#5 – Impotence is a grounds for divorce
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In over 20 states in America, impotence can be cited as the grounds for a marriage breakdown and subsequent divorce. I’m sure a few wealthy businessmen who didn’t see the need for a pre-nup are now kicking themselves for their shortsightedness. It’s not enough that men have the burden of pleasuring the woman they love and rising to the occasion every time. Now we have the added pressure that if we can’t get it up and give our wife a good seeing to, she can divorce us. If you weren’t suffering from penile dysfunction before, you may well do now! I think there should be another reason for divorce created to cite women who don’t have the necessary fellatio skills to keep a man at full mast. Believe me, I’ve met a few of them.
#4 – Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm
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What? My dad never told me that. All these years I’ve been performing the sexual equivalent of stuffing a turkey and I never knew it. A lot of guys don’t even think about her pleasure during sex because it’s so easy to get lost in the moment. Thinking about it from a female perspective though, it makes sense. In, out. In, out. In, out. Yeah, I can see how that might get a bit boring after a while. The key is to master the clit using your fingers, tongue and any other body part you think can do the job. One of the best positions to get her clit going is doggy style with a manual reacharound. Try it and become a stud today.
#3 – Your penis can explode
I’ve watched an entire TV documentary on sex disasters and things that go wrong during sex and it has changed the way I look at sex forever. I remember one in particular involving a Romanian man and his sexy 18 year-old girlfriend. If you’ve ever had an erection so hard you felt like it could burst, imagine how this guy felt. His erection was so hard, firm and manly that the blood cavities in the penis actually burst. Can I get an overwhelming “Ouch!” from the guys reading this? And it’s not just your penis exploding you need to worry about. There’s something a lot more common that nobody told me about until it happened to me. The dreaded ‘banjo string’. If you don’t know what the banjo string is, it’s the piece of skin between the penis and the foreskin and is officially known as the frenulum. If you’ve been circumcised congratulations, you probably haven’t even got a banjo string. If you haven’t, there is a good chance that rough sex can ’snap’ this little bit of skin and it bloody hurts. And bleeds. A lot.
#2 – Only 1 in 400 men can give themselves oral sex
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While it’s not surprising that only 1 man out of every 400 has the size and/or flexibility to perform fellatio on themselves, what is really embarrassing is that most of, if not all of, the 400 men have tried to give themselves oral. I find it a slap in the face to evolution that men created the wheel, flew to the moon, invented electricity and learnt to fly, yet they still attempted to suck themselves off in the bathroom. If you’re laughing while you read this, then chances are you’ve tried this yourself. If you have a smug grin on your face while you read this, then maybe you should consider a career in porn.
#1 – Men have a G-spot too
Image by mzocher
Men actually have a spot which, when stimulated, can induce pleasure in much the same way as the female G-spot. The irony of this is that to pleasure ourselves in this way we have to explore areas of our body that most straight men would prefer not to explore. For some reason, our prostate is the source of this pleasure and it happens to be buried deep in our dirtbox. If you want to explore the joy of rubbing this sacred spot, you need to insert one (or two if you’re feeling brave) fingers directly into your anus. I experienced this completely by accident one evening when an ex-girlfriend decided to surprise me with an impromptu anal probing. Needless to say, I have mixed feelings about the whole thing as a result. If you’re brave enough to try it, lube up. Trust me, it won’t be anywhere near as enjoyable going in dry.
I had to learn all of this (and much, much more) through my own investigation and experimentation because my father only ever gave me two pieces of advice before I became sexually active:
- Shag as many women as you can while you’re still young.
- Don’t get her pregnant or bring home any infections.
If you have any sex information or advice that you think people should know about, or you want to share the key points of your own sex talk with your dad, leave a message in the comments. Ladies, feel free to comment too on things guys do wrong in the sack or things they should do more often and if your mother gave you some brilliant sex advice then for the love of God, please share it with us too.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:15 am
I agree with all except the ’sex isn’t always like a porno’.
With the right person, it always IS.
January 7th, 2009 at 6:58 am
great article enjoyed reading it
January 8th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
been following your article nice one!
February 17th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Test the advice given above
March 17th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
of course its not like a porno your not screwing ugly nasty skanks u should be thanfull its way better then a porn
April 2nd, 2009 at 10:21 pm
I have been told by several men that I have porn star sex
I think that the comments about the brain being the most important sex organ are true, if you can talk about sex with your partner, and discuss what you both like, you will have much MUCH better sex, and talking about it can get you both excited, and works as great foreplay! Don’t be afraid to try new things, and if you dont like it, dont do it again, but chances are you will find out you like a lot more than you thought!
I love being dominated, but some times its fun to be in charge too. I also love it hard and hot, but i love soft and sensual just as much, variety is the best!
I’m really tired of people thinking that if a man enjoys anal stimulation he is somehow gay… a friend of mine recently while discussing this topic said “but doesnt that make him gay…?” i was like how does that make any sense? being gay is about being attracted to other men rather than women, and has absolutely nothing to do with anal…
There are way too many taboos and double standards surrounding sex that it can feel almost impossible to get past them, but once you do, and embrace your full sexuality, the world is a much better place
June 15th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
sex is like a meal to be eaten slowly and savored unless her husband could walk in at any moment.