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Using science as an excuse to get tanked on booze has always been a dream of ours at the JAGT HQ, which is why writing this article was all the more satisfying. The thesis is simple; get drunk seven times and for each hangover, try a different ‘cure’ and report back on its effectiveness.

Our subject is a 25 year old male who has experienced some decline in his ability to recover quickly from a hangover. Let’s see what Wikipedia says he has to look forward to:

A hangover is associated with a variety of symptoms that may include dehydration, fatigue, headache, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, weakness, elevated body temperature, hypersalivation, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, irritability, sensitivity to light and noise, erratic motor functions, and trouble sleeping. Many people will also be repulsed by the thought or taste of alcohol during a hangover. The symptoms vary from person to person, and occasion to occasion, usually beginning several hours after drinking.

Looking at the extensive list of hangover symptoms only makes our relationship with beer all the more bittersweet. Let’s get stuck into the experiment and see how our subject got on.

Hangover Cure #1 - The hair of the dog

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The Myth

The colloquial English phrase “the hair of the dog that bit you” actually suggests alcohol itself as a form of treatment for a hangover. Scientifically, there is evidence that a hangover is not only the body removing toxins but also the body’s reaction to withdrawal of alcohol.

The Reality

“After a heavy night drinking, I wake up with a splitting headache and smelling like Robert Downey Jr. before rehab. The thought of drinking more alcohol is unbearable as the nausea sets in. Grudgingly, I crack open a bottle of Budweiser and sit, shaking, in my underwear as I sip the golden nectar in the interests of science. After 30 minutes I start to feel a lot better. Out comes another bottle and this one goes down a lot smoother than before. It’s not even 9am yet and temptation has me craving a third bottle of beer. I resist, and although I feel pretty good now it’s only a matter of time before the familiar symptoms creep back to ruin my day.”

The Conclusion

After trying the hair of the dog, our subject reported that he actually began to feel better. His headache subsided and the feeling of nausea passed. Unfortunately, once he’d finished drinking the symptoms came back just as strongly in the afternoon. By drinking a couple of beers he had merely delayed the inevitable. Now, if he had mixed himself a Bloody Mary, it might have been a different story.

Hangover Cure #2 - A big greasy breakfast

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The Myth

Here in England, ask anyone what the best hangover cure is and it’s very likely that they’ll say, “A big greasy fry up.” A fry up, also known as a Full English Breakfast is a traditionally cooked meal which is served in the morning and will include most of the following:

• Toast or fried bread
• Fried bacon
• Fried egg
• Sausages
• Fried or tinned tomatoes
• Fried mushrooms
• Baked beans
• Hash browns
• HP brown sauce and/or ketchup

While not exactly good for your heart, it is said that a full English can “soak up the alcohol”.

The Reality

“My head feels like I’ve been in a train wreck and to say my stomach is a little delicate would be an understatement. I don’t really feel like eating but the smell of the fried egg and bacon gets me salivating and my taste buds are on red alert. I apply a liberal amount of HP brown sauce to my bacon, sausage, eggs, baked beans, hash browns and tinned tomatoes and get stuck in like I haven’t eaten in weeks! To cap off a fantastic breakfast I wash the food down with a strong cup of tea. Half an hour after the breakfast, my nausea has all but vanished. My head, while still throbbing, doesn’t pound anywhere near as much as it did before I ate and any lethargy I felt when waking up has been replaced by a sudden surge of energy.”

The Conclusion

A pretty good result for this cure. The headache didn’t completely disappear but it subsided, along with nausea and laziness! Perhaps the Full English Breakfast really does soak up alcohol after all?

Hangover Cure #3 - Exercise

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The Myth

There is no denying that a workout makes you feel good. The endorphins are flowing, you clear your mind and your blood pumps through your veins. But is this a good idea after a heavy drinking session? Science states that exercise after a night on the tiles helps the heart pump blood around the body and increases the amount of oxygen in your body too. This, supposedly, flushes the impure toxins of the booze out of your system.

The Reality

“After arriving at the gym, I spend about ten minutes at the water cooler trying not to be sick psyching myself up. With plenty of water to hand, I finally get on and start at a light, steady pace. Surprisingly, my stamina is actually better than usual. I’m sweating like a nun in a cucumber patch but enjoying every second of the workout! After 30 minutes of moderate jogging I decide to call it a day. The walk home is borderline euphoric. If only I’d known that working out after a skinful was this rewarding; I would be built like a Greek god by now. A few hours after the gym however, my head is pounding and I feel exhausted and weak. My euphoric high has now been replaced with a depressive low. So much for the gym being the answer to my alcoholic prayers.”

The Conclusion

Working out seems to be a short term solution to the problem, but is the immense high of working out when you’re already dehydrated worth the physical risks and the manic low experienced by our test subject? Our verdict: no.

Hangover Cure #4 - Drinking water

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The Myth

Although technically a prevention rather than a remedy, drinking water before going to bed is the most common way to prevent a hangover from occurring. The science behind this is simple; excessive drinking leaves your body dehydrated. Replenishing your body by drinking water is the logical way to counteract this. Let’s see if it worked.

The Reality

“After ten pints and a couple of shots, I stumble home in a drunken stupor. I almost head straight for bed before I remember there is something I’m supposed to do. What the hell is it? Oh yes, I need to drink lots and lots of water. I grab my ‘Worlds Greatest Lover’ pint glass and fill it with water. Somehow a pool of water appears on the floor too. Never mind, the girlfriend will sort that out. I refill three times and force the non-alcoholic liquid down my throat. I feel bloated and sleepy. I burp quickly before heading to bed. The next morning I wake up at 9am and lie there for a moment. No nausea, no lethargy, a very slight headache but nothing I can’t handle. ‘It’s a miracle!’ I proclaim as I get out of bed. Oh no….dizziness sets in and I lose my balance and bounce against the wardrobe door. It passes quickly but now the headache is more noticeable. I don’t feel terrible, but I don’t feel great either.”

The Conclusion

There is no questioning that drinking plenty of water both during, and after, your drinking session will be of great benefit the morning after. Our subject suffered slight dizziness and lack of balance, but after ten pints and a few shots, this is actually quite a good result.

Hangover Cure #5 - Over the counter hangover pills

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The Myth

Over the counter dietary supplement RU-21 contains the active ingredient succinic acid, an extract of amber. The penis enlargement internet marketers have jumped on the bandwagon and now tout the pill as a miracle cure for alcohol hangovers. Supposedly developed by Soviet scientists for the KGB, this ‘wonder drug’ apparently metabolizes the alcohol in your body. Urban legend says that it was intended for use by KGB spies to drink heavily with suspected Western spies so that they could remain sober and potentially obtain secrets from their drunken counterparts. When that didn’t work, tests showed it could lessen a hangover. Let’s see.

The Reality

“I had decided beforehand that to fully test this pill I’d need to drink more alcohol than I had ever drunk in my life before. Heading to the local watering hole I started gradually with a couple of bottles of Corona and lime. Then I downed two pints of Carling lager before my mate came over and challenged me to pick up the pace. Necking a double vodka and coke I summoned the barman to provide me with two shots of tequila and a beer to wash it down. Amidst this I was popping the odd ‘dietary pill’ and drawing concerned looks from the locals. Stepping up a gear I drank, in quick succession, a depth charge, two shots of some disgusting apple liquid, an Aftershock and a Southern Comfort and coke. I finished the evening off with a bottle of Bud and a shot of absinthe. (I remember everything I drunk because I wrote it down, thankfully) The next morning I woke up feeling like I’d been hit in the face by a sledgehammer and proceeded to be ‘violently ill’ in the bathroom. This experiment was an absolute disaster and I would gladly accept death to stop the pain.”

