After over a week of frantic e-mails being sent to us entering our first ever competition, we have finally drawn a winner from more than two thousand entrants…

Big congratulations to John Jarvie who was picked at random as the competition winner. In addition to answering the question correctly, John also had this to say about sandal wearers:

No, it’s never okay (to wear socks with sandals). In fact, I want to run up and “do a Rambo” on anyone I see doing it.

John, you will receive your prizes shortly you violent, violent man.

To everyone who didn’t win today, fear not; we will be running a number of competitions in the following weeks so subscribe to our feed and keep your eyes peeled for competition questions.

This is an original post from Just A Guy Thing

JAGT Competition Winner

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As a by-product of continuing emasculation, the modern man has found himself yearning the company of men. Often for one man in particular. Welcome to the man crush.

In days gone by, men could do things. Things like fixing the car themselves and changing the oil, fishing, owning a shed full of tools and being able to build things from scratch with a few bits of scrap wood, a hammer and some nails. If we needed further proof that our lives have been emasculated we only need to look at the No More Nails product. Now it probably does get the job done just as well as nails, but it’s not manly unless you’re banging nails in at the wrong angle with your hammer.

Modern man is a pale, disheveled shadow of his former self and it’s our distinct lack of a male compass that leads us into man crushes.

What is a man crush?

A man crush isn’t technically a crush in the traditional sexual sense of the word. It’s more like looking to men with certain skills and talents as our leaders. To teach us their ways. Whether it’s the guy with the well paid job, the man who always gets the girls or even the guy with a cool sense of fashion and style.

Often you’ll find yourself making excuses to your girlfriend in a desperate attempt to spend another Saturday night with him rather than her. It boils down to projecting who you can’t be – or things you can’t do – onto other men.

Take The Fonz from Happy Days for example. Richie, Potsie and Ralph all looked up to him. Three total geeks seeking guidance. They wanted to be The Fonz. Let’s face it, who didn’t? He rode motorbikes, was a tough guy and got all the ladies. The fact that he was an unemployed mechanic who lived in a garage and spent most of his time hanging out with teenage boys is irrelevant. The primeval urge to bond with and look up to men manifests itself in their complete devotion to this alpha male.

It’s a simple fact that when not trying to get into some hot girls pants, men will always prefer to hang around with other men.

Do I have a man crush?

Now there are probably men reading this who think that, although they know other men that they like and enjoy spending time with, the terms ‘bromance’ and ‘man crush’ are a little bit of an over-exaggeration. Well, picture this scenario:

You’ve just been asked out on a date by a gorgeous blonde woman when you bump into George Clooney. George invites you to a poker game at his house. The Oceans 11/12/13 guys will be there and no women are allowed. Which would you choose?

It’s an absolute no-brainer. Welcome to the world of man-crushes my emasculated friend.

If you’ve got a man crush on someone, famous or otherwise, and aren’t afraid to admit it then drop us a comment and let us know why you admire this person so.

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Are You Man Enough For A Bromance?

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Those kind folks over at the Bruno Jamais restaurant in New York and luxury Parisian Skincare line Sothys have donated some prizes which we’ll be giving away to one lucky JAGT reader.

The Prizes

• A $50 gift certificate to be redeemed at the Bruno Jamais restaurant in NYC.
  

  Bruno Jamais Restaurant Club brings the French Riviera to the upper east side. Where else can one dine in style until 3am with delectable cuisine such as Lobster Brulee and Foie Gras? The service and décor are equally impressive. The restaurant received the “Best Interior Design” award by Hospitality Design Magazine. Now, for the first time in the restaurant’s four history, Bruno Jamais is open on Sunday nights for dinner, dancing and drinks with a reduced priced menu served from 6pm through 2am. In addition, there is also live entertainment. On a cold winter’s night, allow debonair owner Bruno Jamais to make you feel at home and beat the doldrums of winter. With Chef John Keller at the kitchen’s helm the cuisine is sure to delight even the most discerning palates. Bruno Jamais and John Keller have created a unique menu that has an Asian influence without losing its French integrity. Bruno Jamais is also the perfect place to book your private party and can accommodate up to 200 diners for a buffet dinner or 70 people for a sit down dinner. For those upper east siders who are tired of trekking downtime for a evening of fun, this exclusive venue has it all. If you are looking to see stars, celebrity patrons have included: Billy Baldwin, Joan Rivers, Cindy Adams, Chazz Palminteri and even former President Bill Clinton. Reservations are suggested and chic attire is requested.

• A range of mens skincare products courtesy of Sothys.

  
  

  Detoxifying Active Cleanser:
  A foam-based facial cleanser that gently yet effectively rinses away impurities while preparing skin for shaving. Also ideal for use in place of shaving cream, this soft, pH-balanced cleanser effectively fights against the skin-harming effects of hard water.

  Hydrating Active Care:
  A hydrating and protective gel-fluid that works to restore skin’s hydrolipidic layer and fight against damaging consequences of daily shaving. Intensely fresh in texture and non-sticky, this concentrated product leaves skin silky soft and shine-free.

  Age Defying Active Care:
  An anti-aging gel-cream that acts on several layers of the skin to help visibly reduce existing wrinkles, slow the formation of new lines and restore skin after shaving. Absorbs quickly without a greasy after-feel.

  Soothing After Shave Balm
  A soothing balm with phytomalt, birch and polyphenols of mint leaves that repairs and calms razor burns caused by shaving. The skin immediately feels soothed and fresh, less irritated.

  Mattifying T-Zone Fluid
  A rapid penetrating fluid for an “anti-shine” effect. Perfect for oily areas of the face. Contains a “sebo-regulating” complex that provides an astringent and absorbing effect. Mattifies and soothes.

  Energizing Hair & Body Care
  For all skin types, this 2-in-1 hair and body product is an invigorating wash and gentle cleanser. Contains d-panthenol and silicones to ensure the good health of the hair and to add brilliance; also contains phytomalt.

How to enter

To enter, all you need to do is subscribe to our feed and keep a look out for a simple question in the feed footer. Once you know the answer to the question: e-mail it to hey@justaguything.com.

A winner will be selected at random from all the correct answers received on April 15th. Oh, you might as well stay subscribed too because we’ve got more fantastic prizes coming up in the next few months that you won’t want to miss!

This is an original post from Just A Guy Thing

The First Just A Guy Thing Competition

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Using science as an excuse to get tanked on booze has always been a dream of ours at the JAGT HQ, which is why writing this article was all the more satisfying. The thesis is simple; get drunk seven times and for each hangover, try a different ‘cure’ and report back on its effectiveness.

Our subject is a 25 year old male who has experienced some decline in his ability to recover quickly from a hangover. Let’s see what Wikipedia says he has to look forward to:

A hangover is associated with a variety of symptoms that may include dehydration, fatigue, headache, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, weakness, elevated body temperature, hypersalivation, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, irritability, sensitivity to light and noise, erratic motor functions, and trouble sleeping. Many people will also be repulsed by the thought or taste of alcohol during a hangover. The symptoms vary from person to person, and occasion to occasion, usually beginning several hours after drinking.

Looking at the extensive list of hangover symptoms only makes our relationship with beer all the more bittersweet. Let’s get stuck into the experiment and see how our subject got on.

Hangover Cure #1 - The hair of the dog

Image by szczur

The Myth

The colloquial English phrase “the hair of the dog that bit you” actually suggests alcohol itself as a form of treatment for a hangover. Scientifically, there is evidence that a hangover is not only the body removing toxins but also the body’s reaction to withdrawal of alcohol.

