10 Situations Where Texting Makes You Look Like A Douche
Over the past 10 years, texting has taken on a life of its own, having entered the public consciousness with a vengeance and not let go. However, with the rise of texting comes the introduction of a whole new type of etiquette and manners, and as we’ve seen with email and cell phones before, it can take a mad minute to get everyone on the same page.
Well, Virgin Mobile has decided to help you with that, and we at Just A Guy Thing have offered to weigh in as well. The fine folks a Virgin Mobile have decided to waive their conflict of interest and let you know when and where it’s not okay to lock eyes with your phone to the exclusion of the rest of the outside world. Click here for their take on the scenario, and just keep on reading for ours. When you see an item that pops up on both lists, take it as a really strong hint that you should probably knock it off.
So while standards differ from person to person, there remain quite a few situations that avoid the “grey area” and just make any violator look like a complete and total douchebag.
Note: If you read one of these scenarios and think to yourself, “Hey! There’s nothing wrong with that!” it might be time to entertain the notion that you are a douchebag.
Don’t shoot the messenger(s).
1. In Movies
Besides the fact that it means that you’re paying for a film that you’re not watching, which is annoying to people in its own right, warranted or not. However, what’s simply beyond excusable is taking a bright device in a dark room where people are trying to focus. It’s comparable to taking a bright flashlight and shining it in people’s eyes. Go to the lobby if you need to text or talk. There isn’t much room for discussion here.
The purpose of a date is to spend more time with the other person, to get to know them, and possibly enjoy their company. All of these objectives are pretty damn difficult if you spend any amount of time with your head down texting or playing games. It’s bad if you’re a girl, and it’s bad if you’re a guy.
If there’s something so pressing that you need to be in contact during your date (especially if it’s one of the first few dates with someone), then kindly cancel it. You’ll be looked at in a lot better light if you are honest than if you come across as an immature jerk that can’t step away from your phone for 33 seconds to get to know someone.
3. Sporting Events
At ballgames and the like, the issue isn’t really with bothering the people around you, as it is in movie theaters – live sporting events are generally pretty chaotic to begin with – but rather just looking like a needy baby that spent $100’s of dollars on tickets, then buries their head in their phone. Justin Bieber appeared this way recently at a basketball game while his girlfriend was standing up and cheering. Kind of emasculating, Beebs. Lift your head up and watch the game.
Looking like at douche if you’re texting and driving should be one of the least of your concerns. It’s really, really, really dangerous. We’ve all tried it. If you look down at your phone to focus on a message, you literally have NO idea what’s going on in front of you, and you pull your head up, only to be surprised in what lies ahead of you. You know what I’m talking about.
To call people who text while driving “douches” is a bit of an understatement, much like calling drunk drivers “douches.” It’s a bad dangerous habit that certainly does reflect poorly on the perpetrator.
5. At The Gym
There’s just something unwholesome about mixing exercising and cell phones. Sure, it’s not nearly as egregious as some of the other entries on this list, but the fact remains that someone who can’t get away from their phone to exercise probably can’t get away from their phone in a lot of other instances either.
It’s nice to look popular, and nice to look important, but when you’re plodding away on an elliptical machine with a tiny black device 18 inches from your eyes, you look like whatever the opposite of an athlete is.
An indoor kid. You look like and indoor kid.
Somewhere, in some far off land, possibly Westeros, there exists some person who can walk and text at the same time without making every other pedestrian and car’s life a living hell. But I have never met this person. Everyone I’ve met that tries to walk and text ends up walking into lampposts, strollers, cars, and doors.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s pretty damn entertaining to watch, but you don’t look like a person that can run their own life when you can’t safely walk down street. And that’s douchey.
7. When You’re Fake Texting
You think we can’t tell, but we can tell. When you run into someone you don’t know, when you are laughing out loud at your phone screen in an effort to appear popular and carefree. You’re not NEARLY as good an actor as you think you are.
Let’s also not forget the all time best fake-texting move: Walking down the street, realizing you’re walking the wrong way, then instead of just turning around, checking your phone as if you got some magical text that says, “TURN AROUND!” then taking off in the other direction. Classic and hilarious.
8. The Second Your Plane Touches Down
Whatever it is, it can wait. You’re not that important. No, really. You’re not.
I’m probably more guilty of this faux pas than any other one on the list. I hop to my phone like a loved one was undergoing surgery while I was in the air. If you text now, or in a few minutes, or at the baggage claim, your life won’t be materially different.
And don’t forget to use caution when opening the overhead bins. The contents may have shifted during flight.
9. While Rollerblading
Ok. This speaks more to how douche-y one can look while Rollerblading than it does about one’s phone habits, but it’s still to be avoid at all costs. Doing anything while Rollberblading instantly pulls your “cool” card, and texting with friends, family, or even the President of the United States of America is no exception.
Just don’t Rollerblade.
10. Basically, While Doing Anything With Other People
I understand that it’s probably going to become perfectly socially acceptable to text during funerals, weddings, home invasions, and the like, but we’re not there yet. If there’s a group of people around, try interacting with them face to face. You’ll be able to text all your other friends when you’re home on your couch. It might very well be the case that texting doesn’t become some cut-rate substitute for human interaction, but a completely valid substitute in its own right, but, as I said, we’re not their yet.
Texting with company is a way of saying that there’s someone else who’s not around who captures your attention a little more. That may not be a hard and fast rule, but it’s a guideline.
Just use the manners your parents taught you and you should be fine.