The Conclusion

Upon further research, it is documented that the pill “is not for binge drinkers”. It apparently works best when drinking in moderation. Call us cynical but isn’t that the kind of drinking that means you barely even get a hangover, thus ensuring that the drug can never be discounted as a placebo, created by a charlatan to take money from the unsuspecting public?

Hangover Cure #6 - Back To The Future Wake-Up Juice

Image by pmarella

The Myth

In Back To The Future: Part 3, Doc Brown gets smashed on whiskey after losing the love of his life. Mad Dog Tannen is on his way to six-shoot Marty and the Doc to an early grave and the lovable scientist has passed out at the bar. The bar tender Chester puts together an antidote to alcohol called wake-up juice. The BTTF wiki claims this juice includes tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, chili peppers, onion, and mustard seed. We bought and blended the ingredients to test out on our unsuspecting subject.

The Reality

“‘What’s in it?’ I ask gingerly as I walk into the kitchen nursing the hangover from hell. My tormentor just smiles and hits level 3 on the blender. My head reacts badly and I wince at the sound of the blades liquidizing the blood-red concoction. After what seems like an eternity I’m handed a half-pint glass of the most disgusting looking drink I have ever seen in my life. I feel like a prisoner of war as I’m instructed to neck the whole thing in one go. I take a deep breath and fling my head back, gulping down the cocktail of god-knows-what. At first I feel nothing. But then, from the bottom of my throat up and into my mouth and my lips, all I feel is heat. I’m burning from the inside with a very distinct bitter taste. I reach for the tap but nothing comes out They cut the taps to ensure the experiment goes as planned! I gag and heave and after what seems like an eternity I prepare myself for the humiliation of vomiting on the kitchen floor, just as the taps come back on and I engulf my head in water, lapping at the faucet like a dog after a long walk. Thirty minutes later and the headache still pounds through my skill, my stomach is more volatile than ever and my lips still tingle with the hint of tabasco sauce. I’m never drinking again.”

The conclusion

It seems that with all their millions of dollars, Hollywood can put together some fantastic sets, amazing visual effects and some great guy movies, but they can’t create a cure for a hangover.

Hangover Cure #7 - Vomiting

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The Myth

Another prevention which is supposed to be done prior to sleeping, vomiting has been the hangover prevention of choice for frat boys for decades now. The science says that vomiting is the bodies natural way of getting rid of toxins quickly. Oh, there is also the slight risk of dehydration and electrolyte imbalances. Nevertheless, we sent our intrepid subject out to vomit in the name of science.

The Reality

“After a marathon drinking session which started at the local pub, I began my quest to have a drink (or two) in each bar leading into town - a mile long stretch in total - before arriving at a nightclub ten pints later for some serious drinking. Cue shots of vodka, whiskey, tequila, ouzo, absinthe and Aftershock - all in the name of science. I don’t remember getting home, but what I do remember is being wrapped around the toilet for the better part of the night. I awoke in the morning to find myself sleeping on the floor next to the bed. I ached but my head felt fine. My stomach felt pretty solid and I had a big bacon sandwich and cup of coffee to pick me up. I was feeling great with the only downside being my lack of desire to do anything. I lay in bed playing XBox and nothing short of a natural disaster was going to get me out of my underpants. Of course, I’d rather feel bad than have to clean up the festering mess that still exists in and around the toilet bowl!”

The Conclusion

Being sick after a heavy session seems to greatly reduce the effects of a hangover the next morning. It doesn’t reduce the lethargy though and the health risks of regularly making yourself sick means that we recommend leaving self-induced vomiting to Nicole Ritchie and the Olsen twins.

The final hangover summary

Of the seven remedies trialled by our resident guinea pig, we asked him to choose the most effective cure for a hangover. His answer: A Full English Breakfast. Now, after all this science mumbo-jumbo we’re gonna head off and get a few beers, while eating….a full english breakfast. In the meantime, drop your best hangover remedies in the comments. We can’t live without the booze, so we might as well share ways to enjoy all of the positives while reducing the negatives. Cheers.

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Who can forget this fabulous business card exchange scene from the cult movie American Psycho, starring Christian Bale:

While modern day business card exchange is not likely to induce mass murder (unless you’re swapping cards with David Berkowitz), it can be pretty cut throat and riddled with gloating, show-offs, and one upsmanship. Putting aside petty business card wars, proper business card etiquette can be an extremely powerful networking tool.

The Basics Of Business Card Etiquette

Before you go flinging about your business cards like they’re going out of fashion - try to observe the following basics of giving and receiving business cards:

• Make sure you always have enough business cards. The amount of men who don’t carry business cards or run out when networking at a function is laughable. You’ve just been given a card by the MD of a very big corporation and lo and behold, when you come to hand yours over - you have none left. Contact gone.
• If you’re traveling to another country, get one side of your business translated into the appropriate language. There’s no point handing your card over to a Japanese Marketing Director if he doesn’t speak English.
• Bit of a no-brainer this one, but always hand the card over so that the recipients language is face up.
• After receiving a business card, don’t just stick it in your wallet. Take some time to study it and make the person feel important.
• Hand business cards out to everyone and anyone. I hate men that hoard their business cards. Keeping a load of cards in your wallet may make you feel important but that’s not going to get you a referral is it?

With the basics covered, let’s look at how business cards can provide powerful networking skills.

How to use business cards for powerful networking purposes

By following the basics, you can ensure that a business card exchange goes smoothly. Once you have a number of cards from various contacts you need to be able to use them appropriately, not to mention ensuring that your business cards provide value to your prospects.

Organize your business cards for effective contact management

You’ll need to find a way of keeping your contacts in an uncluttered format so that they are easily accessible and can be found quickly if needed. Old school traditionalists will stick to their trusty business card Rolodex, while more tech-savvy chaps will store them in a file on their laptop. If you’re a super-nerd you’ll probably want to buy a Samsung G600 which can store business card information by simply taking a photo of the card with the 5MP camera.

Once you’ve got your choice of system in place, it’s a good idea to write on the back of the cards a few notes so you remember the person who gave it to you. When making contact with them later, the fact you’ve remembered them will be to your advantage. You can file them in whatever order you prefer, but personally I’d go with the simple A-Z. Other orders could be by company name or the category of business.

You might also want to set a reminder to go back and review your cards on a bi-monthly basis; you’ll keep the contacts fresh in your mind and it might prompt you to make contact with a few of them again to go over unfinished business from the last time you spoke.

Make your business card a conversation starter

There is an unlimited number of things you can do with your business card to make it stand out from the crowd. Dare to be different and you could just spark a conversation with your next big client. This image from Matt Cutts’ blog is one example of how business card creativity can stick in your mind:

Sadly, however, there is no contact information on this one but you get the idea.

Develop a business card strategy

Once you’ve got your fancy stand-out-in-a-crowd business cards all printed up and ready to go, you need to figure who you’re going to distribute them to, where and how. Focus on your intended clients and think about where you’d be happy to receive a business card for your services. Place them on bulletin boards at local restaurants, supermarkets, libraries and include them in all snail-mail correspondence (even bills you pay). You never know who is going to come across your card and give you a call.

Give people a reason to keep hold of your business card

The longer people have your card, the greater the chance that someday they’ll need to use your services. Giving prospects a reason to keep hold of your card could be the difference between them hiring you and them hiring someone else through the Yellow Pages. You can do this in a variety of ways by printing something unique on the back of the card. Things such as a calendar, a list of your services, important measurements, or anything relevant to your industry.