The Reality

“After a heavy night drinking, I wake up with a splitting headache and smelling like Robert Downey Jr. before rehab. The thought of drinking more alcohol is unbearable as the nausea sets in. Grudgingly, I crack open a bottle of Budweiser and sit, shaking, in my underwear as I sip the golden nectar in the interests of science. After 30 minutes I start to feel a lot better. Out comes another bottle and this one goes down a lot smoother than before. It’s not even 9am yet and temptation has me craving a third bottle of beer. I resist, and although I feel pretty good now it’s only a matter of time before the familiar symptoms creep back to ruin my day.”

The Conclusion

After trying the hair of the dog, our subject reported that he actually began to feel better. His headache subsided and the feeling of nausea passed. Unfortunately, once he’d finished drinking the symptoms came back just as strongly in the afternoon. By drinking a couple of beers he had merely delayed the inevitable. Now, if he had mixed himself a Bloody Mary, it might have been a different story.

Hangover Cure #2 - A big greasy breakfast

Image by markscott

The Myth

Here in England, ask anyone what the best hangover cure is and it’s very likely that they’ll say, “A big greasy fry up.” A fry up, also known as a Full English Breakfast is a traditionally cooked meal which is served in the morning and will include most of the following:

• Toast or fried bread
• Fried bacon
• Fried egg
• Sausages
• Fried or tinned tomatoes
• Fried mushrooms
• Baked beans
• Hash browns
• HP brown sauce and/or ketchup

While not exactly good for your heart, it is said that a full English can “soak up the alcohol”.

The Reality

“My head feels like I’ve been in a train wreck and to say my stomach is a little delicate would be an understatement. I don’t really feel like eating but the smell of the fried egg and bacon gets me salivating and my taste buds are on red alert. I apply a liberal amount of HP brown sauce to my bacon, sausage, eggs, baked beans, hash browns and tinned tomatoes and get stuck in like I haven’t eaten in weeks! To cap off a fantastic breakfast I wash the food down with a strong cup of tea. Half an hour after the breakfast, my nausea has all but vanished. My head, while still throbbing, doesn’t pound anywhere near as much as it did before I ate and any lethargy I felt when waking up has been replaced by a sudden surge of energy.”

The Conclusion

A pretty good result for this cure. The headache didn’t completely disappear but it subsided, along with nausea and laziness! Perhaps the Full English Breakfast really does soak up alcohol after all?

Hangover Cure #3 - Exercise

Image by formationofme

The Myth

There is no denying that a workout makes you feel good. The endorphins are flowing, you clear your mind and your blood pumps through your veins. But is this a good idea after a heavy drinking session? Science states that exercise after a night on the tiles helps the heart pump blood around the body and increases the amount of oxygen in your body too. This, supposedly, flushes the impure toxins of the booze out of your system.

The Reality

“After arriving at the gym, I spend about ten minutes at the water cooler trying not to be sick psyching myself up. With plenty of water to hand, I finally get on and start at a light, steady pace. Surprisingly, my stamina is actually better than usual. I’m sweating like a nun in a cucumber patch but enjoying every second of the workout! After 30 minutes of moderate jogging I decide to call it a day. The walk home is borderline euphoric. If only I’d known that working out after a skinful was this rewarding; I would be built like a Greek god by now. A few hours after the gym however, my head is pounding and I feel exhausted and weak. My euphoric high has now been replaced with a depressive low. So much for the gym being the answer to my alcoholic prayers.”

The Conclusion

Working out seems to be a short term solution to the problem, but is the immense high of working out when you’re already dehydrated worth the physical risks and the manic low experienced by our test subject? Our verdict: no.

Hangover Cure #4 - Drinking water

Image by positivelypurple

The Myth

Although technically a prevention rather than a remedy, drinking water before going to bed is the most common way to prevent a hangover from occurring. The science behind this is simple; excessive drinking leaves your body dehydrated. Replenishing your body by drinking water is the logical way to counteract this. Let’s see if it worked.

The Reality

“After ten pints and a couple of shots, I stumble home in a drunken stupor. I almost head straight for bed before I remember there is something I’m supposed to do. What the hell is it? Oh yes, I need to drink lots and lots of water. I grab my ‘Worlds Greatest Lover’ pint glass and fill it with water. Somehow a pool of water appears on the floor too. Never mind, the girlfriend will sort that out. I refill three times and force the non-alcoholic liquid down my throat. I feel bloated and sleepy. I burp quickly before heading to bed. The next morning I wake up at 9am and lie there for a moment. No nausea, no lethargy, a very slight headache but nothing I can’t handle. ‘It’s a miracle!’ I proclaim as I get out of bed. Oh no….dizziness sets in and I lose my balance and bounce against the wardrobe door. It passes quickly but now the headache is more noticeable. I don’t feel terrible, but I don’t feel great either.”

The Conclusion

There is no questioning that drinking plenty of water both during, and after, your drinking session will be of great benefit the morning after. Our subject suffered slight dizziness and lack of balance, but after ten pints and a few shots, this is actually quite a good result.

Hangover Cure #5 - Over the counter hangover pills

Image by thomasthomas

The Myth

Over the counter dietary supplement RU-21 contains the active ingredient succinic acid, an extract of amber. The penis enlargement internet marketers have jumped on the bandwagon and now tout the pill as a miracle cure for alcohol hangovers. Supposedly developed by Soviet scientists for the KGB, this ‘wonder drug’ apparently metabolizes the alcohol in your body. Urban legend says that it was intended for use by KGB spies to drink heavily with suspected Western spies so that they could remain sober and potentially obtain secrets from their drunken counterparts. When that didn’t work, tests showed it could lessen a hangover. Let’s see.

The Reality

“I had decided beforehand that to fully test this pill I’d need to drink more alcohol than I had ever drunk in my life before. Heading to the local watering hole I started gradually with a couple of bottles of Corona and lime. Then I downed two pints of Carling lager before my mate came over and challenged me to pick up the pace. Necking a double vodka and coke I summoned the barman to provide me with two shots of tequila and a beer to wash it down. Amidst this I was popping the odd ‘dietary pill’ and drawing concerned looks from the locals. Stepping up a gear I drank, in quick succession, a depth charge, two shots of some disgusting apple liquid, an Aftershock and a Southern Comfort and coke. I finished the evening off with a bottle of Bud and a shot of absinthe. (I remember everything I drunk because I wrote it down, thankfully) The next morning I woke up feeling like I’d been hit in the face by a sledgehammer and proceeded to be ‘violently ill’ in the bathroom. This experiment was an absolute disaster and I would gladly accept death to stop the pain.”

The Conclusion

Upon further research, it is documented that the pill “is not for binge drinkers”. It apparently works best when drinking in moderation. Call us cynical but isn’t that the kind of drinking that means you barely even get a hangover, thus ensuring that the drug can never be discounted as a placebo, created by a charlatan to take money from the unsuspecting public?

Hangover Cure #6 - Back To The Future Wake-Up Juice

Image by pmarella

The Myth

In Back To The Future: Part 3, Doc Brown gets smashed on whiskey after losing the love of his life. Mad Dog Tannen is on his way to six-shoot Marty and the Doc to an early grave and the lovable scientist has passed out at the bar. The bar tender Chester puts together an antidote to alcohol called wake-up juice. The BTTF wiki claims this juice includes tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, chili peppers, onion, and mustard seed. We bought and blended the ingredients to test out on our unsuspecting subject.

