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You could be the most well-dressed man in the world with an amazing charisma, a magnetic personality and the charm to get any woman or any job you like - but it could all come crashing down like a house of cards if your shoulders look like the Swiss Alps. Grooming is often overlooked and unless you actually want to smell like a sweaty wilderbeast, you should pay at least a little attention to your personal hygiene.

Here’s a quick guide to banishing the likes of body-odors and bad breath. Trust me, you’ll thank us for it later.

Death Breath

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There’s nothing more disgusting than talking to someone in close proximity and witnessing your eyebrows fall from your face due to extreme halitosis. Sometimes bad breath can be a sign of a kidney infection, so if your toxic fumes don’t go away after vigorous tooth brushing and tongue scraping, a trip to the doctor may be in order. Also try to chew sugar-free gum because sugar is known to exaggerate bad breath. Try a bottle of breath freshener instead.

Rash Reactions

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Skin flare-ups can be triggered by any number of things, the most common of which is too much ale and a reaction to shower gels. Unless you want to look like a scabies-infested hobo, you should treat serious skin reactions with an intensive repair lotion. Eucerin’s Redness Relief also uses green pigment to cancel out the redness of your skin and leaves you looking a lot less like you’ve been scrubbing yourself with a wire brush.

Stinky Pits

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While there are a few rare women who revel in the musty smell of a mans arm pits, the vast majority prefer you to not fester in your own juices. If you’re an extreme sweater, you can paralyse the sweat glands with botox. If that’s too metrosexual for you, don’t sweat it (excuse the pun). Stick to wearing natural, loose fitting fabrics and keep the colors dark to avoid the circle of death under your arms. A cold shower after exercising will close the sweat pores and wash off odor-causing bacteria. A hardcore antiperspirant is also essential.

Foot Fumes

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If your feet still stink after you’ve cleaned them, you could be a victim of athlete’s foot. Which is ironic if the only exercise you do is getting the beer from the fridge. It can be easily treated using foot gel to kill the odors instead of just covering them up. You can also whack on some foot spray to really show that bacteria who the man is.

Dandruff Disaster

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Looking like a ski slope in the south of France is unbecoming for anyone and people will avoid you like it’s contagious. The cause of dandruff is an imbalance in the scalp’s PH level. Sooth your inflamed noggin by applying a pre-shampoo treatment and then avoid further snowy days by regularly using a dandruff lotion.

Okay fellas, it’s your turn. What’s your worst grooming atrocity? Ear fungus? Lice in your beard? We want to know! Ladies, feel free to chip in and reveal your mans worst habits.

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While I regularly talk about improving your physique and becoming more manly, there are occasions when more modern, metro-sexual principles are appropriate. In this case - grooming. Now I’m not saying that you need to stock up on fake tan lotion and start painting your toe nails (both of those are entirely personal choice!) but what I am saying that timing is everything when it comes to your grooming habits.

So let’s look at the best time to groom yourself and why.

Scrub your face the night before shaving. A lot of men use facial scrubs right before they shave, not knowing that shaving itself actually exfoliates the skin. A better idea is to use a scrub the night before and avoid the extra aggravation to your skin.

Shave 10 minutes after waking up. When you wake up, your face is puffy due to a build up of fluid overnight. Leave it 10 minutes to subside and you’ll have a smoother surface to work with. Also, the ten minutes will give you enough time to wake up properly so you don’t cut your own throat with the blade.

Apply your fragrance before you moisturise. To ensure your fragrance lasts as longer as possible don’t simply spray it on with a crop duster - you’ll just make women gag! Instead, apply a normal amount to your skin first. Leave it a few minutes and apply your moisturiser. Well hydrated skin holds the fragrance for longer - which leaves you smelling fresh as a daisy all day long.

Style your hair before it’s dry. The best time to apply your new extra-strong wax is when your hair is damp. Too wet and you’ll dilute the product, making it look crap. Too dry and you’ll look like you got out of bed on the wrong side! Towel dry your bonce and wait 10 minutes before waxing it up.

Brush your teeth before breakfast. Most people, myself included, have grown up brushing their teeth after breakfast. That was until I discovered that drinking fruit juice with an acidic pH value damages the tooth enamel. Now I brush before breakfast. Although I do have to leave it for ten minutes because orange juice tastes vile after you first brush your gnashers.

Moisturise last thing at night. Water loss through the skin is greatest at night so you’d be better off applying your cream or lotion before going to bed. It’s also more beneficial when you’re crawling into bed because the cream will be better absorbed in a warm bed.

Treat a spot before bed. Got a zit? Apply your cream or treatment before going to sleep. This gives it time to go to work without the skin having to deal with pollution and UV exposure.

Use an anti-aging cream at night. Yeah, yeah I know it’s girly but the skin switches to repair mode at night, which makes it the best time to reverse skin damage. Plus, we’ll all be old one day, but we might as well make it look good!

If you’ve got any great skincare tips or secrets that keep you looking hunky and masculine then please drop us a message in the comments so that we can all benefit from your wisdom. After all, there’s nothing much more satisfying than being a wingman to a less fortunate guy.