You could also add a referral coupon on the back, giving them a discount if they bring the card in to an appointment. Catchy slogans can work well, as can simple, to-the-point call to actions that show a direct benefit to the prospect: “All major credit cards accepted” for example.

Making sure that your business card asks for the business

One of the fundamentals you get taught as a salesman is to ask for the business. If you don’t ask, you greatly reduce your chances of getting anything. Your business card needs to not only give the prospect a reason to contact you, it needs to flat out ask for it too.

Examples of this could include:

• Present this card for a 15% discount
• Log on to justaguything.com for FREE networking advice

The number of ways you can use business cards as a marketing tool is almost limitless. If you have any networking tips or advice for socializing at shows, conventions and events then please leave us your comments.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

W. Triesthof

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Summer is fast approaching us and there is a terrifying possibility looming over you: you might have to take your t-shirt off to reveal a full years worth of paunch to a beach packed with sexy babes and ripped-like-Jesus gym rats. Kids will cry. Women will stare. Men will laugh.

There are, however, a number of extreme (and mostly stupid) fad diets to help you to shift your flab in double quick time. We’ve gone through untested, occasionally illegal and often life-threatening methods for weight loss and we’re presenting six of our favorites.

Extremely Stupid Fad Diet #1 - The Lemonade Diet

Image by little english

The recipe

• Lemon juice
• Cayenne pepper
• Maple syrup
• Water

The diet history

The lemonade diet was brought into the mainstream by a certain Miss Beyonce Knowles, who wanted to take some junk out of her trunk before filming the flick Dream Girls. Originally named The Master Cleanser Diet, it was created in 1941 by Stanley Burroughs, a health therapist once charged with second-degree murder after a patient died from one of his treatments. The diet eliminate toxins and congestion that have built up in the body and, because you don’t get a complete source of macro-nutrients, it is actually consider fasting rather than a diet.

Does it work?

Well, Beyonce lost 22lbs in 14 days on the diet and a whole host of celebs and normal everyday folk report good results with the diet. The only downsides are feeling lethargic, depressed, lacking focus, dizziness, nausea and the possibility of death. So, good short term weight loss, but the possibility of death makes this a bit of a risk.

Extremely Stupid Fad Diet #2 - The Raw Food Diet

Image by bryanbope

The recipe

• Errr, raw food…

The diet history

The raw food diet has been promoted by new-age hippie types since the early 1900’s. If you have to cook it over 116°F, you can’t eat it. The raw food evangelists claim that the diet predates the discovery of fire, so it’s natural for the human body.

Does it work?

Personal development guru Steve Pavlina conducted a Raw Food Diet Trial throughout January. He lost 8lbs during the month and 1.8% body fat so the diet definitely works. Be prepared for incredibly dry, cracked and itchy skin, odd-colored poop, extreme boredom and any number of the following symptoms; bad breath, chills, headaches, daytime drowsiness, mental fogginess, concentration problems, low libido, and an unstable yo-yoing of your alertness and emotional states. That said, after the initial adaptation phase, Steve indicated that he felt consistently good on this diet and improved his muscular endurance and his mental focus as a result.

Extremely Stupid Fad Diet #3 - The Backwards Diet

The recipe

• Eat dinner for breakfast
• Regular meal for lunch
• Eat breakfast for dinner

The diet history

Florida porker Tricia Cunningham lost about 170lbs by creating her own ‘reverse’ diet. Like the old adage says, “Eat like a king in the morning, a prince at lunch and a pauper at dinner.”

Does it work?

Well big Tricia went from just under 300lbs to just over 100lbs so it’s fair to say the diet works. Research shows no negative side effects to speak of, but it is definitely one of the hardest diets to stick to due to the complete change of lifestyle and eating habits required to do it. We’re men, and we want a damn steak on the table, cooked rare with some fries, onion rings and maybe a bit of salad to make the whole thing look nice for our dinner. Even though we won’t eat it.

Extremely Stupid Fad Diet #4 - The Stone Age Diet

Image by eyeball jello mold

The recipe

• Lean meat
• Fish
• Vegetables
• Nuts

The diet history

The hunter-gather, paleolithic style diet was first popularized in the mid 1970s by a gastroenterologist named Walter L. Voegtlin. Basically, if you can shoot it, catch it or unearth it from a bush, plant or tree, you can eat it. That means bread, wine, beer, milk, grains and beans are out.

Does it work?

Writer Jimmy Lee Shreeve wrote an article for The Independent last year detailing how the paleolithic diet helped him shift his middle-age spread. If you look at the foods you eat on the diet, it’s no surprise. Lean meat, oily fish and a lot of vegetable and fruits. No sugary crap and processed junk to slow you down. In short, it’s a great diet for high priority weight loss but you’ll need a purpose such as getting ready to look good on the beach. Otherwise, the monotony and self-enforced restraint will destroy your soul. And your will to live.

Extremely Stupid Fad Diet #5 - The Russian Air Force Diet

Image by Heaven’s Gate (John)

The recipe

• No bread
• No pasta
• No rice

The diet history

The Atkins Diet meets Rocky IV with this diet developed in the former Soviet Union to keep soldiers fit during the cold war. There is a huge emphasis on cutting carbs rather than a complete shift in eating habits and lifestyle change.

Does it work?

Like many diets which can be tailored to provide an appropriate number of calories, you will lose weight. Unfortunately, once you finish the diet, you’ll probably pack it all on again because you haven’t changed your habits. The low-carb aspect means you’ll be low on energy and you will be sick to death of mustard (the only condiment you’re allowed) by the end. Also, the excessive use of eggs in the diet means that your farts will inevitably be more deadly than an entire Soviet army.

Extremely Stupid Fad Diet #6 - The Sex Diet

Image by zhao_jing08

The recipe

• A lot of sex. 8 time a week, on average.

The diet history

A horny fat chick called Kerry McCloskey lost 23lbs bouncing up and down on her husband eight times a week. Technically, it’s not a diet as there are no set foods to eat. Kerry reckons that the diet encourages better nutrition and, since you burn about 200 calories in a 30-minute sex session, it’s an effective way to shift excess blubber. You can also target problem areas by turning basic exercises into foreplay. Moves like the ‘love squat’, for example.

Does it work?

Kerry got some good results from it, but to be honest, we’re pretty skeptical about this ‘diet’. While 30 minutes of exercise every day will no doubt have health benefits; allowing you to eat junk day and night makes this diet a bit of a failure. Any weight loss you do have can probably be written off to ejaculate.

Have you subjected yourself to a painstaking diet with numerous negative side effects in the pursuit of attaining a male model physique? If so, let us know in the comments.

Image by Mikhaela Reid

It’s a Friday night, you’re dressed to thrill and you’re sat in a lovely restaurant with a sexy looking lady. You’re both sipping on champagne and enjoying each others company. Then, out of nowhere, you deliver a burp so powerful that it resonates throughout the restaurant - leaving your date, and the patrons of said restaurant, in a stunned state of silence.

We’d like to think that most men are aware of proper dating etiquette but, for the socially-inept among us, we’d like to educate you on a few dating sins and how to avoid them. Knowing how to act when you’re dating a woman will make you seem normal and gentlemanly, as opposed to weird, possessive and a potential stalker risk!

Sin #7 - Lavishing her with flowers and gifts

Now we’re not saying you should never send your woman flowers. In fact, it can be a very romantic gesture to give her flowers and gifts. It crosses the grey area of stalkersville when you send a hundred red roses and a giant teddy with “I <3 You" on his tummy to her office after just two dates together. Moderation is the key here and if you bombard her with gifts too soon, you could find yourself on the receiving end of a restraining order.

