With all this bin Laden hoopla, we may have overlooked the most important news item of the day (though it may be a week or so old). Sauna pants exist. 

sauna-pants.jpg

I've always wanted a pair of pants that you have to plug in. I have attached an extension cord to some khakis that I own, but that's just for show. These bitches can heat up to 160 degrees farenheit, which causes the listed side effect of weight loss. I'm no doctor, but I believe trying to achieve weight loss by heating your body is probably not sustainable, nor is it "safe." 

Since using these things for weight loss is highly questionable, that begs the question "What are these pants for?" I'm honestly content not knowing. I think they are for people whose groins aren't most enough. Like you. And you. And you. This is a great gift for the dry-crotched man or woman that has everything. 

By the time you finish reading this sentence, these shorts will be the best-selling item in SkyMall