Just A Guy Thing

Image by Mikhaela Reid

It’s a Friday night, you’re dressed to thrill and you’re sat in a lovely restaurant with a sexy looking lady. You’re both sipping on champagne and enjoying each others company. Then, out of nowhere, you deliver a burp so powerful that it resonates throughout the restaurant – leaving your date, and the patrons of said restaurant, in a stunned state of silence.

We’d like to think that most men are aware of proper dating etiquette but, for the socially-inept among us, we’d like to educate you on a few dating sins and how to avoid them. Knowing how to act when you’re dating a woman will make you seem normal and gentlemanly, as opposed to weird, possessive and a potential stalker risk!

Sin #7 – Lavishing her with flowers and gifts

Now we’re not saying you should never send your woman flowers. In fact, it can be a very romantic gesture to give her flowers and gifts. It crosses the grey area of stalkersville when you send a hundred red roses and a giant teddy with “I <3 You" on his tummy to her office after just two dates together. Moderation is the key here and if you bombard her with gifts too soon, you could find yourself on the receiving end of a restraining order.

How to avoid it:

You can be romantic without going over the top on grand gestures. Next time you’re on a date, bring her a single red rose as a gift (assuming of course that you’re taking her to a nice restaurant and not the McDonalds drive-thru). It’s sweet, classy and thoughtful without emitting psycho vibes.

Sin #6 – Letting her get her own way every time

Despite what they may tell you, women actually love a challenge more than men. Once they feel like they’ve got you completely figured out – the thrill wears off and they will start to lose interest in you. Nobody wants a walkover partner who will just agree to everything you say. It’s just plain boring and before you know it, she’s stepping out with someone else while you’re stuck at home folding your laundry into neat piles because “that’s the way she told me to do it”.

How to avoid it:

Challenge her! Don’t be a doormat and stand your ground when you want to do something. Football night with the guys coincides with your movie night? Sorry, love, but football wins. Break a few dates with her at the last minute to show that you’re still not totally about her. It’ll drive her crazy but she will enjoy the chase of trying to get you.

Sin #5 – Bombarding her with phone calls

This is a similar scenario to sending her lots of gifts and flowers with an added twist: drunk dialing. A great deal of men will practically harass women with phone calls and texts looking to get together again. Women see it as a desperate desire to have sex with them and contrary to popular male belief – it’s not a turn on! Drunk dialing is worse still because chances are it will be late at night and you’ll leave a drunken message on her answer phone. Your slurred speech and occasional hiccup isn’t going to make her come over and sleep with you; despite your declaration that you’ll “fu*k her brains out”.

How to avoid it:

Don’t be so desperate. If she said she would call then wait for her to make the first move. Go out and meet other people instead of sitting by the phone waiting for a call. It’s very unbecoming for a gentleman to get fixated on one person. If you’re going to get drunk then leave your phone at home. If you do take it out, nominate a wing man to stop you from calling or texting any women while you’re wasted. You’ll thank him in the morning.

Sin #4 – Checking out other women

Occasionally we all like to observe an attractive looking female while in the company of our date but, believe it or not, most women don’t like it. Worse still, some brave souls actually make their observations vocal. “She’s hot – look at that ass!” for example. This is a particular problem when at the movies, watching TV or watching a DVD on movie night and you make casual observations about Natalie Portman’s stripping technique and how she could swing on your pole anytime she liked.

How to avoid it:

The main way to avoid it is to not vocalize your opinions to your lady friend. If you want to get anywhere with her, you’ll keep your mouth shut. Be more subtle with your roaming eye to reduce the chances of getting caught. Following the seconds hand on a clock for five minutes will improve your focus but may not stop your eyes from wandering if a leggy blonde waltzs past you. If you do get busted, make an observation about the subject. For example, “Her dress is nice. I think you’d look even better in it with your sexy long legs.”

Sin #3 – Being too over-protective and jealous

Nothing can sabotage a relationship quicker than an over-protective boyfriend. Her friends will hate you first and foremost; which means they’ll be telling her to ditch you and find someone better. If you start getting jealous of her friendship with another guy, she’s going to see that as a sign you’re not trustworthy yourself. In her eyes, if you think she’d cheat in that kind of situation then it’s because you yourself would also cheat in the same scenario. Get it?

How to avoid it:

Next time she talks about going to the bars with her friends, ask to join them. Make yourself a part of her social circle and you’ll be praised by her friends for years to come. You’ve all got your girlfriend in common so it shouldn’t be too difficult to make friends and all have a good time together. Make sure you don’t hit on her hot friend though – it will come back to haunt you!

Sin #2 – Copping a feel in public

Unless you’ve been together a while or your girl is an exhibitionist (lucky you!), grabbing her boobs and ass in public is a sure-fire way to get a slap in the mouth and end the date. If your girl is drunk and you’re copping a feel, be warned. It’s ungentlemanly and it will eventually get back to her that you were taking advantage of her drunken state. Obviously, if a girl grabs your junk on the dance floor first, she has initiated the gropefest and you can now fondle at will!

How to avoid it:

Keep in mind that if you play your cards right, you could have your hands all over her body for hours without the risk of any feminine backlash. Treat her like a gentleman, flirt with her and you will be able to do much more than cop a quick feel. If she’s too drunk, take care of her and don’t take advantage. She’ll appreciate it in the morning – once she sobers up.

Sin #1 – “Smile for me, baby.”

Although there are probably many more sins such as lack of spontaneity or being too negative about anything and everything, commanding a girl to smile is a pet peeve for a lot of women! You are invalidating her feelings by making her pretend she’s having a good time when, clearly, she isn’t. It’s also a bit condescending to be flat out told to smile and there is always a good reason why she isn’t grinning.

How to avoid it:

Instead of asking her to smile falsely, actually learn how to make women laugh and use your new found knowledge to build a connection with her. If you’re doing it right, she’ll smile without needing any prompts or commands from you.

Obviously there are many more sins to avoid when dating such as burping, farting and telling stupid jokes you read in an e-mail. Leave some comments with the worst things girls (or guys) have done while you were on a date with them and we’ll all have a good laugh at their expense.