The next big comedy to come out of the Apatow camp has hit the silver screen running and is already being hailed as the new Superbad. So who the hell is Sarah Marshall and why are we forgetting her?

What’s Forgetting Sarah Marshall it all about?

A whiny, fame hungry actress cheats on her musician boyfriend with a nympho rock star, played by the snake-hipped lady charmer Russell Brand. The heartbroken boyfriend books a trip to a Hawaiian resort in an effort to get over his slutty ex, only to discover that the new couple are fornicating next door.

What’s good about it?

Well, it’s yet another stellar comedy from Judd Apatow, featuring the usual brilliant cameos from the Apatow gang (Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, Bill Hader). It’s actually deeper than their previous efforts and although this sounds like a step backwards from the Superbad school of comedy, it makes for a perfect date movie. If nothing else, it’s worth seeing for Kristen Bell’s numerous bikinis, arousing fake orgasm and ogling the hot chick from That 70’s Show.

What’s bad about it?

Russell Brand pretty much plays a movie version of himself so if you hate Brand, you’ll hate this. Other than that, the first half an hour has the mandatory breaking-up-is-hard-to-do jokes and way too many shots of Jason Segal’s manhood.

JAGT verdict

Another classic from Apatow. Great laughs, attractive women and fake orgasms. What more could you ask for?

If you’ve seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall and want to share your opinions; feel free to drop your review in the comments.

After over a week of frantic e-mails being sent to us entering our first ever competition, we have finally drawn a winner from more than two thousand entrants…

Big congratulations to John Jarvie who was picked at random as the competition winner. In addition to answering the question correctly, John also had this to say about sandal wearers:

No, it’s never okay (to wear socks with sandals). In fact, I want to run up and “do a Rambo” on anyone I see doing it.

John, you will receive your prizes shortly you violent, violent man.

To everyone who didn’t win today, fear not; we will be running a number of competitions in the following weeks so subscribe to our feed and keep your eyes peeled for competition questions.

Image by erikg

As a by-product of continuing emasculation, the modern man has found himself yearning the company of men. Often for one man in particular. Welcome to the man crush.

In days gone by, men could do things. Things like fixing the car themselves and changing the oil, fishing, owning a shed full of tools and being able to build things from scratch with a few bits of scrap wood, a hammer and some nails. If we needed further proof that our lives have been emasculated we only need to look at the No More Nails product. Now it probably does get the job done just as well as nails, but it’s not manly unless you’re banging nails in at the wrong angle with your hammer.

Modern man is a pale, disheveled shadow of his former self and it’s our distinct lack of a male compass that leads us into man crushes.

What is a man crush?

A man crush isn’t technically a crush in the traditional sexual sense of the word. It’s more like looking to men with certain skills and talents as our leaders. To teach us their ways. Whether it’s the guy with the well paid job, the man who always gets the girls or even the guy with a cool sense of fashion and style.

Often you’ll find yourself making excuses to your girlfriend in a desperate attempt to spend another Saturday night with him rather than her. It boils down to projecting who you can’t be – or things you can’t do – onto other men.

Take The Fonz from Happy Days for example. Richie, Potsie and Ralph all looked up to him. Three total geeks seeking guidance. They wanted to be The Fonz. Let’s face it, who didn’t? He rode motorbikes, was a tough guy and got all the ladies. The fact that he was an unemployed mechanic who lived in a garage and spent most of his time hanging out with teenage boys is irrelevant. The primeval urge to bond with and look up to men manifests itself in their complete devotion to this alpha male.

It’s a simple fact that when not trying to get into some hot girls pants, men will always prefer to hang around with other men.

Do I have a man crush?

Now there are probably men reading this who think that, although they know other men that they like and enjoy spending time with, the terms ‘bromance’ and ‘man crush’ are a little bit of an over-exaggeration. Well, picture this scenario:

You’ve just been asked out on a date by a gorgeous blonde woman when you bump into George Clooney. George invites you to a poker game at his house. The Oceans 11/12/13 guys will be there and no women are allowed. Which would you choose?

It’s an absolute no-brainer. Welcome to the world of man-crushes my emasculated friend.

If you’ve got a man crush on someone, famous or otherwise, and aren’t afraid to admit it then drop us a comment and let us know why you admire this person so.

Image by shadowblaze666

This is a guest post by Joseph Matthews (ArtOfApproaching.com)

It’s the age old question every “nice guy” ends up asking himself at one time or another…

“I’m a good guy, so why is it all the jerks get the women and I’m stuck being alone?”

Sometimes, it’s easy to believe that Jerks have some type of magical power that allows them to sucker women into liking them and somehow have them hang around while they treat them like dirt.