The Reality

“‘What’s in it?’ I ask gingerly as I walk into the kitchen nursing the hangover from hell. My tormentor just smiles and hits level 3 on the blender. My head reacts badly and I wince at the sound of the blades liquidizing the blood-red concoction. After what seems like an eternity I’m handed a half-pint glass of the most disgusting looking drink I have ever seen in my life. I feel like a prisoner of war as I’m instructed to neck the whole thing in one go. I take a deep breath and fling my head back, gulping down the cocktail of god-knows-what. At first I feel nothing. But then, from the bottom of my throat up and into my mouth and my lips, all I feel is heat. I’m burning from the inside with a very distinct bitter taste. I reach for the tap but nothing comes out They cut the taps to ensure the experiment goes as planned! I gag and heave and after what seems like an eternity I prepare myself for the humiliation of vomiting on the kitchen floor, just as the taps come back on and I engulf my head in water, lapping at the faucet like a dog after a long walk. Thirty minutes later and the headache still pounds through my skill, my stomach is more volatile than ever and my lips still tingle with the hint of tabasco sauce. I’m never drinking again.”

The conclusion

It seems that with all their millions of dollars, Hollywood can put together some fantastic sets, amazing visual effects and some great guy movies, but they can’t create a cure for a hangover.

Hangover Cure #7 - Vomiting

Image by alphababy

The Myth

Another prevention which is supposed to be done prior to sleeping, vomiting has been the hangover prevention of choice for frat boys for decades now. The science says that vomiting is the bodies natural way of getting rid of toxins quickly. Oh, there is also the slight risk of dehydration and electrolyte imbalances. Nevertheless, we sent our intrepid subject out to vomit in the name of science.

The Reality

“After a marathon drinking session which started at the local pub, I began my quest to have a drink (or two) in each bar leading into town - a mile long stretch in total - before arriving at a nightclub ten pints later for some serious drinking. Cue shots of vodka, whiskey, tequila, ouzo, absinthe and Aftershock - all in the name of science. I don’t remember getting home, but what I do remember is being wrapped around the toilet for the better part of the night. I awoke in the morning to find myself sleeping on the floor next to the bed. I ached but my head felt fine. My stomach felt pretty solid and I had a big bacon sandwich and cup of coffee to pick me up. I was feeling great with the only downside being my lack of desire to do anything. I lay in bed playing XBox and nothing short of a natural disaster was going to get me out of my underpants. Of course, I’d rather feel bad than have to clean up the festering mess that still exists in and around the toilet bowl!”

The Conclusion

Being sick after a heavy session seems to greatly reduce the effects of a hangover the next morning. It doesn’t reduce the lethargy though and the health risks of regularly making yourself sick means that we recommend leaving self-induced vomiting to Nicole Ritchie and the Olsen twins.

The final hangover summary

Of the seven remedies trialled by our resident guinea pig, we asked him to choose the most effective cure for a hangover. His answer: A Full English Breakfast. Now, after all this science mumbo-jumbo we’re gonna head off and get a few beers, while eating….a full english breakfast. In the meantime, drop your best hangover remedies in the comments. We can’t live without the booze, so we might as well share ways to enjoy all of the positives while reducing the negatives. Cheers.

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The 7 Day Quest For The Perfect Hangover Cure

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Facebook finally gets manly with the introduction of the Just A Guy Thing Facebook Application. Now you can display all of our latest posts on your profile for all your friends to see. Add the application now and spread the word.

We’ve also set up a Just A Guy Thing Facebook Group so all you strapping blokes out there join up today. Got a new movie you want to tell us about? Review it. Found a new undiscovered hottie through endless Google Image searches? Show us. Want to find out how to do anything and everything? Ask us. We openly encourage camaraderie and discussion about breasts, beer and sports so get posting!

Now, you’ll also want to stick around for a while as we have some fantastic competitions launching shortly, starting with a great one for all you guys in New York. Subscribe to our feed now so you don’t miss out on the prizes.

With all the shameless self-promotion over with, let’s get stuck in to a much needed link recap:

• Some simple tips to mastering the art of calling in sick.
• Here’s the top ten ways to succeed with any woman you like.
• For all you booze lovers out there, check out the Ardmore Traditional Cask, the great Scotch vs. Bourbon debate and the TrackPack beer drinkers back pack.
• Have a laugh at these 7 really stupid video game concepts.
• And finally Gisele Bundchen’s ass and the stunning Venezuelan model Ainett Stephens.

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Most people reading this will know what Digg is. Just A Guy Thing has achieved a considerable amount of growth due to articles reaching the front page of the behemoth social media site. It’s fair to say that we appreciate Digg and the community for allowing our site to grow at such an impressive rate. That said, Digg really needs to man up. Soon.

It was brought to our attention a while back that another guy related site, The Art Of Manliness, was struggling to gain traction on Digg after a number of successful front pages. As I write this at the moment, they have an article on Digg which has been Dugg over 50 times. The article should be on the upcoming list for it’s given category but it’s nowhere to be found.

We have also experienced this phenomenon with our last few articles receiving enough votes to be, at the very least, at the top of the upcoming list for their categories. These articles were submitted by some of the so-called power users with a high rate of success for submissions hitting the homepage. So what is the problem?

The dreaded Digg auto-bury function

It has long been rumored that the almighty Digg have an internal bury list that effectively removes any chance of a site being promoted to the home page. Once you’re on this list, no amount of Diggs, praying to God or Kevin Rose will make the article popular.

A number of other high-profile sites such as CopyBlogger have also found themselves on this list. Of course, there are ways to beat the auto-bury algorithm, but in reality is it worth the effort to game them? Brian Clark said it best in his subtly titled article, Ding Dong Digg Is Dead:

Ironically, I was buried by success. In September, my content made the Digg front page six times, with three articles making it in a single week. After that, it became obvious that Kevin Rose and his in-house nerd brigade couldn’t tolerate quality content making the Digg home page that frequently.

It’s true that all things come to an end, but the reality is that Digg is effectively censoring content based on their own opinions. Both Just A Guy Thing and The Art Of Manliness reached a much bigger audience than they normally would which, for the most part, received the content very well. Of course you’ll get the trolls complaining about how “you can’t learn to be a man by reading an article online” but both sites received many constructive comments and a great deal of subscribers as a result.

So a site that becomes popular is instantly banned, despite the fact that the banned site could in fact produce high-quality articles on a regular basis? Time to man up, Mr Rose.

Now, we’re pretty laid-back and easy going guys here at Just A Guy Thing. We enjoy camaraderie with our fellow men and, occasionally, we might lay a bit of advice their way. Here are two vital pieces of advice to all those strapping blokes over at Digg HQ (including Kevin Rose).

How Kevin Rose and the Digg staff can man themselves up

1. Well first of all, you guys can have the backbone and the balls to admit there is an auto-bury list blocking sites from reaching your audience. We asked Patrick Altoft from the SEO consulting site BlogStorm about his opinion on the matter and he had this to say:
   

   I think that they should at the very least admit that there is an auto bury list, even if they don’t publicly name the sites that are on it. Digg is assuming a Google like stance regarding the algorithm and that’s fine but they use human editing to decide which sites to exclude.

   Using a closed human edited system is totally against the Digg ethos and is something that the wider community should be made aware of.

   Precisely. If Digg intends to hand edit their site then the community should know. If a site can be denied the opportunity to reach the front page, then logic would suggest that the system can also be manipulated so that certain sites or submissions from certain people go popular. Like this, for example:

   




101% Popular Ratio. Really?