How to avoid it:

You can be romantic without going over the top on grand gestures. Next time you’re on a date, bring her a single red rose as a gift (assuming of course that you’re taking her to a nice restaurant and not the McDonalds drive-thru). It’s sweet, classy and thoughtful without emitting psycho vibes.

Sin #6 - Letting her get her own way every time

Despite what they may tell you, women actually love a challenge more than men. Once they feel like they’ve got you completely figured out - the thrill wears off and they will start to lose interest in you. Nobody wants a walkover partner who will just agree to everything you say. It’s just plain boring and before you know it, she’s stepping out with someone else while you’re stuck at home folding your laundry into neat piles because “that’s the way she told me to do it”.

How to avoid it:

Challenge her! Don’t be a doormat and stand your ground when you want to do something. Football night with the guys coincides with your movie night? Sorry, love, but football wins. Break a few dates with her at the last minute to show that you’re still not totally about her. It’ll drive her crazy but she will enjoy the chase of trying to get you.

Sin #5 - Bombarding her with phone calls

This is a similar scenario to sending her lots of gifts and flowers with an added twist: drunk dialing. A great deal of men will practically harass women with phone calls and texts looking to get together again. Women see it as a desperate desire to have sex with them and contrary to popular male belief - it’s not a turn on! Drunk dialing is worse still because chances are it will be late at night and you’ll leave a drunken message on her answer phone. Your slurred speech and occasional hiccup isn’t going to make her come over and sleep with you; despite your declaration that you’ll “fu*k her brains out”.

How to avoid it:

Don’t be so desperate. If she said she would call then wait for her to make the first move. Go out and meet other people instead of sitting by the phone waiting for a call. It’s very unbecoming for a gentleman to get fixated on one person. If you’re going to get drunk then leave your phone at home. If you do take it out, nominate a wing man to stop you from calling or texting any women while you’re wasted. You’ll thank him in the morning.

Sin #4 - Checking out other women

Occasionally we all like to observe an attractive looking female while in the company of our date but, believe it or not, most women don’t like it. Worse still, some brave souls actually make their observations vocal. “She’s hot - look at that ass!” for example. This is a particular problem when at the movies, watching TV or watching a DVD on movie night and you make casual observations about Natalie Portman’s stripping technique and how she could swing on your pole anytime she liked.

How to avoid it:

The main way to avoid it is to not vocalize your opinions to your lady friend. If you want to get anywhere with her, you’ll keep your mouth shut. Be more subtle with your roaming eye to reduce the chances of getting caught. Following the seconds hand on a clock for five minutes will improve your focus but may not stop your eyes from wandering if a leggy blonde waltzs past you. If you do get busted, make an observation about the subject. For example, “Her dress is nice. I think you’d look even better in it with your sexy long legs.”

Sin #3 - Being too over-protective and jealous

Nothing can sabotage a relationship quicker than an over-protective boyfriend. Her friends will hate you first and foremost; which means they’ll be telling her to ditch you and find someone better. If you start getting jealous of her friendship with another guy, she’s going to see that as a sign you’re not trustworthy yourself. In her eyes, if you think she’d cheat in that kind of situation then it’s because you yourself would also cheat in the same scenario. Get it?

How to avoid it:

Next time she talks about going to the bars with her friends, ask to join them. Make yourself a part of her social circle and you’ll be praised by her friends for years to come. You’ve all got your girlfriend in common so it shouldn’t be too difficult to make friends and all have a good time together. Make sure you don’t hit on her hot friend though - it will come back to haunt you!

Sin #2 - Copping a feel in public

Unless you’ve been together a while or your girl is an exhibitionist (lucky you!), grabbing her boobs and ass in public is a sure-fire way to get a slap in the mouth and end the date. If your girl is drunk and you’re copping a feel, be warned. It’s ungentlemanly and it will eventually get back to her that you were taking advantage of her drunken state. Obviously, if a girl grabs your junk on the dance floor first, she has initiated the gropefest and you can now fondle at will!

How to avoid it:

Keep in mind that if you play your cards right, you could have your hands all over her body for hours without the risk of any feminine backlash. Treat her like a gentleman, flirt with her and you will be able to do much more than cop a quick feel. If she’s too drunk, take care of her and don’t take advantage. She’ll appreciate it in the morning - once she sobers up.

Sin #1 - “Smile for me, baby.”

Although there are probably many more sins such as lack of spontaneity or being too negative about anything and everything, commanding a girl to smile is a pet peeve for a lot of women! You are invalidating her feelings by making her pretend she’s having a good time when, clearly, she isn’t. It’s also a bit condescending to be flat out told to smile and there is always a good reason why she isn’t grinning.

How to avoid it:

Instead of asking her to smile falsely, actually learn how to make women laugh and use your new found knowledge to build a connection with her. If you’re doing it right, she’ll smile without needing any prompts or commands from you.

Obviously there are many more sins to avoid when dating such as burping, farting and telling stupid jokes you read in an e-mail. Leave some comments with the worst things girls (or guys) have done while you were on a date with them and we’ll all have a good laugh at their expense.

Image by Frenkieb

We’ve received a great deal of criticism for our 100 Great Movies Every Guy MUST See article due to the generic action flicks and repetitive Hollywood story lines. In the interests of promoting lesser known movies, we’ve rented, downloaded or borrowed hundreds of guy movies you may not have heard of before. We’ve watched them, reviewed them and now we’ll list our top ten. Here they are:

#10 - The Right Stuff

Not many movies are better than the book the story is taken from, but the Right Stuff is one movie that achieves this feat. The Right Stuff is the first act of a much bigger story in which the main goal was to reach the moon before the Russians. The Space Race. This story is downplayed and instead explores the seven original astronauts plus Chuck Yeager, the guy who wasn’t chosen for the mission. What makes it great is that even though these guys knew the dangers of space travel, the risk of death or being unable to re-enter the earths atmosphere, they took those risks because they were made of the right stuff.

“Is that a man?”
-“You’re damn right it is!”

Click here to buy The Right Stuff

#9 - Croupier

A story about an aspiring writer who gets a job as a croupier in a casino. When he gets involved with a patron of said casino (cue Alex Kingston in her birthday suit), she encourages him to join her gang to be the inside man (see what we did there?) for their planned heist of the casino. All the while, Jack uses his experiences for the plot of his book, “I, Croupier”. The movie is multi-layered, combining love, sex, deceit and betrayal along with robbery and murder and is definitely a sleeper. We’d never even heard of it until we saw it. Clive Owen, as usual, portrays the character fantastically.

“The world breaks everyone, and afterwards many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break, it kills - it kills the very good, and the very gentle, and the very brave, impartially. If you are none of these, you can be sure it will kill you, too, but there will be no special hurry.” -Ernest Hemingway

Click here to buy Croupier

#8 - District/Banlieue 13

Can you imagine what a ghetto would look like in Paris in 2010? That’s the setting for this movie. An undercover cop and a former bad guy try to infiltrate a gang to defuse a neutron bomb. What ensues is a high-octane fusion of freerunning and government conspiracy. If you’re looking for an adrenaline fuelled movie with some great stunts, you could do much worse than District 13.

“You really think the government would allow District 13 to be destroyed?”
-”Six million died for not having blonde hair and blue eyes.”