This happens SO MUCH, that some guys believe that they actually have to BECOME Jerks to get women attracted to them.

But make no mistake about it - nobody likes a jerk. Not even the women who date them! So if that’s the case, why is it obvious that they get so many girls to go for them?

Well, remember that Jerk’s tend to go through lots of women quickly. Most girls will only put up with Jerk behavior for so long before they get sick of it. And those who stick around have such low self esteem as it is, that they’ve formed some type of strange attachment to the emotional abuse Jerks doll out.

That said, there are a number of things Jerks do to attract women that make them effective seducers and pick up artists. And these are things that “nice guys” can do, and get the same results.

Here are the top 5 things Jerks do to get women, and how you can do them too - WITHOUT having to become a prick…

1. Jerk’s are self-centered

   One of the big things a Jerk has going for him is that he really doesn’t care about other people. In fact, his focus is almost entirely on his own pleasures, thoughts, and feelings.

   Because of this, when he sees something he wants, he goes after it!

   When your average “nice guy” sees a hot girl, he might be intimidated. He wants her to like him. He wants approval from her. In short - he cares about what she thinks!

   But in addition to that, most guys care about what other’s think too! They worry about a girl rejecting them in front of other people, and what those people will think when they see it happen.

   Jerks do not have this problem. They couldn’t care less about what other people are thinking. The Jerk is only focused on getting what he wants.

   When you allow yourself to focus on your goals, and set aside fears of judgment from others, this gives you a great deal of focus, and as we all know, focus is KEY to achieving what we desire.

2. Jerks aren’t afraid to approach women

   The single, most important step in getting a woman is walking up to her and talking to her.

   So many guys just DON’T DO THIS. They are too shy, or too intimidated by the girl to do so. Instead, they hang back and just stare at her like a big dummy, wishing he could find the balls to meet her.

   Jerks don’t hesitate to approach a girl. They’re not worried about whether or not she’s going to like them, because THEY DON’T CARE.

   They’re thinking about how hot it’s going to be to make out with her. They’re thinking about how much fun it will be to get her in bed. The LAST thing on their mind is “fear of rejection.”

   To a Jerk, if a girl rejects him, there’s something wrong with HER, not him. Nice guys will say “Oh, I’m too ugly, she doesn’t like me.” Jerks will say “That bitch is a total lesbian.”

   Just the act of being able to approach a girl and start talking to her puts the Jerk at an advantage, because he’s interacting with the girl, and the “nice guy” isn’t. To the girl, the nice guy doesn’t exist!

   That’s why women typically have such low opinions of men, because it’s always the Jerks who are approaching the women while the shy guys sit off in the corner!

   Jerks realize it’s not the woman’s job to approach the guy. If you want something, you have to go after it.

   So if the Nice Guys were to start walking up and talking to women, they might be surprised to find most women WELCOME their company and really want to meet a good fella to treat them right!

3. Jerk’s don’t censor themselves

   Part of the reason Jerk’s come off as fun, interesting, or exciting is because they aren’t worried about offending anybody. They will talk about whatever, joke about whatever, and even broach “sensitive” topics of conversation without a blink of an eye.

   Too many “nice guys” hold back when they talk to a girl they like. They NEVER bring up sex. They don’t even joke about it. Heck, they don’t even display any sign they even LIKE the girl.

   Because of this, the Nice Guys become the Boring Guys.

   The Jerk will come along, make an off-color joke, tell the girl a racy story, and even MAKE FUN of the girl!

   He could care less if he offends somebody. To the Jerk, he’s just doing what comes naturally to him. Attitude like this is like a breath of fresh air to many women, because they mistake it as “confidence.”

   But the more they are around the Jerk, the more they realize it isn’t confidence at all - its just narcissism, and a complete lack of caring about others.

   A nice guy would do well to “loosen up” when first meeting a girl and not try and please her so much, just like the Jerk does. But in the long term, it’s okay to care about what a girl thinks and be on your best behavior. But do this ONLY after you’ve created an attraction with her.

4. Jerks are honest about what they want.

   When a Jerk approaches a woman, he makes no bones about what he’s after. He flirts with her, lusts after her, and tries to convince her to come home and have sex with him.

   The girl knows RIGHT AWAY what the Jerk wants, and after he’s made it clear, it is up to her to decide if she wants to give it to him.

   If not, the Jerk moves on and finds another girl. If so, then the Jerk takes her by the hand and drags her off.