2. Release some bury data, fellas. As Michael Gray says:
   

   The Digg administration will continue to hide behind the guise of user moderated democracy, however with lack of voting transparency (yes buries are votes and need to be transparent) what we really have is an oligarchy ochlocracy of web 2.0 knoblemen.

   Although Kevin Rose will continue to pass off the excuse that they don’t release bury information “For the same reason that we don’t expose all of our back-end methodologies for the Digg promotional algorithm, we also don’t expose the details of how the burying algorithm works.” we all know that is B.S, Kev. You publicly display the articles that members Digg and anyone visiting the site can see what stories a particular member submitted, Dugg, or commented on. Does this mean that everyone knows the hidden workings of your promotion algorithm? Nope. Man up and release the information already.

Now don’t think that we are merely bashing Digg because our content is blacklisted by the über-nerd created auto bury list. We’re man enough to accept our fate and move on from it. We will continue to use Digg as a source of inspiration, entertainment and amusement. Our only aim is to show Digg that honesty, integrity and openness are manly virtues that they should adopt immediately before they alienate the very people that helped get them to where they are today. And that message is one that can never be buried.

If you’ve got a few ideas about how Digg can man themselves to improve their user experience, or you just want to bash them openly for banning your site and depriving you of hundreds of thousands of visitors, then please drop your thoughts in the comments below.

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Summer is fast approaching us and there is a terrifying possibility looming over you: you might have to take your t-shirt off to reveal a full years worth of paunch to a beach packed with sexy babes and ripped-like-Jesus gym rats. Kids will cry. Women will stare. Men will laugh.

There are, however, a number of extreme (and mostly stupid) fad diets to help you to shift your flab in double quick time. We’ve gone through untested, occasionally illegal and often life-threatening methods for weight loss and we’re presenting six of our favorites.

Extremely Stupid Fad Diet #1 - The Lemonade Diet

Image by little english

The recipe

• Lemon juice
• Cayenne pepper
• Maple syrup
• Water

The diet history

The lemonade diet was brought into the mainstream by a certain Miss Beyonce Knowles, who wanted to take some junk out of her trunk before filming the flick Dream Girls. Originally named The Master Cleanser Diet, it was created in 1941 by Stanley Burroughs, a health therapist once charged with second-degree murder after a patient died from one of his treatments. The diet eliminate toxins and congestion that have built up in the body and, because you don’t get a complete source of macro-nutrients, it is actually consider fasting rather than a diet.

Does it work?

Well, Beyonce lost 22lbs in 14 days on the diet and a whole host of celebs and normal everyday folk report good results with the diet. The only downsides are feeling lethargic, depressed, lacking focus, dizziness, nausea and the possibility of death. So, good short term weight loss, but the possibility of death makes this a bit of a risk.

Extremely Stupid Fad Diet #2 - The Raw Food Diet

Image by bryanbope

The recipe

• Errr, raw food…

The diet history

The raw food diet has been promoted by new-age hippie types since the early 1900’s. If you have to cook it over 116°F, you can’t eat it. The raw food evangelists claim that the diet predates the discovery of fire, so it’s natural for the human body.

Does it work?

Personal development guru Steve Pavlina conducted a Raw Food Diet Trial throughout January. He lost 8lbs during the month and 1.8% body fat so the diet definitely works. Be prepared for incredibly dry, cracked and itchy skin, odd-colored poop, extreme boredom and any number of the following symptoms; bad breath, chills, headaches, daytime drowsiness, mental fogginess, concentration problems, low libido, and an unstable yo-yoing of your alertness and emotional states. That said, after the initial adaptation phase, Steve indicated that he felt consistently good on this diet and improved his muscular endurance and his mental focus as a result.

Extremely Stupid Fad Diet #3 - The Backwards Diet

The recipe

• Eat dinner for breakfast
• Regular meal for lunch
• Eat breakfast for dinner

The diet history

Florida porker Tricia Cunningham lost about 170lbs by creating her own ‘reverse’ diet. Like the old adage says, “Eat like a king in the morning, a prince at lunch and a pauper at dinner.”

Does it work?

Well big Tricia went from just under 300lbs to just over 100lbs so it’s fair to say the diet works. Research shows no negative side effects to speak of, but it is definitely one of the hardest diets to stick to due to the complete change of lifestyle and eating habits required to do it. We’re men, and we want a damn steak on the table, cooked rare with some fries, onion rings and maybe a bit of salad to make the whole thing look nice for our dinner. Even though we won’t eat it.

Extremely Stupid Fad Diet #4 - The Stone Age Diet

Image by eyeball jello mold

The recipe

• Lean meat
• Fish
• Vegetables
• Nuts

The diet history

The hunter-gather, paleolithic style diet was first popularized in the mid 1970s by a gastroenterologist named Walter L. Voegtlin. Basically, if you can shoot it, catch it or unearth it from a bush, plant or tree, you can eat it. That means bread, wine, beer, milk, grains and beans are out.

Does it work?

Writer Jimmy Lee Shreeve wrote an article for The Independent last year detailing how the paleolithic diet helped him shift his middle-age spread. If you look at the foods you eat on the diet, it’s no surprise. Lean meat, oily fish and a lot of vegetable and fruits. No sugary crap and processed junk to slow you down. In short, it’s a great diet for high priority weight loss but you’ll need a purpose such as getting ready to look good on the beach. Otherwise, the monotony and self-enforced restraint will destroy your soul. And your will to live.

Extremely Stupid Fad Diet #5 - The Russian Air Force Diet

Image by Heaven’s Gate (John)

The recipe

• No bread
• No pasta
• No rice

The diet history

The Atkins Diet meets Rocky IV with this diet developed in the former Soviet Union to keep soldiers fit during the cold war. There is a huge emphasis on cutting carbs rather than a complete shift in eating habits and lifestyle change.

Does it work?

Like many diets which can be tailored to provide an appropriate number of calories, you will lose weight. Unfortunately, once you finish the diet, you’ll probably pack it all on again because you haven’t changed your habits. The low-carb aspect means you’ll be low on energy and you will be sick to death of mustard (the only condiment you’re allowed) by the end. Also, the excessive use of eggs in the diet means that your farts will inevitably be more deadly than an entire Soviet army.

Extremely Stupid Fad Diet #6 - The Sex Diet

Image by zhao_jing08

The recipe

• A lot of sex. 8 time a week, on average.

The diet history

A horny fat chick called Kerry McCloskey lost 23lbs bouncing up and down on her husband eight times a week. Technically, it’s not a diet as there are no set foods to eat. Kerry reckons that the diet encourages better nutrition and, since you burn about 200 calories in a 30-minute sex session, it’s an effective way to shift excess blubber. You can also target problem areas by turning basic exercises into foreplay. Moves like the ‘love squat’, for example.

Does it work?

Kerry got some good results from it, but to be honest, we’re pretty skeptical about this ‘diet’. While 30 minutes of exercise every day will no doubt have health benefits; allowing you to eat junk day and night makes this diet a bit of a failure. Any weight loss you do have can probably be written off to ejaculate.

Have you subjected yourself to a painstaking diet with numerous negative side effects in the pursuit of attaining a male model physique? If so, let us know in the comments.

This is an original post from Just A Guy Thing

Extreme(ly) Stupid Man Diets: Get Thin Or Die Trying

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It’s no secret that we love movies here at Just A Guy Thing. We like horror movies, generic guy films and guy flicks we haven’t seen before. However, we’ve never actually chosen a movie based solely on the level of profanity it contains. For a start, how would we know which movies were the most effin’ foul-mouthed? Well, those wonderful folks over at Kids In Mind have done just that, and a whole lot more too.

