Way/Return Of The Dragon, he actually taught a cleaner on set the basic martial arts moves needed to make fight scenes look authentic. The studio later hired the cleaner to play the starring role in the movie. His name was Bruce Lee.
- He is a very family-oriented man. His adult sons still hug and kiss him goodbye. A proper man’s man should love his family and treasure them above all else. This is one of the truest displays of manliness, in my opinion.
- He invented his own martial art. Chun Kuk Do is a martial art created by Norris which combines the basic principles of Tang Soo Do with elements of every other art he knows. How effin’ manly is that?
If that little list of manly treasures wasn’t enough for you, then listen to this. Chun Kuk Do includes a code of honour and rules that Chuck himself lives by:
- I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways. Like a Royal Marines commando, Chuck strives to always achieve more and do more. A true man understands that he is never complete. There is always room for growth.
- I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements. One of the most important tests in a man’s life is coping with mistakes. Chuck aims to put them behind him and learn from them.
- I will continually work at developing love, happiness and loyalty in my family. Once again, his love for his family is shown to have great importance.
- I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile. Compassion for other people is a rare trait in todays world. Modern men should try to renew the values of the past and treat others as they would like to be treated themselves.
- If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing. A lot of men tarnish the reputation of an entire gender through arrogance, aggressiveness and impoliteness. Silence is golden.
- I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own. Jealousy is very unbecoming for any man and, if nothing else, should be avoided simply because it turns women off!
- I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness. Keeping an open mind can lead to greater personal development and growth. It might also get you that threesome with your girlfriends hot new room mate too!
- I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times. Respect is a two way street. If you give respect, you will receive it.
- I will always remain loyal to God, my country, family and my friends. While you may not believe in God, you should have something or someone to believe in and remain loyal to. Our beliefs give us reason to achieve our goals.
- I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country and myself. Nobody wants to coast through life with no goals or aims. Keeping your goals at the forefront of your mind will make it all the more satisfying when you achieve them.
That’s a pretty manly code of conduct right there. Even chivalrous knights would struggle to match that! So, do you need more proof that Chuck is the most manly man alive? Okay, then lets look at the competition.
The challengers to Chuck Norris’ Most Manly Man Alive award
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Why he is a rival: He won 5 Mr. Universe and 7 Mr. Olympia titles. He also compared working out to ejaculating which is quite possible the most manly analogy in the history of men!
Why he doesn’t beat Chuck: Any man that dons a thong, rubs ridiculously dark fake tan all over their body and then proceeds to pose on stage is not deserving of the Most Manly Man award.
Mr. T
Why he is a rival: He was a soldier, a bouncer, a bodyguard, a WWF/E wrestler, a martial arts student and an (almost) professional NFL footballer. He donned a mohawk and more jewelry than an entire Tiffany’s store!
Why he doesn’t beat Chuck: Chuck would never play a character who is afraid to fly! What a sissy!
Sylvester Stallone
Why he is a rival: The underdog story of Rocky Balboa is one of the most inspirational and motivating movies ever made; men the world over became more masculine simply through listening to the theme tune!
Why he doesn’t beat Chuck: Stallone has to inject testosterone. Chuck Norris IS testosterone.
What do you think? Could Vin Diesel take on Chuck Norris? How about Jackie Chan or Jason Statham? Can anybody be more manly than Chuck Norris? If you think so, drop a message in the comments and let us know your thoughts. Before you post, just remember: Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
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March 12th, 2008 at 2:01 pm