Click here to buy District 13

#7 - The Nest

If your movie of choice is a tightly-woven action thriller, you should pick up a copy of this stylish French movie which may go by its other name, Nid de guêpes. The film is a combination of Die Hard and Assault on Precinct 13 which, surprisingly, packs an emotional punch and may draw a sob or two from the more sensitive viewer. It’s an intelligent film with a steady pace that may not sit well with the traditional Hollywood standards but we found it absolutely thrilling and enjoyed every second of the crisp, sparkling visuals, particularly during the numerous blood-soaked shootouts. Oh and it stars this lovely lady too.

“This is where it gets complicated.”

Click here to buy The Nest

#6 - The Sting

Robert Redford and Paul Newman star in this crime-comedy caper as Johnny Hooker and Henry Gondorff. After a big job turns bad, Johnny turns to Henry (possibly one of the greatest con-artists of all time) to set up a revenge sting against the vindictive head of the big-time gangsters Johnny had inadvertently ripped off in his initial job. The mannerisms and methods of speech portrayed by the characters will whisk you back to the middle of the Depression, yet the characters portray charisma in bounds and enough human spirit to come together in battle against devilish gangster Doyle Lonnegan. This is cinematic enjoyment at its purest.

“Luther said I could learn some things from you. I already know how to drink.”

Click here to buy The Sting

#5 - Human Traffic

If you’re English, chances are you’ve seen this movie. If you’re not then you probably think it’s about trafficking humans. Actually, it’s about pubs, clubs, drugs and love. Some people will say that the movie glorifies drug use, but you need to accept this film for what it is. A group of friends who live for the weekend. When Friday night arrives they spend the entire weekend drinking, clubbing and socialising. Just watching this movie makes me want to go out and live it up till the wee hours of the morning. Does it make me want to take drugs? No it doesn’t. Don’t take it too seriously and you might actually enjoy this film.

“The weekend has landed. All that exists now is clubs, drugs, pubs and parties. I’ve got 48 hours off from the world, man. I’m gonna blow steam out my head like a screaming kettle, I’m gonna talk cod shit to strangers all night, I’m gonna lose the plot on the dancefloor. The free radicals inside me are freakin’, man! Tonight I’m Jip Travolta, I’m Peter Popper, I’m going to never-never land with my chosen family, man. We’re gonna get more spaced out than Neil Armstrong ever did, anything could happen tonight, you know? This could be the best night of my life.”

Click here to buy Human Traffic

#4 - 101 Reykjavík

If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like if you were a 30 year-old guy living in Iceland, then wonder no more. Following the life of unemployed Hlynur, this isn’t your typical guy movie. It’s almost a coming-of-age drama comedy with some really brilliant dialog. Hlynur still lives with his mother and spends his days drinking, smoking and watching porn on the net - there’s at least one thing in that list we can all relate to. He won’t get a job and he isn’t exactly successful with the ladies. There is plenty of nudity for you too, although on more than one occasion, the nudity won’t be to your liking (if you’re a guy). Fantastic film that won a great deal of awards.

“Why don’t they show any porn in the morning? It’s easy to get the rest up once your dicks up and about.”

Click here to buy 101 Reykjavík

#3 - Seven Samurai

How we missed off Kurosawa’s triumphant epic from the last list, we’ll never know. We have shamed ourselves. Anyway, this movie is a masterpiece and it follows the story of seven masterless samurai hired by a village of farmers to combat bandits who will return after the harvest to steal the crops. One of the greatest and most influential films of all time, Seven Samurai is one of a select handful of Japanese films that became widely known in the west. Of course, then Hollywood saw the potential and the story was adapted for the western film The Magnificent Seven starring Steve McQueen. Many of the scenes in The Magnificent Seven mirror those of Seven Samurai, albeit in a different setting and the last line of dialog in the movies are almost exactly the same.

“The old man was right. Only the farmers won. We lost. We always lose.”

Click here to buy Seven Samurai

#2 - The Rules Of The Game

After reading the plot for this movie, we really didn’t expect to like it but much to our surprise, this movie was fantastic. Set in France at the onset of World War II, The Rules Of The Game is actually a provocative study of class distinction and human folly. This movie is quite complex and with such great dialog, you’d probably need to watch it a few times to catch everything. The movie is like a murder mystery at a big French chateau. Was it one of the rich guests with the knife in the kitchen? Was it a servant with the lead pipe in the bedroom? Watch the movie to find out.

“I have no choice but to dismiss you. It breaks my heart, but I can’t expose my guests to your firearms. It may be wrong of them, but they value their lives.”

Click here to buy The Rules Of The Game

#1 - The Limey

This is not your typical revenge type movie. It’s a slow burner, focusing much more on the character Wilson, played by Terence Stamp. Wilson is an English criminal who, fresh out prison, heads to LA to avenge the death of his daughter. A simple but effective story line I’m sure you’ll agree. The look Stamp has on his face in this movie is enough to strike fear into the heart of anyone and his vocabulary is wonderfully English.

“Can’t be too careful nowadays, y’know? Lot of “tea leaves” about, know what I mean?”
-”Excuse me?”
“Tea leaves… thieves.”

Click here to buy The Limey

If you’ve scoured the planet for obscure guy movies, or you’re just a major movie buff, feel free to drop a few movie titles in the comments to enlighten us all. Here at Just A Guy Thing we’re particularly interested in foreign movies at the moment so please, share with us.

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When someone mentions the name Chuck Norris, what is the first thing you think? If you’re anything like me you’re thinking how much of a legendary bad-ass he is! And with good reason too. The bloke is a martial artist and a Hollywood action star. He’s reached iconic status for his tough guy image. So let’s look at what makes the man, born Carlos Ray Norris, so manly.

What makes Chuck Norris so manly?

• His childhood was tough. He was bullied by kids at school, his old man was a heavy drinker and he was unathletic and shy! You can tell a lot about the strength and character of a person by the childhood they had. Chuck learned very early on that if you want to get ahead you need to be fit, strong and avoid the sauce.
• He’s got a black belt in Tang Soo Do. Getting a black belt in the Orient is a sign of manliness indeed. Chuck went to Korea a boy and came back a man. Research suggests that his rise to manliness was accelerated through the complex carbohydrates found in Korean rice.
• He was in the Air Force. Being a patriot is manliness personified. Risking life and limb for your country is a testament to the courage and bravery of the man. Also, wearing the Air Force uniform drives the ladies wild. Hell any uniform to be fair!
• He held the Professional Middleweight Karate Champion title for 6 consecutive years. He stumbled in his first two fights - which he lost - but he then went on to become a bad-ass fighter. The title he held was the non-contact title. He was unable to compete in full-contact martial arts for fear that he may kick his opponents head clean off their shoulders with his legendary roundhouse kick. His final martial arts record was 65 wins and just 6 losses (all of which he avenged with a fatal roundhouse kick)
• He became a prominent Hollywood star in a plethora of action movies. Leading men in action movies are manly. Fact. You need to command an audience and display strength and reliability. Chuck had these attributes and more. Rumour has it that on the set of Way/Return Of The Dragon, he actually taught a cleaner on set the basic martial arts moves needed to make fight scenes look authentic. The studio later hired the cleaner to play the starring role in the movie. His name was Bruce Lee.
• He is a very family-oriented man. His adult sons still hug and kiss him goodbye. A proper man’s man should love his family and treasure them above all else. This is one of the truest displays of manliness, in my opinion.
• He invented his own martial art. Chun Kuk Do is a martial art created by Norris which combines the basic principles of Tang Soo Do with elements of every other art he knows. How effin’ manly is that?