The site seeks to advise adults about a movies suitability for children, and it’s pretty damn comprehensive. What we love about Kids In Mind is that they pass no judgment on the nudity, profanity and violence that each reviewer bears witness to. Each category achieves a mark of out 10 and it covers everything from Dunstan Checks In (”Sexual innuendo; a towel-clad woman moans pleasurably while being massaged.”) to the one movie that scored a perfect 10 in each category, 70’s slasher, Halloween.

The level of detail is fantastic. Take Team America: World Police - “62 F-words and its derivatives, 12 sexual references, 9 scatological terms, 59 anatomical terms, 14 mild obscenities, 14 derogatory terms for homosexuals (some are in an ongoing play on words referring to the Film Actors Guild as F.A.G.), 1 derogatory term for African-Americans, 6 religious profanities, 15 religious exclamations (1 in French with no translation).” Somebody had to take the time to count and compile these facts. That’s comprehensive.

Only two movies had a level of swear words so high that the reviewers literally couldn’t count them all - comedy Fear Of A Black Hat (”F-words galore and other profanities, from the opening credits to the end, nonstop”) and the bare-breasted Madonna flick Dangerous Game (”Counting the F-words will force the viewer to miss the film. There is also a full range of scatological and anatomical terms”).

Here are a selection of the most foul-mouthed films in movie history (minus the two that couldn’t be counted).

Summer Of Sam

This New York serial-killer flick from Spike Lee is a furious foul-mouthed frenzy of expletives with a tally of “about 400 f-words” and a few homosexual and racial insults.

Buy Summer Of Sam

Alpha Dog

Ignoring the fact that the geek from The Girl Next Door got cast as a drugs dealer, Alpha Dog contains “310 f-words and it’s derivatives”. Pretty fu*king impressive, considering the movie was a total let down.

Buy Alpha Dog

Running Scared

Guns, corrupt cops and a bag full of 267 f-words sounds like a recipe for success. That is, until you cast Paul Walker as the lead actor. There were also 4 derogatory terms for homosexuals - all of which were directed at Paul Walker by the cast and crew on the set.

Buy Running Scared

Pulp Fiction

Pulp Fiction very nearly reached a perfect 10 across all categories, narrowly missing out in the sex stakes. (Although that gay rape scene would have pushed it to a 10 if we were reviewing it!) The swear count weighs in at about 250 f-words but they don’t specify whether it includes Samuel L Jackson’s wallet…

Buy Pulp Fiction

State Property 2

Never seen it? Us neither. But it does boast an impressive 248 of our four-lettered friends and you can’t really argue with mobsters, can you?

Buy State Property 2

The Big Lebowski

After brazenly missing this movie off our 100 Movies Every Guy Must See list, we’re happy to finally include the Coen brothers cult classic. About 240 f-words in this flick, most of them booming from the vocal chords of John Goodman’s character, Walter. (”Shut the fu*k up, Donny!”)

Buy The Big Lebowski

Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back

Although 228 f-words is pretty good going, if Silent Bob had pulled his effin’ weight, this lewd parody from the mind of Kevin Smith would have managed a whole lot more profanity. Shame, really.

Buy Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back

The Departed

Chalk up 226 f-words and its derivatives for the legendary Martin Scorcese. He also makes sure that ‘acoustically-impaired’ viewers don’t miss out by including six obscene hand gestures. What a gentleman.

Buy The Departed

Do you have a sweartastic movie favorite that isn’t listed here? Drop your recommendation in the comments, you fu*king *&#$.

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Holy S*#t: The Most Sweartastic Movies Ever Made

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Do you fancy winning any of the following prizes:

- Birdhouse skate deck signed by Tony Hawk
- Poster signed by Tony Hawk
- Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground (Xbox 360 game)
- Quiksilver Gear: t-shirt, sweatshirt and hat
- Electric sunglasses
- Gift certificate for pair of Adio shoes

All you need to do is head over to ShredOrDie, find/upload your favorite videos related to skate, surf, snow, BMX or moto and send the video link to editor@teamcoed.com using the subject ‘ShredOrDie Giveaway‘.

Check it out over at COEDMagazine

In other linkworthy news:

A Quick Guide To Alternative Fuels for those of you looking to reduce your carbon footprint.

If you’ve got a favorite actress-wearing-a-bikini movie moment, you can vote for your champion.

Have you ever wanted to get rid of that clip on bow tie and tie a proper bow tie like a man? She Knows Best has the video tutorial you need.

NASA finds the brightest object in the universe - and it’s not the mind of Paris Hilton, surprisingly.

Chain-saw Magic Trick video

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As any popular man-about-town will tell you, there is a fine art to bar hopping that can be the difference between social stardom and social suicide. That being said, if you spend too much time worrying about the ‘Golden Rules’ of bar hopping then you’ll most likely lose the fun factor of actually going out and mingling in the first place. This article isn’t intended to ensure you follow each rule religiously. Instead, we’ve compiled a set of guidelines that can help to make your evening a success. So go out, have fun, socialize, drink, be merry and live your life to the fullest using our Man-About-Town Guide To Effective Bar Hopping.

Organization and Transport

Image by Miro-Foto

Okay, we’ll get the boring bit over with right off the bat because most people don’t really care about how they’re getting to the club or where they’re meeting their friends. However, I’ve seen many a good night ruined because of poor planning ahead of the event. At the very least you need to know where your friends are going to be. Arranging a time and place before going out is essential because once you’re in a bar and it’s loud and crowded, your friends might not hear their phone going off. Before you know it you’re spending half the night going to different bars and clubs trying to find them. Once you do, you’ve already lost the party mood and the night is wasted.

You might also want to arrange car sharing or splitting the cost of a taxi between as many friends as possible. Not only do you get to have fun and games while you’re heading out to the bars, you’ll also save valuable beer money by cutting the costs. This is all fairly common sense but you would be surprised how many people don’t plan ahead and end up having a terrible time as a result. I’m not saying you need to prepare a full-on social tactical mission, but a few minutes calling your friends can make all the difference.

You’re going to need to stay connected to the guys throughout the night as well, so use text messages to communicate if you ever get lost. I’ll never forget the time I was looking for my friend in a crowded club and he got me on a 3G video call while he was ‘getting acquainted’ with a girl in the toilets. Absolutely legendary.

Choose the cheapest place first

Image by Penningtron

Whatever town or city or country you’re partying in, there is always at least one bar with cheap alcohol on offer. This should be your first point of call to start the evening with a bang. Getting merry here will save you a fortune later, especially if you’re going to a nightclub where they charge extortionate amounts for bottled water let alone your triple-JD and coke. This is the ideal place for you to buy the rounds (if you and your friends do the rounds thing) because it will be cheaper than at venues later in the evening.

You can also take this time to catch up with your friends on their day and generally just have a good time while inebriating yourself. Later, when you might well be looking to court a young woman - you can be confident that you won’t offend your friends by leaving them to their own devices.

How to get the barman’s attention

Image by Will Ellis

One of the best skills in your arsenal is being able to get the barman’s attention quickly at an overcrowded bar. I’ve seen friends of mine ignored for up to 10 minutes while trying to get just one drink for themselves. If you’re female it seems so much easier because leaning forward to show just a hint of ample cleavage is enough for most red-blooded barmen to be over like a shot. For the guys, it’s a little more difficult.