   This type of honesty is actually appreciated by women. In contrast, you have the nice guys who try and fly under the radar by being an asexual “friend.” He hangs out, listens to the girl’s problems, tries to help her when she needs it, and then all of a sudden, he springs the fact on her that he’s deeply in love!

   And the girl FREAKS OUT.

   The reason for this is that the “nice guy,” in trying to not get rejected quickly by misrepresenting his intentions, has basically built a relationship with the girl based on LIES.

   And because of that, the girl has already pegged him as a “friend.”

   So when the guy wants to be “more than friends,” the girl feels betrayed, because she’s become accustomed to thinking of him in a certain way, and now he’s demanding she look at him differently.

   (Not surprisingly, shortly after this happens, most girls even stop being “friends” with the guy!)

   Nice guys should make their intentions clear from the start. Flirt with a girl. Let her know you like her and want to date her! If she rejects you, move on until you find a girl who likes what you have to offer.

   That’s what the Jerks do, and it works out great for them!

5. Jerk’s safeguard their self esteem

   All too often, getting rejected from one girl will send a “nice guy” down a spiral of depression. His self esteem will hit rock bottom, and he’ll get depressed and withdraw for the rest of the night.

   Jerk’s don’t suffer from this problem. They safeguard their self-esteem viciously, and don’t allow rejection to get them down.

   This is why Jerks are Jerks! Because they will completely IGNORE rejection, and even go so far as to put down and ridicule other people to make themselves feel more important than they are.

   This constant guarding of their self esteem allows them to keep pursuing their goals by not allowing them to fall into a funk of depression.

   And no matter how you cut it - a guy with high self esteem is always way more attractive to women than a depressed loser.

   For the average nice guy, it’s important not to take rejection personally. If a girl isn’t into you, it doesn’t mean you’re not attractive, or cool, or interesting - it just means that girl isn’t right for you!

   So you keep looking for one that is, and you don’t stop until you find her.

   Rejection can be a hard thing for anyone to deal with. But remember to keep a positive outlook. Instead of seeing it as “losing a girl,” think of it like “I just eliminated a girl who’d have wasted my time if I pursued her.”

   You don’t need to ridicule or bad mouth others to feel good about yourself like Jerks do, but you should protect your self esteem as viciously as possible, because that will keep you going.

Understand - picking up women is a numbers game. The more women you meet, the more likely it is you’ll get one! Jerk’s succeed due to their tenacity and ability to play the numbers. Nice guys go for one or two women a night while Jerks hit up 20-30.

And it’s these five traits that allow them to do that!

But if you really want to learn the secrets of building your confidence, safeguarding your self esteem, and approaching women without getting rejected, you should head on over to my website and sign up for my free newsletter.

Every day, I send out advice and tips on how to be more confident and how to approach more women.

So click here to sign up for my free approaching women course.

And remember - you don’t have to be a Jerk to attract women! You just have to be the type of guy who isn’t afraid to go after what he wants.

Joseph Matthews is an expert in the dating advice field. Since 2004, he has been teaching men how to build their confidence and meet and date more women. He is the author of the best-selling book The Art Of Approaching. You can learn more about Joseph and his teachings by visiting his website at www.artofapproaching.com.

Image by hyrckowian

In an attempt to part the bald truth of healthy hair from follicle fiction, we’ve investigated the myths surrounding the dreaded male pattern baldness to expose the truth behind the urban legends.

So, is it a case of hair today, gone tomorrow for these 11 hair-loss myths? Let’s find out.

Myth 1 - Smoking stunts your hair growth

Image by cgandolfo

True or False?

True.

There is no question that smoking is bad for you, so it comes as no surprise that smoking does indeed destroy hair follicles, interferes with blood and hormone circulation in the scalp and increases production of hair-shrinking oestrogen. On top of that, smokers are four times more likely to have grey hair than non-smokers.

Myth #2 - Standing on your head makes your hair grow

Image by depressiverealism

True or False?

False.

Alternative health practitioners advised headstands to increase bloodflow and combat baldness back in the 80’s but there is actually no proof whatsoever that a rush of blood to the head will restore your glorious locks. Unless, of course, you’ve dropped your toupee on the floor.

Myth #3 - There is no cure for baldness

Image by mattybusiness

True or False?

False.

“Take lime seeds and black pepper, grind them together into a fine paste and….” The same internet marketing scammers that claim to have the cure for a hangover are touting potions, pills and scalp-weaves to bald men the world over. There is hope, however, as around 80% of men using the new drug finasteride retained more hair than those taking placebos, and two thirds of the men in the trial actually re-grew hair.

Myth #4 - Baldness is a sign of intelligence

Image by gr33ndata

True or False?