If that little list of manly treasures wasn’t enough for you, then listen to this. Chun Kuk Do includes a code of honour and rules that Chuck himself lives by:

1. I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways. Like a Royal Marines commando, Chuck strives to always achieve more and do more. A true man understands that he is never complete. There is always room for growth.
2. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements. One of the most important tests in a man’s life is coping with mistakes. Chuck aims to put them behind him and learn from them.
3. I will continually work at developing love, happiness and loyalty in my family. Once again, his love for his family is shown to have great importance.
4. I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile. Compassion for other people is a rare trait in todays world. Modern men should try to renew the values of the past and treat others as they would like to be treated themselves.
5. If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing. A lot of men tarnish the reputation of an entire gender through arrogance, aggressiveness and impoliteness. Silence is golden.
6. I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own. Jealousy is very unbecoming for any man and, if nothing else, should be avoided simply because it turns women off!
7. I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness. Keeping an open mind can lead to greater personal development and growth. It might also get you that threesome with your girlfriends hot new room mate too!
8. I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times. Respect is a two way street. If you give respect, you will receive it.
9. I will always remain loyal to God, my country, family and my friends. While you may not believe in God, you should have something or someone to believe in and remain loyal to. Our beliefs give us reason to achieve our goals.
10. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country and myself. Nobody wants to coast through life with no goals or aims. Keeping your goals at the forefront of your mind will make it all the more satisfying when you achieve them.

That’s a pretty manly code of conduct right there. Even chivalrous knights would struggle to match that! So, do you need more proof that Chuck is the most manly man alive? Okay, then lets look at the competition.

The challengers to Chuck Norris’ Most Manly Man Alive award

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Why he is a rival: He won 5 Mr. Universe and 7 Mr. Olympia titles. He also compared working out to ejaculating which is quite possible the most manly analogy in the history of men!

Why he doesn’t beat Chuck: Any man that dons a thong, rubs ridiculously dark fake tan all over their body and then proceeds to pose on stage is not deserving of the Most Manly Man award.

Mr. T

Why he is a rival: He was a soldier, a bouncer, a bodyguard, a WWF/E wrestler, a martial arts student and an (almost) professional NFL footballer. He donned a mohawk and more jewelry than an entire Tiffany’s store!

Why he doesn’t beat Chuck: Chuck would never play a character who is afraid to fly! What a sissy!

Sylvester Stallone

Why he is a rival: The underdog story of Rocky Balboa is one of the most inspirational and motivating movies ever made; men the world over became more masculine simply through listening to the theme tune!

Why he doesn’t beat Chuck: Stallone has to inject testosterone. Chuck Norris IS testosterone.

What do you think? Could Vin Diesel take on Chuck Norris? How about Jackie Chan or Jason Statham? Can anybody be more manly than Chuck Norris? If you think so, drop a message in the comments and let us know your thoughts. Before you post, just remember: Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

This article is:

Image by hackmancoltaire

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The Royal Marines are the Royal Navy’s amphibious infantry on permanent readiness to deploy across the globe, and is a core component of the UK’s Joint Rapid Reaction Force. In short, they’re badass and the best of the best at what they do.

Much like the U.S Marine Corps, the Royal Marines are a flexible infantry force. To achieve their goals Marines need a very high level of all around fitness, as well as a positive and determined state of mind.

When I think of a Royal Marine, I see a man who approaches the impossible with steely grit and intense inner belief. These attributes are, in my opinion, applicable to anybody looking to better their life. Be it through self-improvement in your job, your physical fitness or your finances and lifestyle.

Whatever your goals, a positive mental attitude will get you a long way to achieving them. In particular, your determination to succeed. Royal Marines have determination in bucketloads. For a Royal Marines Commando, their state of mind is the driving force. It reminds them that the mind powers the muscles and that they are not special because they are Marines. They are special because of what they do and how they do it. As Aristotle said:

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

This is the ethos of the Royal Marines. Their state of mind can be broken down into 4 elements - known as The Commando Spirit.

The Commando Spirit

1. Courage
2. Determination
3. Unselfishness
4. Cheerfulness in the face of adversity

On paper, these attributes seem simple and anybody looking to put together a quick list of ways to improve themselves could recite them. However in practice, it is much more difficult to apply this Commando Spirit to your everyday life. Many people simply don’t have the determination to achieve their goals. I’ve been as guilty as anyone for merely coasting along and doing the minimum amount of effort to get by. But for a Royal Marine, these are drilled into their minds so deeply that it’s no longer a conscious decision. It is part of who they are and I can only imagine the level of clarity and focus that having these attributes drilled into your subconscious will bring.

So how do we achieve this Marine-like mental focus to improve ourselves?

It’s actually quite simple. You need to know what you want. It can be difficult to figure this out - but once you know what you want, the only thing left to do is focus yourself absolutely and completely to achieving it. Force out all the negative thoughts. The last thing you should be thinking is “I can’t do this!”. Of course you can. If you focused all of your mental efforts on how you’re going to achieve your goals rather than worrying that you can’t achieve them, you’ll have a lot more success. Other attributes for you to focus on include:

• Unity - Whether it’s uniting you mind, body and soul or something less cliché like unity with your work colleagues
• Adaptability - You need to be able to adapt through new workouts or new life approaches based on what has worked and hasn’t worked for you in the past
• Humility - You can’t push yourself forward with a pat on the back. When you succeed, be humble and focus on further improvement. Don’t gloat!
• Fortitude - You need the physical and mental strength to endure adversity with courage

If you’re still unsure of how to achieve the focused, Royal Marine state-of-mind, here is a list of tips to improve your clarity and give you the steely determination you need to succeed:

1. From the moment you wake up each day, focus on what you want to achieve and get motivated to succeed.
2. Cut out (or at least down on) bad habits such as smoking, drinking and eating bad foods. Nothing ruins clarity like impurities in your body.
3. Focus on your short term goals. Your long term goals will materialise as an effect of the short term goals.
4. Be as self sufficient and reliant as possible. There won’t always be people around to push you so you’ll need to learn to push yourself further.
5. Never be satisfied. Always strive to achieve more.
6. Don’t focus on limitations. Focus instead on what you want to achieve and the steps you need to take to get there.
7. Believe in yourself. If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.
8. If you struggle or falter, ask for help or advice. I’m happy to help out wherever I can.

The mental stamina of a Royal Marine, coupled with a high level of physical fitness, is what separates them from the mere mortals. They are both core components to the puzzle. Without fitness, all the mental stamina in the world won’t help if every muscle in your body is fully exhausted. Without mental stamina, all the fitness in the world won’t be enough when everything in your being is telling you to stop. Things like gun fire, bombs, endless walking across the Falkland Islands, the altitude of Afghanistan or the blistering heat of Iraq.

So, besides mental strength, what physical attributes do the Royal Marines have - and how did they get them?

The Royal Marines Training Schedule

Royal Marines are typically more lean that U.S. Marines. Regular cardio exercise and interval/fartlek training are a staple in the training arsenal.

Marines often workout twice a day. In the morning this will usually be 30-45 minutes of cardiovascular exercise such as swimming, running or biking. In the afternoon that’s when the fun begins.

Royal Marines Circuit Training

For a Royal Marine, there is a high focus on muscular endurance. They need to be able to give a high level of exertion for prolonged periods of time. The best way to achieve this is through circuit training. As you’d expect, the majority of exercises a Royal Marine performs are based on bodyweight. This allows them to workout wherever they are in the world and can give a fantastic workout in a short amount of time. Here is an example of a Royal Marine workout:

1st SET | 2nd SET | 3rd SET

15 Press-ups | 20 Press-ups | 15 Press-ups
20 Vertical Jumps | 25 Vertical Jumps | 20 Vertical Jumps
20 Squats | 30 Squats | 20 Squats
4 Pull-ups | 6 Pull-ups | 4 Pull-ups
10 Hanging Leg Raises | 15 Hanging Leg Raises | 10 Hanging Leg Raises
15 Box Jumps | 20 Box Jumps | 15 Box Jumps
4 Dips | 6 Dips | 4 Dips
20 Sit-ups | 30 Sit-ups | 20 Sit-ups
10 Lunges | 20 Lunges | 10 Lunges

This circuit should be completed as quickly as possible with no rest in between exercises or sets. You can rest only as long as it takes to get your breathe back to continue.