Leaning forward while holding your money in a prominent position seems to work well. It signifies your intent to buy and many bartenders will acknowledge that. Another way is to become friendly with the bartenders outside of peak times. Perhaps visit a few bars earlier in the evening for a few weeks and get to know them on a name-to-name basis. You could also tip them like a gentleman after the first round, encouraging them to be more prompt with their service next time you get the drinks in.

Play drinking games to get the party started

Image by Tessa Farrell

There’s nothing like a good drinking game to liven up the mood and atmosphere to have a great night. Sure, you could sit around and talk while drinking and you’d still have a bit of fun and get drunk - but wouldn’t you prefer the challenge of a competitive drinking game? How much would you give to be the only Centurion standing (the only guy to drink 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes without puking/peeing)?

Drinking games add variety to any evening and, since you’ll get pretty drunk, tend to make it a whole lot more entertaining. As always though, alcohol is best consumed responsibly. [Had to put that disclaimer out there, just in case.]

Always dance like a man

Image by The Consumerist

The problem with bar hopping is that with the power of alcohol comes great responsibility. The responsibility that you owe yourself to not dance like this guy:

Now if you’ve got the moves then by all means use them. Personally, I tend to favor the Will Smith á la Hitch school of dancing. Sidestepping left and right with minimal movement, keeping to the rhythm of the music. Of course once alcohol has lubricated my joints, my hips become possessed and I look like Shakira in a hurricane, so I obviously try to downplay my dancing as much as possible.

Choose spots with a favorable Girl:Guy ratio

Image by Will Ellis

Whoever coined the expression ‘bros before hoes’ obviously didn’t have a snowball in hells chance of getting some. You’ll want to pick a bar/club with a favorable girl to guy ratio. As a friend of mine so eloquently put it, “Nobody wants to bar hop with a sausage fest of dudes!”

Once you pick a decent place and you’ve got good odds you can start to make a beeline for the ladies. Ideally, you’d want to hook up with a similar size group to you and your friends and have a good old merry time together. If you do pair off with a broad be sure to make her laugh and she’ll love you for it. If you’re out to get incredibly drunk with your friends however, get her number and get back to your pals. You don’t want to be dribbling all over her in a drunken stupor later in the evening because that will just about ruin your chances of getting anywhere with her.

Handling bouncers

Image by Abulic Monkey

Bouncers can be the bane of your life if you let them. The majority of doormen I’ve met are ego-driven men on a serious power trip. The best way to deal with them is to remain polite and friendly with them as much as possible. These guys are practically looking for an excuse to give you a good kicking. If, for some reason, you get refused entry to the club - just be calm and collected and leave with your head held high. (Take a few hot women from the queue with you if you can)

I’ve often found that befriending bouncers in the same kind of way as befriending a bartender can help you to get preferential treatment too. I’ve regularly found myself jumping the queue and sometimes even land an entry to the VIP section. I did it by tipping a couple of bouncers and then striking up a conversation with them about how often they get tips and what time they are working till etc. Once I’m on first name terms with a bouncer, it’s much easier to swan up to them and be like “Hey Chuck” while walking straight past the queue of 10 people waiting to get in.

The pre-gaming ritual

Image by Ted Percival

Pre-gaming can be as much fun as, if not more so, than going out itself. It involves a group of friends meeting up earlier in the day to drink, be merry and enjoy some quality male bonding before you head off the the club. You buy-in large quantities of alcohol for low prices and proceed to get plastered at a fraction of the cost of drinks in a bar. It’s the perfect warm up.

A personal favorite for me and my friends is to put on an action movie and for every gunshot, explosion and fight scene - you take a shot of your chosen poison. It’s fun, entertaining, and it can get you totally wrecked in no time at all. The only bad pre-gaming experience I had was when a few of the guys made a bet with my friend Rob. All he had to do was neck a pint of vodka and his drinks would be bought for him all evening. He did the bet and seemed fine….until we got outside and the fresh air hit him. He didn’t make it out with us that night but it did made for a pretty great pre-gaming story!

Always carry enough cash

Image by dyobmit

Not all bars and clubs allow you to paid by card and sometimes, you can be in the middle of nowhere which means no ATM either. You’ll need to carry some cash in your wallet for buying rounds and getting into clubs too. In fact, I often take out the amount of cash I want to spend that evening and then leave all bank cards at home. Like most men, when I get drunk I can sometimes throw caution to the wind and buy a round for everyone, including the porn star I’ve just met and the entire cast of Shaving Ryan’s Privates.

You also need to be careful that you don’t flaunt your money around because there are always unscrupulous people out there who will be looking to take advantage of your drunken state.

Always dress to impress

Although many bars allow you to get in wearing a hoodie and sneakers, that’s not going to win any style awards is it? I always dress up and take care with my appearance because you never know where the evening will take you. Always wear shoes because if you do end up going to a club, you often won’t get in with sneakers on.

What else? A smart and fashionable shirt tends to work well with jeans and shoes for a smart casual look. Novelty shirts are never acceptable by my standards, but you can if you’d like wear one to a house party. Never, ever at a bar though.

Don’t get too drunk to function

Image by Pile Of Photos

A lot of guys seem to get thrown out of bars for ungentlemanly behavior. Whether it’s passing out at the bar, puking up in the urinals or copping a feel of the gorgeous blonde in the miniskirt; alcohol makes us do some crazy stuff! The fact is that if you overdo the boozing you could end up on the receiving end of a drunken shaming. Something no self respecting bachelor wants floating around on YouTube:

I remember one occasion when I was incredibly drunk and for some reason decided I wanted to get another drink. At the bar this attractive looking girl was all over me and hitting on me. She was grabbing my butt, kissing my neck and stroking my thigh. I thought the night was going to have a happy ending until I came to pay for the drink I’d ordered. My wallet was gone and so was the object of my affections. She’d stolen my wallet from my pocket right under my drunken nose!

Nobody wants to be the idiot with an Abe Lincoln beard on YouTube or to get their wallet stolen by a hot kleptomaniac, do they?

Leave a message in the comments with any tips or advice you have for becoming a bar-hopping messiah and if you’ve got any good drunken shaming stories/videos/pictures then feel free to share them too.

This is an original post from Just A Guy Thing

The Man About Town Guide To Effective Bar Hopping

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With March going at the speed of a school boy indulging in his very first porno, it’s almost time to start looking forward to the sun, sand and….well I think you get the idea. The wonderful chaps at COED Magazine have put together an easy-on-the-eyes photo gallery of what you can expect from Spring Break 2008.

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For the ladies reading, here’s a link for you. The most disturbing sex toys money can buy.

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Top o’ the mornin’ to ya, folks. St Patrick’s Day is nearly here and the good men over at Asylum have put together a pot o’ gold collection of paddy inspired articles for you to enjoy. Check out the links below for shamrocks, shenanigans and other links you might find interesting.

• Vote for your favorite Irish lass
• Do you know about the weirdest St Patrick’s Day traditions?
• If you need an excuse to get drunk, just follow these in the footsteps of these world-famous drunks
• Unless you want your other half to leave you for a younger model, you might want to ‘affair-proof’ your marriage today
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• If you’ve ever wondered on the proper etiquette for tipping a stripper, then wonder no more!
• If you’ve got a lolly fetish, check out these supposedly delicious guy candy

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Image by kelsey e.