True.

Apparently, the higher your levels of brain growth protein, the more susceptible your hair is from removing itself from your head. The research in Berlin is the first evidence that suggests growth factors for the development of brain cells are also important for the growth of hair follicles.

Myth #5 - Pull out a grey hair and two come back

Image by chicanerii

True or False?

True. Kind of.

Pulling a hair out can rupture the follicle. The replacement hair that grows back takes longer to regenerate, by which time another grey hair is beginning to grow next to it. It’s not the end of the world though, Gandalf. Chicks dig the distinguished gentleman look anyway.

Myth #6 - Cutting makes your hair grow back thicker

Image by TIO…

True or False?

False.

All hair above skin level is actually dead and cutting it has absolutely no affect on the volume of regrowth. Pre-pubescent boys have struggled with this concept for years when trying to get a handlebar ‘tache going and, although short bristly hair may create the impression that it grows back thicker, the reality is that there is no more hair growing back than you had in the first place.

Myth #7 - Eating bread crusts puts hairs on your chest

Image by jenandjohn

True or False?

True.

Once again, German scientists (do they have a baldness problem over there?) found that bread crusts have eight times more antioxidants than the rest of the loaf. Research shows that antioxidant intake is crucial to improving scalp circulation and creating melanin - the hormone that makes your hair thicker and richer.

Myth #8 - Baldness comes from your mothers side

Image by brian_houlihan2002

True or False?

False.

That old adage, “If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother” doesn’t ring true in this instance. Genetics do play a major part in male pattern baldness, but the gene can come from either parent. So next time you look at your father and see Britney Spears in bald-breakdown mode, don’t forget to look at your mother; she might be looking like Demi Moore in G:I Jane.

Myth #9 - Baldness is a sign of other health problems

Image by pedrosimoes7

True or False?

True.

A Harvard study found that men with frontal baldness had a 9% increased risk of heart disease. Worse still, those with a shiny crown had a 36% greater risk compared to men with a full head of hair. Research shows that a build-up of fatty deposits from eating too much fat and salt could be the cause.

Myth #10 - Stress causes dandruff

Image by Simon-Pais-Thomas

True or False?

True.

If your shoulders are starting to look like the Alps, you might be working too hard. The fungus that causes dandruff is present on all scalps but dandruff becomes a problem when your immune system is weakened. Since stress is a key reason for low immune function, it stands to reason that stress is making your head snow.

Myth #11 - Bald men are more virile

Image by mkmabus

True or False?

False.

We’re not sure where this myth came from (perhaps a bald man made it up) but it just isn’t true. Despite what bald people tell everyone it isn’t because their bodies are spilling over with testosterone! The amount of testosterone has no impact, so next time you see a bald men telling anyone who will listen that he’s ‘too manly for hair‘ you can put him straight on the matter.

If you’ve heard a ridiculously ludicrous hair loss myth, leave it in the comments. Also, if you’ve got any photos of bald people doing the funniest things, drop us a link to them too. Laughter might not make our hair grow back, but at least there is always someone worse off than us!

Image by dps

Believe it or not, pink shirts are back in fashion! There’s nothing girly or homosexual about wearing a pink shirt. In fact, this little diamond in the rough fashion tip might just help you impress the right kind of woman for a change.

What is so great about wearing a pink shirt?

Women want their men to be macho, but what they don’t tell you is they want that macho man to have a sensitive side. What better way to show your sensitive side than opting for a soft shade of pink for your next night out on the town? Not only that, a pink shirt will make you stand out in a sea of boring blue and white shirts at the bar.

Gone are the days when the pink shirt was considered the yuppie 80’s investment bankers shirt of choice; the pink shirt is the straight guys secret weapon when it comes to attracting the increasingly fashion-savvy female population.

Okay, how do I pull off wearing a pink shirt?

When it comes to pink shirts, you don’t want to be too overkill. Avoid shirts with different colored collars and cuffs, and while on the subject don’t buy a shirt with an oversized collar - pink or otherwise.

Unless you want to look like a salmon, don’t buy an orangy-pink shirt. By the same token, you will look gay if you strut out onto the dancefloor in a delightfully sthuper shade of fuschia. Oh, and never, ever, ever, ever wear a pink ruffled shirt. Unless, of course, you are actually gay.

Instead of orange, fuschia or ruffled pink shirts, go for a nice pale pink that offsets your skin tone. Always go for 100% cotton linen to avoid nasty nipple chafing at the end of the night.

Convinced? Buy a pink shirt now and start reaping the benefits of being a style icon.