When performing this routine, Royal Marines ensure that their posture and form is perfect on each exercise. They don’t rush to get through them by arching their backs on press-ups or swinging their legs to complete a pull-up.

In addition to circuit training, Royal Marines also perform regular progressive shuttleruns - also known as The Bleep Test.

The Bleep Test

The objective of the bleep test is to run for as long as possible between two points which are placed 20 metres apart; keeping to the speed indicated by the bleeps on the bleep test.

The test is maximal and progressive. It starts out slowly and the speed increases each minute. A single bleep indicates the end of a shuttle run, which means you should be at the 20 metre line when you hear it. As the test continues, the amount of time between beeps shortens. This means that you need to increase your speed to reach the end of each shuttle in time. When you hear three beeps, this indicates the end of a minute, at which point the speed will increase.

Make sure that you start each shuttle with at least one foot behind the 20 metre line and ensure you turn properly by pushing away with one foot or the other to avoid injury.

Here’s the link to download the audio file for the bleep test

It’s in .wav format so you may need to convert it for use on your iPod or MP3 player.

Ready to become a Royal Marines Commando?

Once you feel like you’ve achieved a good level of physical fitness and your mental strength and clarity is steely, gritty, determined etc and so on, you can - if you’d like to - apply to join the Royal Marines. For many people, performing the exercises and gaining the mental strength of a Royal Marine is enough. But if you’re one of the select few that strive to achieve more than this, then you’re exactly what they’re looking for!

If you’re a Royal Marine, or training to become a Royal Marine, drop us a comment and let us know how the training is going and any tips and advice to become better men.

For years now men have had to suffer in silence when taking their girlfriend or wife to the cinema. How often do you get to see that new Jackie Chan movie? And how often does she get to watch the latest 18th century drama epic? I’m guessing the epic gets the nod over the guy movie every single time! Fear not my poorly treated comrade, help is here.

Men know that violence beats sex (marginally) and war beats peace! We turn our noses up to movies that are too serious or sensitive. When we stick a DVD on we want to hear explosions, laugh our ass off or bask in the beauty of gratuitous nudity! In addition to that, we want - no, better still, we NEED - movies that allow us to recite the dialogue from memory days later (”Heeeerrrresss JOHNNY!”). This behaviour will no doubt attract disturbing looks from women and children, but recite a line to another guy and you’ll see him nod in silent appreciation.

With that in mind, we’ve compiled a list of 100 great movies that every guy MUST see. Take your masculinity back, and start watching.

1. Casino Royale (or any other James Bond movie for that matter)

Fast cars, sexy women, sharp suits and high stakes poker. All very manly things which, when combined with the presence of Daniel Craig, make a really great movie.
Best line in the movie: “Now the whole world’s gonna know that you died scratching my balls!”

Buy Casino Royale Now

2. Terminator

Originally offered the leading human role in this movie, Arnold Schwarzenegger decided that playing a bad ass robot sent from the future to kill was his destiny. And so he swapped swimming trunks, body lotion and homoerotic poses for a leather jacket, a gun and some black shades.
Best line in the movie: “I’ll be back.”

Buy The Terminator Now

3. Die hard

Nothing says hardcore like a hero running around on broken glass in bare feet and smashing through windows on a firehose. Bruce Willis literally wrote the book when it comes to action (we’ll forgive his mild indiscretion for playing a dead guy in the Sixth Sense).
Best line in the movie: “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!”

Buy Die Hard Now

4. The Last Boy Scout

When a movie has murder, strippers, sports, crooked politicians and stars Bruce Willis as a washed-up cop - you know it’s going to be good! This movie doesn’t disappoint. Trust me.
Best line in the movie: “Bad guy: You think you are so fucking cool, don’t you? You think you are so fucking cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain…” Bruce: “Play some rap music. “

Buy The Last Boy Scout Now

5. Top Gun

When the lead character has a butch name like Maverick, it doesn’t matter that he’s being portrayed by short-arse Tom Cruise. This movie will make you feel the need, the need for speed. Guy’s love planes. In particular, planes than can shoot other planes right out of the sky!
Best line in the movie: “And if you screw up just this much, you’ll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong!”

Buy Top Gun Now

6. The Matrix

How many computer hacker nerds wish that they were Neo? Living inside a computer program and able to remake the code anyway they like. With bullet dodging, kung-fu and Trinity in tight leather pants - this movie caters to all tastes!
Best line in the movie: “Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.”

Buy The Matrix Now

7. Back To The Future

If a time traveling Delorean doesn’t get you into a frenzy, then I don’t know what will. The BTTF Trilogy still makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up to this day - if only for the amazing soundtrack by Alan Silvestri.
Best line in the movie: “Great Scott!!”

Buy Back To The Future Now

8. Scarface

When a Cuban refugee falls for a drug kingpin’s girl, you know you have all the hallmarks of an epic gangster flick. If you get attacked by a chainsaw and still live to tell the tale, then you’re alright in my book!
Best line in the movie: “Say hello to my leetle friend!”

Buy Scarface Now

9. The Godfather

Quite possibly the ultimate bloke film ever made. Francis Ford Coppola’s masterpiece is an indispensable guide to surviving with honour in a dog eat dog world.
Best line in the movie: “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

Buy The Godfather Now

10. Platoon

A gritty and emotional (I know I said men don’t like it too serious but this is a war film, so it’s allowed) look at the lives of an American platoon of soldiers as they patrol, fight and die in jungles of Vietnam - seen through the eyes of a rookie recruit.
Best line in the movie: “Free your mind, your ass will follow.”

Buy Platoon Now

11. Universal Soldier

Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren kill each other in battle, only to brought back as reanimated, near perfect, soldiers. Luc Devreux (Van Damme) starts having flashbacks from his former life and brutal conflict ensues. The only acceptable time for you to turn away while this movie is playing is for the gratuitous Van Damme butt shot (unless you like that kind of thing)!
Best line in the movie: “You’re discharged… sarge.”

Buy Universal Soldier Now

12. The Shining

In a nutshell - recovering alcoholic with a volatile temper gets cabin fever and tries to kill his family. To say the film is ‘a bit weird’ would be the understatement of the century. That said, the movie is a masterpiece and a must see - if only for the iconic horror movie quote:
Best line in the movie: “Heeeere’s JOHNNY!”

Buy The Shining Now

13. Fight Club

After seeing this film, a million men declared they wanted to change their name to Tyler Durden and go kick the shit out of someone. Anyone! On the surface, the movie is about proving your manliness by punching the other guys lights out, but really it’s all about knowing yourself and not relying on personal possessions. I think.
Best line in the movie: “I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”

Buy Fight Club Now

14. Dirty Harry

A cop with no regard for the rules (but who always gets the job done) takes on a serial killer targeting random victims. It’s very serious stuff folks. Oh, and he has a big gun too.
Best line in the movie: “You’ve got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”

Buy Dirty Harry Now

15. Rocky

The Italian Stallion, Rocky Balboa, is a southpaw fighter out of Philadelphia looking to make it big by taking on the world champ Apollo Creed. The training montages and music are enough to make you wanna lose that beer belly - almost!
Best line in the movie: “ADRIAN!”