Mainstream sport can be pretty tame. Although there are some big hits in American football, the players have more padding than a teenage girl in a training bra. In Europe, soccer players will collapse to the floor in apparent agony at the slightest hint of physical contact. Here at Just A Guy Thing, we like to see sports that challenge men to push themselves beyond the mental, emotional, and physical boundaries of these rather soft sporting occasions.

With this in mind we have scoured the four corners of the globe to find our favorite manly sports that will literally kick your ass. (Technically, some of these are not actually sports but the headline 5 Manly Physical Activities That Will Seriously Kick Your Ass just doesn’t have the same ring to it.)

#5 Sepik War Canoe Racing in Papua New Guinea

What is it?

Exactly what it says. Competitors have to race 14km upstream while standing in a canoe in the finale to the War Canoe & Kundu Festival. In terms of flow, the Sepik River is one of the largest in the world, just to make it a bit more challenging.

Why is it so manly?

Forget for a second about the crocodiles and other dangerous creatures lurking in the river and focus on the race itself. Have you ever tried standing up in a canoe? It’s not as easy as it looks to keep your balance! Add that to the fact that you’ve then got to row yourself almost 9 miles against a very strong current and you’re looking at a very grueling afternoons work ahead of you. To complete the race you’ll need balance, stamina and the mental strength to continue when you really don’t want to.

#4 Nguni Stick Fighting in South Africa

What is it?

This is a martial art practiced by young men in South Africa. Combatants are armed with two long sticks. One is used for defending blows and the other is used to whack your opponent without mercy until they bleed or give up from the pain.

Why is it so manly?

Didn’t you hear what we just said? You hit your opponent with unrelenting fury until they either bleed in copious amounts or give up due to the extreme pain of being repeatedly battered across the shins with a long stick. The Zulu guys are hardcore. They wear no armor or protective padding. They are also looking to develop this into a recognized martial art with rules and competitions so look out for an Nguni stick fighting school near you soon.

#3 Laamb Wrestling in Senegal

What is it?

It’s a Senegalese martial art that combines orthodox wrestling with bare-knuckle boxing. Traditionally, young men fought to prove their manliness, court the ladies and bring honor to their village. Nowadays, they fight for money.

Why is it so manly?

Well, aside from the funny dancing the competitors perform prior to the fight, it’s a true display of strength and courage. You have to beat your opponent down so that both knees or his back are touching the ground. This is done by punching them constantly with bare-knuckles and then flinging them around like a rag doll in the hands of a devilish 6 year-old girl. Proper macho mano-a-mano alpha male type shenanigans.

#2 Self-Transcendence 3,100 Mile Race in Jamaica

What is it?

Well it’s a 3,100 mile race around a track in Queens, Jamaica of course. What were you expecting from that title?

Why is it so manly?

Strictly speaking, it could be womanly too - seeing as more than one woman has completed the course. Regardless, it’s manly because runners must complete 5,649 laps of a .5488 of a mile course in a mere 51 days. That equates to about 61 miles a day, every day, for almost two months. You’ll need tremendous courage, physical stamina, concentration and the capacity to endure fatigue and boredom. You might also need to rest your feet for a while before going back to your 9-to-5.

#1 The Tough Guy Survival Course in England

What is it?

It’s an endurance race based just 30 minutes from our HQ (that we had never heard of until researching for this article) that involves an eight-mile cross country run before being faced with an obstacle course requiring ‘the athletes‘ to crawl under barbed wire, run over burning bales of hay, swim in underwater tunnels full of icy water and negotiate their way through underground pipes.

Why is it so manly?

You mean besides the regular broken legs and bouts of hypothermia? Well, according to the Tough Guy organizer Billy Wilson, there is no other one day survival course as grueling as his. The closest, he says, is the Navy S.E.A.L’s ‘Grinder’ Assault Course but even that pales in comparison to the Tough Guy circuit. Don’t believe it? Check out the website and decide for yourself.

If you’ve uncovered a sport or physical activity more brutal than these then please let us know in the comments. We enjoy nothing more than seeing grown men beating each other to death or weeping from exhaustion and dehydration. Sadistic, we know.

This is an original post from Just A Guy Thing

5 Manly Sports That Will Seriously Kick Your Ass

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Image by Cayusa

How did you learn about the finer points of sex? Maybe you watched that awkward sex education video that was filmed a good 20 years before your time and made sex out to be a clinical and methodical process. Some schools had in-class demonstrations of your 60-something teacher delicately peeling a condom down over a banana like some giant, yellow (and slightly curved) penis. The mere thought of that image alone is enough to remain celibate and move to a monastery in Tibet for the rest of your life! Other people found out about sex by getting stuck in to a good old fumble session in the drama studio during a free period. Whatever your story, it’s likely you had the talk from your old man at some point as well.

Talking about sex can be uncomfortable, particularly for a dad with his teenage son. A sex ed talk from your father usually consists of the following:

• Wear a condom.
• Treat the girl with respect.
• Don’t rush her.
• Save yourself for the right girl.

Of course, none of this prepares us for the harsh reality of a proper sexual encounter. Our fathers have failed us in our pursuit for sexual enlightenment. With this in mind, I present to you The 10 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Sex (But Really Should Have).

#10 - Sex Fetishes

Image by lowfreq

I really wish my father had told me what a fetish was before I started having sex. The first time a woman asked me if I was into “Formicophilia” I thought she was speaking Italian to me. It turns out she got a real sexual kick out of having bugs, insects and creepy crawlies all over her genitals and wanted to share this delightful experience with me. Apparently fetishes are a normal variation of human sexuality which range from vanilla to just plain weird. I don’t mind a bit of biting and spanking every now and again but I draw the line at inviting cockroaches to the party. Make sure you know a bit about fetishes before engaging in sex because nobody wants to find out their girlfriend has a scat fetish after the fact.

#9 - It’s not like a porno movie

Image by sneet

Imagine my surprise when, after years of watching Jenna Jameson bounce up and down on multiple guys and screaming with pleasure, I finally lost my virginity to a shy little red head with a freckled face, glasses and braces on her teeth. I thought sex would be all about screaming, dirty orgasms and filthy talk. Not only that, I thought that every seemingly innocent situation could be initiated into impromptu sex. If my friends mum offered me a cup of tea while we waited for him to get home from work, I thought she might jump my bones any second. Alas, it never happened. As for the red head, it was less like a speeding train and more like a brisk walk. Sex is nothing like it appears in porn. (unless you happen to be dating a porn star)

#8 - Pace yourself

Image by karigaile

As a knock-on effect of the porn delusions I suffered from, I thought that going at it hammer-and-tongs for long periods of time was the norm. Those porn stars could last forever and so I was utterly disappointed when my encounter with the shy red head lasted a mere 2 minutes before I rolled over and fell asleep. If you’ve never heard the story of the tortoise and the hare, I’m sure it related to sex. Women want a stallion who can last the distance and although sometimes a quickie can be just as fun, nobody wants it to be over before it’s even begun.

#7 - Headaches are no excuse not to have sex

Image by mareen

At 21, my girlfriend of the time regularly used to tell me she wasn’t in the mood for a bit of nookie because she ‘had a headache’. New evidence has come to light though which says that the female orgasm releases endorphins (a natural painkiller). This means that sex is a headache cure. I’d go as far as to use this to try and have sex with your girlfriend for any number of ailments. Broken leg? Sex can ease your pain, baby. Your (hot)friend has a broken heart? I’ll give her an orgasm to make her feel better. Genital herpes? Er…you’re on your own there, darling.