So you fancy yourself as bit of a pool shark and want to make some money from hustling poor blokes who don’t know any better do you? Well my morally ambiguous friend, we’ve got the tips you need to hustle every last dollar out of your unsuspecting foe!

It’s worth noting right off the bat that you better actually know how to play pool. You can’t be trying to hustle someone if you can’t even pot simple shots. If the cue ball spends more time in the pocket than out when you play, then perhaps you need to brush up on your basic skills first. Once you can be confident you’re moderately skilled then it’s time to hustle!

How to hustle strangers

Notice that the title said strangers? Don’t hustle your friends. For one thing, they won’t be your friends for long if you rip them off. If that doesn’t bother you, then how about the fact that they probably know how good you are and your strengths and weaknesses so all the dirty, sneaky, underhand tricks that you would normally use against a target will be wasted since they actually know not to bet you.

Okay, so the hustling tips; let’s get to it.

• If you’re a real pro, you might want to consider buying a decent quality pool cue. The hustlers weapon of choice is a top notch cue which looks like the piece of crap house cue. Of course, the cue doesn’t make the man so if you’re terrible at pool it won’t matter how good your cue is. Many a hustler can whip opponents with a standard house cue.
It’s always good to play a couple of ‘friendly’ games first to assess your mark to see whether they are hustle material. At this stage it’s essential to get them comfortable by missing easy shots.
• Occasionally you can pot a tough shot and play it up as if it were a fluke, letting your opponent win a few games. Often known as sandbagging, this age-old technique can be used to build up your opponents confidence so you can bleed him dry later
• Many hustlers pretend to be hammered or stupid to lull their target into a false sense of security. Then, when it’s least expected, they’ll run the table and make game-winning shots.

As you can see, the actual hustling is less about actual pool skills and more about picking the right target and staying in your mediocre pool player character. So what else do you need to know?

Advanced hustler skills

Playing with your weaker hand

It will take a lot of time and determination to learn to play pool with your weak hand, but it can be worth the pay off if you’re looking to take some serious cash.

Once you are comfortable playing with your weak hand, put the hustle in motion as usual. Play a few games for fun and lose them, then bring in the money and start running the table. When your opponent has had enough of you taking his money and goes to walk away, offer him a double or nothing if he can beat you while you play with your ‘weak‘ hand. Easy money.

Mastering the hustler shot

As a pool hustler, you don’t want to draw attention to the fact that you could take everyones money without even breaking a sweat. You need to make it appear like you’re getting lucky with your shots. One way to do this is to master the art of almost potting. This is where your shot leaves your ball just short of the pocket, blocking your opponent from potting a shot into it. This, coupled with your character reaction, will make it look like you’re just getting unlucky. Then you can blitz the table and clean up, you unscrupulous S.O.B!

So there you have it. A few hustling tips to rip of unknowing old men down at your local pub and make a bit of money. Of course, if you pick someone who is a really great pool player you’re still screwed. Hustling is all about the mark; it’s not cheating. Oh, and don’t try to hustle a hustler or you’re likely to get burned.

Leave a comment with some of your pool hustling tips and tricks so we can all brush our morals aside in the pursuit of a few easy bucks.

Images by the-o-ster

Those kind folks over at the Bruno Jamais restaurant in New York and luxury Parisian Skincare line Sothys have donated some prizes which we’ll be giving away to one lucky JAGT reader.

The Prizes

• A $50 gift certificate to be redeemed at the Bruno Jamais restaurant in NYC.
  

  Bruno Jamais Restaurant Club brings the French Riviera to the upper east side. Where else can one dine in style until 3am with delectable cuisine such as Lobster Brulee and Foie Gras? The service and décor are equally impressive. The restaurant received the “Best Interior Design” award by Hospitality Design Magazine. Now, for the first time in the restaurant’s four history, Bruno Jamais is open on Sunday nights for dinner, dancing and drinks with a reduced priced menu served from 6pm through 2am. In addition, there is also live entertainment. On a cold winter’s night, allow debonair owner Bruno Jamais to make you feel at home and beat the doldrums of winter. With Chef John Keller at the kitchen’s helm the cuisine is sure to delight even the most discerning palates. Bruno Jamais and John Keller have created a unique menu that has an Asian influence without losing its French integrity. Bruno Jamais is also the perfect place to book your private party and can accommodate up to 200 diners for a buffet dinner or 70 people for a sit down dinner. For those upper east siders who are tired of trekking downtime for a evening of fun, this exclusive venue has it all. If you are looking to see stars, celebrity patrons have included: Billy Baldwin, Joan Rivers, Cindy Adams, Chazz Palminteri and even former President Bill Clinton. Reservations are suggested and chic attire is requested.

