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People That Have Partied Harder Than Charlie Sheen: Elton John
While many know him now as that garishly-dressed piano guy that your aunt is so fond of (basically an older Josh Groban), there was a day when Sir Elton could have gone toe-to-toe with Ozzy, Tommy Lee, and John Belushi when it came to drugs. He first started doing coke in 1974, and by his own account he was doing a line every 2-3 minutes once he really got going. Yikes. If you put a drop of coffee on his tongue after that, would he explode?
John recently told Larry King-replacement Piers Morgan that, at his worst, he would “I would have an epileptic seizure and turn blue, and people would find me on the floor and put me to bed, and then 40 minutes later I'd be snorting another line.” Sounds like a really nice time, Elton. I’m glad you were able to enjoy yourself in the 70’s. Nowadays, John is using his partying powers for good, not evil, helping Eminem kick the habit as recently as last year.
As for the sexual exploits, I shudder to think about what Elton John’s were. I decided to spare myself (and you, dear reader) the filthy details, but something tells me that John would have put Charlie Sheen to shame there, too. I could imagine elephants, a whole Cirque de Soleil travelling circus, and probably like 15 or 16 lumberjacks. Kinda makes Chuck Sheen seem like a Boy Scout now, right?
That makes me wish that the Boy Scouts gave out merit badges for partying. Both Elton and Charlie would have beautiful sashes.