Buy Rocky Now

16. Full Metal Jacket

If you ever wondered what it was like to be a U.S Marine - then wonder no more! This movie has more memorable quotes than any other, thanks mostly to the enigmatic Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.
Best line in the movie: “Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose.”

Buy Full Metal Jacket

17. Bullitt

This is the story of an all guts, no glory cop determined to find the underworld kingpin that killed the witness in his protection.
Best line in the movie: “Look, you work your side of the street, and I’ll work mine.”

Buy Bullitt Now

18. Enter The Dragon

Martial arts messiah Bruce Lee spies on a reclusive crime lord using his invitation to a tournament there as cover. Fight scenes galore and the unmistakable Bruce Lee ‘fight sound’ is just fantastic.
Best line in the movie: “Why doesn’t somebody pull out a .45 and, bang, settle it?”

Buy Enter The Dragon Now

19. 48 Hours

Eddie Murphy is the wise-cracking criminal paired with a hard-nosed cop while they try to track down a criminal! All Eddie Murphy has to do is laugh and I’m sold!
Best line in the movie: “I’ve been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard if the wind blows.”

Buy 48 Hours Now

20. Blade

Vampires, techno music and Wesley Snipes slicing people up with a sword. This movie has all the hallmarks of a guy classic - and it doesn’t fail to deliver.
Best line in the movie: “Fuck me? No, you fuck this!”

Buy Blade Now

21. Clerks

Two blokes working in a convenience store who spend all day annoying customers, discussing movies and playing hockey on the roof. Typical guy stuff. I thought I’d hate this film, but it turns out that I really liked it.
Best line in the movie: “Clerk: 37! My girlfriend’s sucked 37 dicks!” Customer: “In a row?”

Buy Clerks Now

22. Highlander

When you watch a film about immortal beings who can only die if someone chops their head off with a sword - you’re going to be entertained. Back in the day, this film was awesome. Today, well…..it’s still awesome!
Best line in the movie: “You can’t drown, you fool, you’re immortal!”

Buy Highlander Now

23. Braveheart

Exhibitionist Mel Gibson flashes his tackle to his enemies on the battlefield and leads rampant Jocks’ to glory. Well, almost. Brilliant and entertaining film.
Best line in the movie: “FREEEEE-DOMMMMMM.”

Buy Braveheart Now

24. Se7en

I used to have a neighbour that weighed a ton, literally. I’m beginning to think that maybe Kevin Spacey had something to do with it. You don’t wanna miss the gruesome ending to this movie, folks!
Best line in the movie: “Yeah, a landlord’s dream: a paralyzed tenant with no tongue.”

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25. Saving Private Ryan

Let’s face it, Steven Spielberg knows how to make a movie and this war drama starring Tom Hanks is no exception. A gritty, true to life and emotional portrayal of being behind enemy lines.
Best line in the movie: “It’s like finding a needle in a stack of needles.”

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26. Wild Things

If you’d like to see Neve Campbell and Denise Richards make out, then watch this movie. If you’d like to see Denise Richards get champagne poured over her bare breasts, then watch this movie. If neither of these facts have convinced you to watch Wild Things, Matt Dillon is in it - maybe he’s your ‘kind of thing’.
Best line in the movie: “Jesus! Where did she get the shoes? “Whores for less”?”

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27. Naked Gun

Legendary cop Frank Drebin has to foil a plot to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II with hilarious consequences! This is a laugh out loud film - Leslie Nielsen is god!
Best line in the movie: “Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.”

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28. A Few Good Men

Short-arse Cruise stars as a military lawyer defending U.S. Marines accused of murder. Once Jack Nicholson gets into the box - the shit really hits the fan!
Best line in the movie: “You can’t handle the truth.”

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29. Predator

I think I’d fancy Schwarzenegger (in his prime) to take on the Predator and win in real life. He’s badass! Here, he leads a team of commandos into a jungle, only to encounter an extra-terrestrial warrior!
Best line in the movie: “If it bleeds, we can kill it.”

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30. Beverly Hills Cop

Eddie’s laugh is reason enough for this movie to be in the list in addition to 48 Hours. Axel Foley will have you crying with laughter and this movie will have you on the edge of your seat too!
Best line in the movie: “Get the fuck out of here!”
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31. Ocean’s Eleven

George Clooney and the gang plot to rob three Las Vegas casinos simultaneously. Slick, smart and funny movie with a great ending.
Best line in the movie: “Ten oughta do it, don’t you think? You think we need one more? You think we need one more. All right, we’ll get one more.”

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32. Porky’s

Classic 80’s comedy about a bunch of high school kids looking to get laid for the first time! The movie is packed with practical jokes and eccentric characters, like Pee Wee with the short dick (which he measures every morning) who met up for sex with the school “mattress” Wendy already wearing a rubber, or the fat teaching bitch Beulah Balbricker who is determined on making life a living hell for the boys.
Best line in the movie: “This has gotta be the biggest beaver shoot in the history of Florida.”

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33. American Pie

Another classic comedy in a similar vein to Porky’s. Now, call me crazy, but I’ve never once had the urge to stick my wang in an apple pie! To each their own, I guess.
Best line in the movie: “I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.”

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34. Dog Day Afternoon

The robbery should have taken 10 minutes. 4 hours later, the bank was like a circus sideshow. 8 hours later, it was the hottest thing on live T.V. 12 hours later, it was all history. Pacino’s best work, short of Scarface and Godfather Part II.
Best line in the movie: “They keep sayin’ TWO homosexuals. I am not a homosexual. I want you to stop them saying that. Stop.”

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35. Swordfish

Travolta owns in this film. The opening speech is just brilliant and sets the mood for the rest of the movie. Extremely predictable twist, but you do get to see Halle Berry’s breasts in all their glory.
Best line in the movie: “You know what the problem with Hollywood is? They make shit.”

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36. Ferris Buellers Day Off

This movie practically shaped my teenage years. Faking illness to get out of school became an art form for millions after Ferris Bueller taught us the way. Also, the film inspired a bunch of no-hopers to create a new rock band, called Save Ferris. They are quite successful.
Best line in the movie: “Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second. “

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37. Ronin

Robert “Are You Talkin’ To Me?” De Niro stars in this action packed movie about a group of outcast specialists whose services are available to everyone - for a price. So, are you talking to me?
Best line in the movie: “You got the gun. I’m unarmed. Do something. Go ahead. Do something. DO SOMETHING.”

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38. Taxi

Whenever I get a taxi, they always seem to take friggin’ ages to get me where I need to go because I’m on the meter! Not pizza delivery boy Daniel, though. If cruising around in a souped up Peugeot 406 taxi is your cup of tea, this movie has what you need. Who knew the French could make a decent film, eh?
Best line in the movie: “Let me ask you a question: Do your interrogations always end up like this, or are you just trying to impress me?”

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39. Taxi Driver

A mentally unstable war vet with an urge to violently lash out works as a night time taxi driver attempting to save a teenage prostitute in the process!
Best line in the movie: “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me?”

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40. Wayne’s World

Wayne and Garth are two slackers with their own TV show which results in hilarious consequences. Oh, and Cassandra is hot too. Party time. Excellent!
Best line in the movie: “All I have to say about that is ‘asphinctersayswhat’?”

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41. Dumb and Dumber

This film is basically about two stupid blokes trying to find some chick called Mary Samsonite. Some brilliant one-liners and quotes and some fantastic faces pulled by rubber faced comic Jim Carrey.
Best line in the movie: “You wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?? EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

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