• A range of mens skincare products courtesy of Sothys.

  
  

  Detoxifying Active Cleanser:
  A foam-based facial cleanser that gently yet effectively rinses away impurities while preparing skin for shaving. Also ideal for use in place of shaving cream, this soft, pH-balanced cleanser effectively fights against the skin-harming effects of hard water.

  Hydrating Active Care:
  A hydrating and protective gel-fluid that works to restore skin’s hydrolipidic layer and fight against damaging consequences of daily shaving. Intensely fresh in texture and non-sticky, this concentrated product leaves skin silky soft and shine-free.

  Age Defying Active Care:
  An anti-aging gel-cream that acts on several layers of the skin to help visibly reduce existing wrinkles, slow the formation of new lines and restore skin after shaving. Absorbs quickly without a greasy after-feel.

  Soothing After Shave Balm
  A soothing balm with phytomalt, birch and polyphenols of mint leaves that repairs and calms razor burns caused by shaving. The skin immediately feels soothed and fresh, less irritated.

  Mattifying T-Zone Fluid
  A rapid penetrating fluid for an “anti-shine” effect. Perfect for oily areas of the face. Contains a “sebo-regulating” complex that provides an astringent and absorbing effect. Mattifies and soothes.

  Energizing Hair & Body Care
  For all skin types, this 2-in-1 hair and body product is an invigorating wash and gentle cleanser. Contains d-panthenol and silicones to ensure the good health of the hair and to add brilliance; also contains phytomalt.

How to enter

To enter, all you need to do is subscribe to our feed and keep a look out for a simple question in the feed footer. Once you know the answer to the question: e-mail it to hey@justaguything.com.

A winner will be selected at random from all the correct answers received on April 15th. Oh, you might as well stay subscribed too because we’ve got more fantastic prizes coming up in the next few months that you won’t want to miss!

Image by yoke_mc

Using science as an excuse to get tanked on booze has always been a dream of ours at the JAGT HQ, which is why writing this article was all the more satisfying. The thesis is simple; get drunk seven times and for each hangover, try a different ‘cure’ and report back on its effectiveness.

Our subject is a 25 year old male who has experienced some decline in his ability to recover quickly from a hangover. Let’s see what Wikipedia says he has to look forward to:

A hangover is associated with a variety of symptoms that may include dehydration, fatigue, headache, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, weakness, elevated body temperature, hypersalivation, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, irritability, sensitivity to light and noise, erratic motor functions, and trouble sleeping. Many people will also be repulsed by the thought or taste of alcohol during a hangover. The symptoms vary from person to person, and occasion to occasion, usually beginning several hours after drinking.

Looking at the extensive list of hangover symptoms only makes our relationship with beer all the more bittersweet. Let’s get stuck into the experiment and see how our subject got on.

Hangover Cure #1 - The hair of the dog

Image by szczur

The Myth

The colloquial English phrase “the hair of the dog that bit you” actually suggests alcohol itself as a form of treatment for a hangover. Scientifically, there is evidence that a hangover is not only the body removing toxins but also the body’s reaction to withdrawal of alcohol.

The Reality

“After a heavy night drinking, I wake up with a splitting headache and smelling like Robert Downey Jr. before rehab. The thought of drinking more alcohol is unbearable as the nausea sets in. Grudgingly, I crack open a bottle of Budweiser and sit, shaking, in my underwear as I sip the golden nectar in the interests of science. After 30 minutes I start to feel a lot better. Out comes another bottle and this one goes down a lot smoother than before. It’s not even 9am yet and temptation has me craving a third bottle of beer. I resist, and although I feel pretty good now it’s only a matter of time before the familiar symptoms creep back to ruin my day.”

The Conclusion

After trying the hair of the dog, our subject reported that he actually began to feel better. His headache subsided and the feeling of nausea passed. Unfortunately, once he’d finished drinking the symptoms came back just as strongly in the afternoon. By drinking a couple of beers he had merely delayed the inevitable. Now, if he had mixed himself a Bloody Mary, it might have been a different story.

Hangover Cure #2 - A big greasy breakfast

Image by markscott

The Myth

Here in England, ask anyone what the best hangover cure is and it’s very likely that they’ll say, “A big greasy fry up.” A fry up, also known as a Full English Breakfast is a traditionally cooked meal which is served in the morning and will include most of the following:

• Toast or fried bread
• Fried bacon
• Fried egg
• Sausages
• Fried or tinned tomatoes
• Fried mushrooms
• Baked beans
• Hash browns
• HP brown sauce and/or ketchup

While not exactly good for your heart, it is said that a full English can “soak up the alcohol”.