#6 - Threesomes are not as common as you think

Image by willradik

A combination of porn and ‘true story’ articles in Maxim and FHM had me growing up thinking that a threesome was a natural part of everyday life and would happen regularly. After losing a couple of girlfriends through requests for their big-bosomed friend to join us for a session, I began to lose faith. Some people claim that “Ménage á trois” is actually French for “In your dreams”. While I’m sure many people have had threesomes (or more) with other women, the sad reality is that the threesomes we could have would most often involve not another woman, but another man.

#5 - Impotence is a grounds for divorce

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In over 20 states in America, impotence can be cited as the grounds for a marriage breakdown and subsequent divorce. I’m sure a few wealthy businessmen who didn’t see the need for a pre-nup are now kicking themselves for their shortsightedness. It’s not enough that men have the burden of pleasuring the woman they love and rising to the occasion every time. Now we have the added pressure that if we can’t get it up and give our wife a good seeing to, she can divorce us. If you weren’t suffering from penile dysfunction before, you may well do now! I think there should be another reason for divorce created to cite women who don’t have the necessary fellatio skills to keep a man at full mast. Believe me, I’ve met a few of them.

#4 - Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm

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What? My dad never told me that. All these years I’ve been performing the sexual equivalent of stuffing a turkey and I never knew it. A lot of guys don’t even think about her pleasure during sex because it’s so easy to get lost in the moment. Thinking about it from a female perspective though, it makes sense. In, out. In, out. In, out. Yeah, I can see how that might get a bit boring after a while. The key is to master the clit using your fingers, tongue and any other body part you think can do the job. One of the best positions to get her clit going is doggy style with a manual reacharound. Try it and become a stud today.

#3 - Your penis can explode

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I’ve watched an entire TV documentary on sex disasters and things that go wrong during sex and it has changed the way I look at sex forever. I remember one in particular involving a Romanian man and his sexy 18 year-old girlfriend. If you’ve ever had an erection so hard you felt like it could burst, imagine how this guy felt. His erection was so hard, firm and manly that the blood cavities in the penis actually burst. Can I get an overwhelming “Ouch!” from the guys reading this? And it’s not just your penis exploding you need to worry about. There’s something a lot more common that nobody told me about until it happened to me. The dreaded ‘banjo string’. If you don’t know what the banjo string is, it’s the piece of skin between the penis and the foreskin and is officially known as the frenulum. If you’ve been circumcised congratulations, you probably haven’t even got a banjo string. If you haven’t, there is a good chance that rough sex can ’snap’ this little bit of skin and it bloody hurts. And bleeds. A lot.

#2 - Only 1 in 400 men can give themselves oral sex

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While it’s not surprising that only 1 man out of every 400 has the size and/or flexibility to perform fellatio on themselves, what is really embarrassing is that most of, if not all of, the 400 men have tried to give themselves oral. I find it a slap in the face to evolution that men created the wheel, flew to the moon, invented electricity and learnt to fly, yet they still attempted to suck themselves off in the bathroom. If you’re laughing while you read this, then chances are you’ve tried this yourself. If you have a smug grin on your face while you read this, then maybe you should consider a career in porn.

#1 - Men have a G-spot too

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Men actually have a spot which, when stimulated, can induce pleasure in much the same way as the female G-spot. The irony of this is that to pleasure ourselves in this way we have to explore areas of our body that most straight men would prefer not to explore. For some reason, our prostate is the source of this pleasure and it happens to be buried deep in our dirtbox. If you want to explore the joy of rubbing this sacred spot, you need to insert one (or two if you’re feeling brave) fingers directly into your anus. I experienced this completely by accident one evening when an ex-girlfriend decided to surprise me with an impromptu anal probing. Needless to say, I have mixed feelings about the whole thing as a result. If you’re brave enough to try it, lube up. Trust me, it won’t be anywhere near as enjoyable going in dry.

I had to learn all of this (and much, much more) through my own investigation and experimentation because my father only ever gave me two pieces of advice before I became sexually active:

1. Shag as many women as you can while you’re still young.
2. Don’t get her pregnant or bring home any infections.

If you have any sex information or advice that you think people should know about, or you want to share the key points of your own sex talk with your dad, leave a message in the comments. Ladies, feel free to comment too on things guys do wrong in the sack or things they should do more often and if your mother gave you some brilliant sex advice then for the love of God, please share it with us too.

This is an original post from Just A Guy Thing

10 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Sex

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Image by Randy Son Of Robert

I’m always on the lookout for gifts and gadgets which satisfy my inner geek. I like things original and innovative and not just the typical Nintendo Wii or Apple iTouch or whatever the latest fad is.

With that in mind, here’s a guide to all things unique. Maybe you’ll see something you like for yourself or one of your geeky friends!

The Rubik’s Cube

The Rubik’s Cube was my absolutely favourite toy as a child. It’s challenging, fun and a must-have collectible. Apparently there are 43 quintillion possible moves with only one possible solution. The aim of the game is to twist and turn the cube in order to make every side a solid colour. Of course, as a kid I just used to peel off the stickers and cheat. There are a few sites you can visit to find out how to solve the puzzle as well.

Buy a Rubik’s Cube now for just $9.20.

Voodoo knife holder set

This 5-piece knife set comes with a voodoo doll style holder. Perfect for those of us who sometimes feel like stabbing someone but don’t necessarily want to go to jail for it. It comes in a variety of different colours, although I personally think that the chrome version is the nicest of them all.

Buy the entire set now for just $99.95.

Credit card bottle opener

I know it’s more manly to use your teeth to rip off the bottle cap but in the long run this will preserve your teeth and looks good too. With this handy tool you can reach into your wallet and remove a bottle top with no molar implications. You’ll also be the coolest geek at the party. Congratulations.

Get a set of five for you and your friends for a mere $6.95.

Dart coat hooks

If you’ve ever been caught playing darts indoors by your wife or partner, you might want to consider using this darts coat hooks to try and disguise your dart playing. Put them up in the area you usually play darts under the pretense of “adding more room for coats and jackets to keep the house tidy”. Then you’ll not only benefit from hanging your darts team cap on them, you can also pretend to your partner that the extra dart in the wall is another coat hook. Honest, dear!

Grab a set of arrows for $31.95.

Magnetic desk dots

I used to play for hours with gadgets like these as a child. I like to think it’s the reason behind my magnetic personality, but perhaps I’m just delusional! Either way, these are a great addition to your desk. They keep things neat and tidy and can help to reduce stress during the day by playing with them. I love them.

Magnetise your desk for only $21.95.

The IT Crowd: Version 1.0

One of the funniest TV shows to come out of the UK targeted at the geek audience. Trapped in the basement (the IT department) of a huge company, Roy and Moss spend the majority of their days discussing geek-related stuff and playing guitar hero. If working in IT was really this much fun, I’m sure I’d be doing it myself.

Buy The IT Crowd for $29.63. [DVD is in PAL format so will only work on unlocked DVD players - most geeks should have one of those. I know I do.]

Swiss Army Knife with USB storage

I actually thought it was impossible to take something as incredibly manly and useful as a Swiss Army Knife and turn it geeky, but it appears someone has. By adding a 2GB USB storage device to a knife which contains a nail file with screwdriver, scissors, key ring, LED mini-light, and retractable ballpoint pen, Victorinox has provided something that is not only useful, but also incredibly geeky.

Get your geek knife now for $87.95.

Staple-free stapler

I remember back in school this crazy kid who took a stapler, put his finger under it and slammed down as hard as he could with his other hand. The