The Reality

“My head feels like I’ve been in a train wreck and to say my stomach is a little delicate would be an understatement. I don’t really feel like eating but the smell of the fried egg and bacon gets me salivating and my taste buds are on red alert. I apply a liberal amount of HP brown sauce to my bacon, sausage, eggs, baked beans, hash browns and tinned tomatoes and get stuck in like I haven’t eaten in weeks! To cap off a fantastic breakfast I wash the food down with a strong cup of tea. Half an hour after the breakfast, my nausea has all but vanished. My head, while still throbbing, doesn’t pound anywhere near as much as it did before I ate and any lethargy I felt when waking up has been replaced by a sudden surge of energy.”

The Conclusion

A pretty good result for this cure. The headache didn’t completely disappear but it subsided, along with nausea and laziness! Perhaps the Full English Breakfast really does soak up alcohol after all?

Hangover Cure #3 - Exercise

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The Myth

There is no denying that a workout makes you feel good. The endorphins are flowing, you clear your mind and your blood pumps through your veins. But is this a good idea after a heavy drinking session? Science states that exercise after a night on the tiles helps the heart pump blood around the body and increases the amount of oxygen in your body too. This, supposedly, flushes the impure toxins of the booze out of your system.

The Reality

“After arriving at the gym, I spend about ten minutes at the water cooler trying not to be sick psyching myself up. With plenty of water to hand, I finally get on and start at a light, steady pace. Surprisingly, my stamina is actually better than usual. I’m sweating like a nun in a cucumber patch but enjoying every second of the workout! After 30 minutes of moderate jogging I decide to call it a day. The walk home is borderline euphoric. If only I’d known that working out after a skinful was this rewarding; I would be built like a Greek god by now. A few hours after the gym however, my head is pounding and I feel exhausted and weak. My euphoric high has now been replaced with a depressive low. So much for the gym being the answer to my alcoholic prayers.”

The Conclusion

Working out seems to be a short term solution to the problem, but is the immense high of working out when you’re already dehydrated worth the physical risks and the manic low experienced by our test subject? Our verdict: no.

Hangover Cure #4 - Drinking water

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The Myth

Although technically a prevention rather than a remedy, drinking water before going to bed is the most common way to prevent a hangover from occurring. The science behind this is simple; excessive drinking leaves your body dehydrated. Replenishing your body by drinking water is the logical way to counteract this. Let’s see if it worked.

The Reality

“After ten pints and a couple of shots, I stumble home in a drunken stupor. I almost head straight for bed before I remember there is something I’m supposed to do. What the hell is it? Oh yes, I need to drink lots and lots of water. I grab my ‘Worlds Greatest Lover’ pint glass and fill it with water. Somehow a pool of water appears on the floor too. Never mind, the girlfriend will sort that out. I refill three times and force the non-alcoholic liquid down my throat. I feel bloated and sleepy. I burp quickly before heading to bed. The next morning I wake up at 9am and lie there for a moment. No nausea, no lethargy, a very slight headache but nothing I can’t handle. ‘It’s a miracle!’ I proclaim as I get out of bed. Oh no….dizziness sets in and I lose my balance and bounce against the wardrobe door. It passes quickly but now the headache is more noticeable. I don’t feel terrible, but I don’t feel great either.”

The Conclusion

There is no questioning that drinking plenty of water both during, and after, your drinking session will be of great benefit the morning after. Our subject suffered slight dizziness and lack of balance, but after ten pints and a few shots, this is actually quite a good result.

Hangover Cure #5 - Over the counter hangover pills

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The Myth

Over the counter dietary supplement RU-21 contains the active ingredient succinic acid, an extract of amber. The penis enlargement internet marketers have jumped on the bandwagon and now tout the pill as a miracle cure for alcohol hangovers. Supposedly developed by Soviet scientists for the KGB, this ‘wonder drug’ apparently metabolizes the alcohol in your body. Urban legend says that it was intended for use by KGB spies to drink heavily with suspected Western spies so that they could remain sober and potentially obtain secrets from their drunken counterparts. When that didn’t work, tests showed it could lessen a hangover. Let’s see.

The Reality

“I had decided beforehand that to fully test this pill I’d need to drink more alcohol than I had ever drunk in my life before. Heading to the local watering hole I started gradually with a couple of bottles of Corona and lime. Then I downed two pints of Carling lager before my mate came over and challenged me to pick up the pace. Necking a double vodka and coke I summoned the barman to provide me with two shots of tequila and a beer to wash it down. Amidst this I was popping the odd ‘dietary pill’ and drawing concerned looks from the locals. Stepping up a gear I drank, in quick succession, a depth charge, two shots of some disgusting apple liquid, an Aftershock and a Southern Comfort and coke. I finished the evening off with a bottle of Bud and a shot of absinthe. (I remember everything I drunk because I wrote it down, thankfully) The next morning I woke up feeling like I’d been hit in the face by a sledgehammer and proceeded to be ‘violently ill’ in the bathroom. This experiment was an absolute disaster and I would gladly accept death to stop the pain.”

The Conclusion

Upon further research, it is documented that the pill “is not for binge drinkers”. It apparently works best when drinking in moderation. Call us cynical but isn’t that the kind of drinking that means you barely even get a hangover, thus ensuring that the drug can never be discounted as a placebo, created by a charlatan to take money from the unsuspecting public?

Hangover Cure #6 - Back To The Future Wake-Up Juice

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The Myth

In Back To The Future: Part 3, Doc Brown gets smashed on whiskey after losing the love of his life. Mad Dog Tannen is on his way to six-shoot Marty and the Doc to an early grave and the lovable scientist has passed out at the bar. The bar tender Chester puts together an antidote to alcohol called wake-up juice. The BTTF wiki claims this juice includes tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, chili peppers, onion, and mustard seed. We bought and blended the ingredients to test out on our unsuspecting subject.

The Reality

“‘What’s in it?’ I ask gingerly as I walk into the kitchen nursing the hangover from hell. My tormentor just smiles and hits level 3 on the blender. My head reacts badly and I wince at the sound of the blades liquidizing the blood-red concoction. After what seems like an eternity I’m handed a half-pint glass of the most disgusting looking drink I have ever seen in my life. I feel like a prisoner of war as I’m instructed to neck the whole thing in one go. I take a deep breath and fling my head back, gulping down the cocktail of god-knows-what. At first I feel nothing. But then, from the bottom of my throat up and into my mouth and my lips, all I feel is heat. I’m burning from the inside with a very distinct bitter taste. I reach for the tap but nothing comes out They cut the taps to ensure the experiment goes as planned! I gag and heave and after what seems like an eternity I prepare myself for the humiliation of vomiting on the kitchen floor, just as the taps come back on and I engulf my head in water, lapping at the faucet like a dog after a long walk. Thirty minutes later and the headache still pounds through my skill, my stomach is more volatile than ever and my lips still tingle with the hint of tabasco sauce. I’m never drinking again.”

The conclusion

It seems that with all their millions of dollars, Hollywood can put together some fantastic sets, amazing visual effects and some great guy movies, but they can’t create a cure for a hangover.

Hangover Cure #7 - Vomiting

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The Myth

Another prevention which is supposed to be done prior to sleeping, vomiting has been the hangover prevention of choice for frat boys for decades now. The science says that vomiting is the bodies natural way of getting rid of toxins quickly. Oh, there is also the slight risk of dehydration and electrolyte imbalances. Nevertheless, we sent our intrepid subject out to vomit in the name of science.

The Reality

“After a marathon drinking session which started at the local pub, I began my quest to have a drink (or two) in each bar leading into town - a mile long stretch in total - before arriving at a nightclub ten pints later for some serious drinking. Cue shots of vodka, whiskey, tequila, ouzo, absinthe and Aftershock - all in the name of science. I don’t remember getting home, but what I do remember is being wrapped around the toilet for the better part of the night. I awoke in the morning to find myself sleeping on the floor next to the bed. I ached but my head felt fine. My stomach felt pretty solid and I had a big bacon sandwich and cup of coffee to pick me up. I was feeling great with the only downside being my lack of desire to do anything. I lay in bed playing XBox and nothing short of a natural disaster was going to get me out of my underpants. Of course, I’d rather feel bad than have to clean up the festering mess that still exists in and around the toilet bowl!”

The Conclusion

Being sick after a heavy session seems to greatly reduce the effects of a hangover the next morning. It doesn’t reduce the lethargy though and the health risks of regularly making yourself sick means that we recommend leaving self-induced vomiting to Nicole Ritchie and the Olsen twins.

The final hangover summary

Of the seven remedies trialled by our resident guinea pig, we asked him to choose the most effective cure for a hangover. His answer: A Full English Breakfast. Now, after all this science mumbo-jumbo we’re gonna head off and get a few beers, while eating….a full english breakfast. In the meantime, drop your best hangover remedies in the comments. We can’t live without the booze, so we might as well share ways to enjoy all of the positives while reducing the negatives. Cheers.